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Time for another ranty thread

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Been taking the contraceptive pill that makes me go on my period. Not taking it for 7 days cause is suppose to be the time i have my period and it is more painful than my natural period. Usually hurts my back never my stomach. But right now my stomach kills and my pelvis area and vagina and im feeling sorry for myself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Swear if soemone calls me lazy one more fucking time im going to die. 
    My sister wouldnt give a shit about how i feel. She goes like "stop breathing like that, youre affectinng my breathing. "
    WHAT ABOUT ME. No sorry for fucking exisiting does anyone even give me a shit. Because if i knew someone who was very suicidal - and was my sister - i would take time out of my day to ask how they are. Not to constntly tell them theyre lazy and throw water at them if they dont do house work. 
    Ive never had that conversation with her, she knows im suicidal but never spoke to me about it


    Clearly i have no reason to stay alive any longer
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Most of my friends - you should reach out for some help with your mood and thoughts and speak to your gp or something

    Me - you mean the man who said "cahms is a waste of time, I'm not writing you a referral"

    Most of my friends - ahh right, what about your parents?

    Me - I can't be honest or truthful with my parent because I have this constant fear and anxiety that their gonna just hate me and not understand me at all and just feel disappointed

    Joseph (my old bf) - you should really talk to your parents about this,

    Me - FU**ING NOOO 🤬🤬
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    What hospital runs out of steri strips 😂 this one apparently 🤦 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    BubblesGoesBoo said:
    What hospital runs out of steri strips 😂 this one apparently 🤦 
    Southampton general hospital about 7 year ago 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,787 Master Poster
    Do I have to go to school tomorrow? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 Sorry. I deserve this and I know it.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Please help i cant breath or sleep
    Now i feel like someones going to come on ranty thread to tell me to stop saying i cant breath and that id be dead if cant breath

    i feel dead
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,787 Master Poster
    Not even 11:15am and I have already cried 3 times today, been yelled at 5 times and people have run away from me 7 times. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭Get me out of my shit school. I know that it is impossible but I just hate it so much. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,031 Boards Guru
    edited July 2019
    Kasa2103 said:
    Not even 11:15am and I have already cried 3 times today, been yelled at 5 times and people have run away from me 7 times. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭Get me out of my shit school. I know that it is impossible but I just hate it so much. 
    Hope you're okay @Kasa2103. We're here if you want talk <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    @Kasa2103

    Sending hugs, we are here if you want to chat about anything :heart:


                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Shaunie said:
    Please help i cant breath or sleep
    Now i feel like someones going to come on ranty thread to tell me to stop saying i cant breath and that id be dead if cant breath

    i feel dead
    Hey Shaunie :heart:

    We're here for you if you want to chat about anything? How you feeling now? Have you been to your GP about the breathing situation, just to get checked out. 

    We're here :heart:


                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Im going to die soon i can see it. Can people remember me please😶 cant breath & im sad
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    I care about what people think about me. Probably too much and i think everyones judging me for every word i say
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    I've found a new trait of mine which I hate. As a follow up to spending too much time overthinking things and pretty much bullying myself for a few hours, I've not only been hateful of myself, but also really angry. Pushing me to think spiteful things of others, even the people who've helped me the most. 

    When I try to rationalise it to myself, I think it's all directed at myself when it comes down to it. For a while, when feeling at my worst, I try to push others away.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "you probably think I'm a fuckin loser"
    "what's the point it isn't going to help"
    "I really shouldn't be this worried about this"
    "I'm sure I'll manage alone I've done it for long enough"
    "don't blame you for not wanting to talk about the same old shit"
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    It is just a bullshit figment of my own imagination I've built up over such a long time and I can be rational about that when I don't feel like shit, the problem is that I've really believe it all and can't hellp that. If I could have my internal monolgue written to a screen through a computer that would be great... Because then I could smash it to fucking smithereens. XD
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    I keep getting emails about graduation and its proper stressing me out.  I havent even thought about what id say for speech. And they said we should write it down. Well tbh i was hoping id leave it til im there and see what others say and just make it up on the spot lol

    but my throat is proper killing me and my voice doesnt sound any different though. But thats probably cause usally start sounding different few days after it hurting. So im hoping by graduation my voice will change from this sore throat so it can cover up my nervous voice lol. Im glad i still have propranolol def going to take that on friday. 
    My throat really hurts though:'(. Or with any luck this sore throat will get so bad that i cant speak lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Clearly family are forcing themselves to go to graduation. (Only two spaces) I wanted my sisters to go. But my sister are like a parent "have" to go. And I'm just thinking why, don't even speak to them much. Then my dad is like oh I thought you'd want to go(said to my sister) my sister clearly doesn't want to go and was like no you "have" to go cause parent. Umm why does a parent have to go. We are not fucking happy family. 
    Dont fucking force yourself and feel like you "have" to go. Go cause you want to or don't go at all. Couldn't give a shit cause wouldn't mind going by myself. Then feeling like forced. Fml
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    https://twitter.com/TracyDowling10/status/1149685693981089793
    Why do this to me lol. Fml. I am the only one who is clearly not ready and about to sneeze lol fml 😭
    out of them all. I guess I have to be the one who looks bad
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Spam.
    Want ground to swallow me up. I'm tired of this. Yesterday I spoke a load of shit about how I'm looking forward to being a peer support worker and helping people with my lived experience of MH challenges. I'm not. I'm looking forward to dying. Maybe wouldn't of guessed it. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    It's okay to feel that way - look at the quote beneath your post, because it's extremely relevant. The peer support was a goal and a battle so that one day you might feel better, through accomplishments, helping others and structure. Feeling so low isn't an easy thing to fix but you've done well in trying, it's fine to have a bad day, but what you've already achieved certainly wasn't for nothing.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    Stupid shitting crisis , the reason I was discharged from hospital on Friday  was Becuase they said they’re ring me in the morning and Silésie surprise they never did and haven’t even rang me today , how am I meant to get through until my GP appointment on Thursday 🙄
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    @Millie2787

    Sending you some hugs, we are here for you :heart:
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Omg just trying to go home and some guy starts speaking to me asking me where I'm from I say england then he touches my face and I'm just thinking wtffff someone help and he goes like "too much white" then comparing his skin to mine. lol wtf. I actually do feel really unwell atm but lol I am just pale I tried to gradual tan the other day but clearly no differnce. Offended. Like why was that even nessacrly 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Shaunie said:
    Omg just trying to go home and some guy starts speaking to me asking me where I'm from I say england then he touches my face and I'm just thinking wtffff someone 
    Not gonna lie my reaction would of probably been punching him in the face 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    I'm a very bad owner. Teddy has pooed in the house twice this weekend. He hasn't done that for agessss. He's also still weeing in house sometimes. He needs better owner I cant deal with it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
     Apart from the caffeine or not wearing my glasses don't have glasses


    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Gradual tanning makes skin bit darker except all your self harm scars as white as anything. . So more obvious. So Now i don’t know. Why cant it tan scars. Weird
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Definitely sounds irritating @Shaunie . Don't do fake tan obviously :p but since I was an idiot and did it all on my forearms I have to wear long sleeves permanently 
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Maybe you can hide it with tattoos idk
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,787 Master Poster
    So much ******* graffiti in the girls toilets.And that is just 1 toilet. The walls are covered in wet toilet paper and have been all term. The dance toilets have bullying on and stuff about drugs. The art toilets are definitely the cleanest.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Artist's tend to prefer a canvas for their illustrations, no need for a toilet wall.
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