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I don’t know how to stop

L100L100 Fast NewbiePosts: 128 Boards Initiate
edited June 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
To briefley explain I don’t know why but  I keep going back into my old habits every time I see something that reminds myself of my past incidents for example bicycles remind me off when teenagers Harras me, phones/cameras from before I moved which is what caused me to stop doing photography. Every time I get reminded of a time I got harrased or bad issues with teenagers. I either get violent and end up commotion criminal damage (although I’ve negr been arrested or to court luckily) or if I manage to distract me  and not do that I have a habit of over eating or not control my diabetiees to just cope which is my way of self harming because I know it’s bad for my type 1 diabeties. (The only exception is I’m fine if it’s my own stuff like my own bike or camera etc) I don’t know whether this is related but People have notice I’m very quick reacting to hazards like most of the time I can get out of hazards but when I get asked what pisses me off I often avoid this subject and change it because otherwise I would get reminded of the physical events with teenagers and  also whenever I see police cars/vans even if I haven’t done anything I automatically go faster on my bike it’s my bodies automatic response 

I know I need to stop incase I end up making things worse for myself (doesn’t help that I’m also scared off summer holidays coming out due to the teenagers) but I just can’t help these thoughts which keep coming back. Another thing is I don’t get why i can’t stop thinking about these incidents 
Shaunie

Comments

  • JamJarJamJar Posts: 179 Super Moderator
    Hey @L100

    I'm sorry to hear how these different external objects/events are triggering quite significant anxiety for you. It is reassuring and hopeful to see how aware you are of all of these pressure points.

    You mentioned that you often avoid talking about what 'pisses you off' because you're afraid of being rushed back to those feelings you associate with your painful memories. 

    Do you feel like you have talked about all of these memories enough? It partly sounds like you are fighting them, that you don't want to confront them, and perhaps this suggests that there might be some unresolved issues there...? 

    Is there anyone close to you who you feel you would be able to talk to about the way you've been feeling recently? 

    I hope this response helps in one way or another. People care about you on the mix, and this message was written with only your best interests at heart <3
    Shaunie
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 9,278 Supreme Poster
    Hey. Its understandable to feel triggered by things that give you bad memory or avoid conversations you dont like, sounds really hard. Its really good youre thinking about it and how to change it all. - the first step to changing it is by becoming more self aware. 

    Have you tried relaxation techniques. They can help to calm down and feel less overwhelmed. 

    Have you got anyone else to talk to about this?  We are here for you too though. 
    if you have the strength to sustain anorexia you have the strength to overcome it
  • L100L100 Fast Newbie Posts: 128 Boards Initiate
    JamJar said:
    Hey @L100

    I'm sorry to hear how these different external objects/events are triggering quite significant anxiety for you. It is reassuring and hopeful to see how aware you are of all of these pressure points.

    You mentioned that you often avoid talking about what 'pisses you off' because you're afraid of being rushed back to those feelings you associate with your painful memories. 

    Do you feel like you have talked about all of these memories enough? It partly sounds like you are fighting them, that you don't want to confront them, and perhaps this suggests that there might be some unresolved issues there...? 

    Is there anyone close to you who you feel you would be able to talk to about the way you've been feeling recently? 

    I hope this response helps in one way or another. People care about you on the mix, and this message was written with only your best interests at heart <3
    Well i'm trying to distract myself by doing more things like rollerblading and sort of taking it out on my bike pedals (as well as being careful) I always used to be afraid i was outnumbered and that if things got serious no one would belief me due to outnumbered however recently i moved my bike camera to my helmet and it's always recording. (it was more for recording traffic) but however i've noticed where teenagers have been annoying in the past. The last time i saw them they didn't do anything so far touch wood. It's weird how much cameras can make a difference. I'm trying to avoid things that make me think about these things if that makes sense and i'm also comparing things to where i work. Like what i realise is if things happen don't afraid to ask for help as i have been before. Even when pedestrians ask if your ok.  It's like in work enviroments (Even though i dont work yet i do volunteering though) if anything happens, there's always someone you can turn too. 


    it's weird i also kind of realised that the other day that i spotted my old stolen bike locked up, i saw the rider go off on it (My helmet camera captured it with date and time) and and even though i have a new one. It was a area that had security. I was too afraid to talk to security in person however i went home posted on FB, to make my friends aware. Then i got a PM from someone who works in security and that if i spot it again to contact him or if he spots it he'll contact me. (i did recognize his profile pic as one of the security guys Weird how things turn out sometimes.)

    I am also currently talking to someone 
    Butterfly23
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