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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Been signed off for a bit  :'(
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,032 Boards Guru
    Hope you're okay Bubbles. Sending you a hug <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Wanna die so bad
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    .
    Post edited by Siena on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie I'm sorry you feel disgusting:( What he did to you is not your fault and it doesn't make you disgusting - it's his actions that are disgusting. I can only imagine what it feels like to have gone through that and to have to deal with the effects it's left:(

    Hugs <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Feel so bad omg. This is what hell would feel like. Will be going ther
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    Been feeling really down recently. Anxiety has been bad because of university and it's made me irritable. Had a bit of a breakdown today. Went for a walk to clear my head but I still feel really alone. Even little things are pushing me over the edge.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm getting sad again. For two whole days, I managed to stay on the slightly-better side of things. But now I feel like the hopelessness is trying to pull me back to the bottom. I can't stand the worser side. All I do is think about suicide and cry because I can feel hardly any hope and the pain is too much and I can't accomplish anything. All I can is keep fighting I guess. I actually need to stay afloat for longer because when I'm on the worser side, it's even harder to think about getting help, it's even harder to function - so I need to stay like this so that I can help myself and try to break the cycle. I need to keep on top. But it's so hard.

    It's not nice living at the mercy of your own mind :pensive:
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    edited April 2019
    So. Scared for the scan tomorrow :(
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Had a nap. Sad to be awake
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    So stressed about the scan today I’m really tempted not to go not even like I get the results today why did I even think that - ughhh im so tired of all of this :( just being so stupid 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Millie2787 said:
    So stressed about the scan today I’m really tempted not to go not even like I get the results today why did I even think that - ughhh im so tired of all of this :( just being so stupid 
    @Millie2787 Good luck buddy <3 Hugs x
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I am soooo so tired. No strength or will and feel weird lol. I'd like to just curl up and sleep now thanks.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I just had a nap. But am still exhausted and if anyone would like to come over and wrap me in a blanket that would be lovely lol.
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,795 Master Poster
    I have a massive fear of needles and I am supposed to have a jab next Friday. I won't even let my friend poke me with a pen. I also haven't had any jabs since I was 6 or blood tests since I was 9. I am just too scared. People have fainted and even died from the HPV jabs. No thanks. I really don't know how to distract myself during the jab. If I cry or get nervous (which I will) I will be laughed at again which I definitely do not want. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    AbigailAbigail Posts: 818 Part of The Mix Family
    edited April 2019
    Kasa2103 said:
    I have a massive fear of needles and I am supposed to have a jab next Friday. I won't even let my friend poke me with a pen. I also haven't had any jabs since I was 6 or blood tests since I was 9. I am just too scared. People have fainted and even died from the HPV jabs. No thanks. I really don't know how to distract myself during the jab. If I cry or get nervous (which I will) I will be laughed at again which I definitely do not want. 
    You might feel this way now but in years to come you will say thank God I had them jabs as the chance you get HPV is reduced. Needles are nothing to be scared about look away the thought is worse than doing. I have needles a lot and I'm fine never fainted or anything. It's just a stupid phobia. 
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
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    LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    edited April 2019
    Sorry to hear that @Kasa2103 *hugs*

    Ultimately it is your choice what you do but it's a good vaccine to have and it's safe these days, I've had plenty of friends have it and they're all fine.

    I missed my jabs as a youngen so I got them all in my teens except HPV.
    This is purely because it was too late, they stop giving them at 18(but you can pay up to 25 I think) I'll never be able to afford it and that sucks so if you really want it you can do it x

    Try looking away when it's happening, even have some headphones in and look at a picture, detail on wall etc. Just keep yourself distracted. 
    You could also if you wanted look at pictures or videos online to get used to it.

    I used to have a needle phobia but had loads of blood tests so eventually mastered my technique on what works for me.

    You can have it till 18 for free so if now is not the time you could always take some time to get yourself ready and go to your GP x


    Best wishes! 

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    I had a dream last night where I had to take Ruby to the vets. And she died while she was under their care. And then I hallucinated her and still cleaned her hutch out because I was sure she was still alive. And I couldn't stop crying. Horrible dream... It didn't really leave me upset when I woke up though, for some reason. But it does make me think even more... One day she'll die. I'll be forced to put her in a box and bury it underground. And she'll be gone. I'll never stroke her again. I'll never make a fuss over her while she pokes her nose curiously again. I'll no longer have to clean her out again. The list only goes on. It feels like I'll be too heartbroken to even cope when she dies. And I sound silly, especially seeing as death is natural and who knows when she'll even die. But it's just a horrible thought. And I'm fairly sure I'm a terrible pet carer and she's not having the life she deserves.

    Also, I'm still struggling and suffering. No surprise. But for a couple of days recently, I felt a tiny bit lighter and more hopeful. And I felt like I could see potential for a better life. But now I feel like I see... Nothing. And I'm back to feeling really tired and powerless and trapped. Idk. I'm just so depressed. Help me see the light and the point because it feels like it's nowhere, or at least that I can't feel it. I think my death's gonna be suicide (I'm safe right now, unfortunately for both of us).
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Love feeling like I’m nothing :( 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Ptw? Mentions Ed behavior but not going to do it? (Just to be safe) 

    My mam went out today and found a daim Easter Egg (my fav pre ed chocolate) apparently she's been hunting for it since she saw the ad on fb, she went into tons of shops and finally found it today... but I don't have the heart to tell her it ain't vegetarian, so I took it to my room to bin and now she's kinda upset cause she thinks I'm gonna b/p it. What do I do? 😔😔😔

    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    BubblesGoesBoo said:
    Ptw? Mentions Ed behavior but not going to do it? (Just to be safe) 

    My mam went out today and found a daim Easter Egg (my fav pre ed chocolate) apparently she's been hunting for it since she saw the ad on fb, she went into tons of shops and finally found it today... but I don't have the heart to tell her it ain't vegetarian, so I took it to my room to bin and now she's kinda upset cause she thinks I'm gonna b/p it. What do I do? 😔😔😔

    @BubblesGoesBoo
    I guess you tell her whatever would less upset her. And tbh telling her its not for vegetarians sounds less upsetting than thinking you might of binged purged it. But is up to you and im sure she will know how grateful you are of the thought and effort she went to - either way
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Abigail said:
    Kasa2103 said:

    You might feel this way now but in years to come you will say thank God I had them jabs as the chance you get HPV is reduced. Needles are nothing to be scared about look away the thought is worse than doing. I have needles a lot and I'm fine never fainted or anything. It's just a stupid phobia. 
    @Abigail
    oh wow
    Thats a lil bit de-validating & dismissive so couldnt help but reply. I dont mean to seem rude just saying my thoughts(may just be how ive read it)
     "Its just a stupid phobia". --- Phobias are very real and While it may seem like "just needles" And like you have been okay with it so why cant everyone else. -----but it can be a massive fear for some. 

    @Kasa2103 i hope you can rationalise your thoughts/fears and calm anxiety before you get your jab and realise the needle very most likely wont harm you - while HPV can. Maybe try some mindfulness or something before. Do you think?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'd seriously pay for you to help lol:((
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Kasa2103 said:
    I have a massive fear of needles and I am supposed to have a jab next Friday. I won't even let my friend poke me with a pen. I also haven't had any jabs since I was 6 or blood tests since I was 9. I am just too scared. People have fainted and even died from the HPV jabs. No thanks. I really don't know how to distract myself during the jab. If I cry or get nervous (which I will) I will be laughed at again which I definitely do not want. 
    @kasa2103 I know you’re scared but you have to think weather you’d much rather have a few seconds of discomfort or run the risk of getting HPV which can cause cervical cancer in the future . The nureses sit and talk to you all the way through and before you know its over and done with . You’re more likely to faint if you get yourself into a panic so you need  to keep yourself Calm. You made to sit on view of nurses anyway for 15/20 minutes so they can check your ok and if you do feel faint that’s find you get to lie with your legs on a chair which I found quite fun lol
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    kathleen0172 said:
    I'd seriously pay for you to help lol:((
    Hugs X
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    So i have been speaking to a lot more people i know recently.  About 4 old friends and they all wanna meet me and guess im juSt getting stressed out. Guess has excuse to say im busy with the training thing but then just asked to meet me after work on next Saturday and meeting one friend then. I just feel lot of stress in my life atm

    and this guy added me on facebook the other day. I recongised his face but didnt know from where so i accepted him anyway and he spoke to me. And i just generally replied back to him. And he goes like "hows work" i thought that was a general question. I just saidsomething like "yeah is pretty shit tbh but is what it is, wbu". Then he says yeah working at Spar is boring. Sooo then in my head im like ohhhhhhh ive spoken to you in spar after work so must if saw work in primark. But yeah i just pretended i knew him lol. But ive only seen him in the shop. Anyway that was a bit weird on how he found me on facebook cause still have no idea how he found me when ive never said more than two words to him let alone my name. 


    But anyway he started talking about his job and his old jobs & stuff & mentioned names of people i know. And he said he wants to get to know me & that i should go on a night out with him & his friends(some how know his friends from school). I mean that sounds good but idk im just basically sad that im too anxious to even reply to that message let alone actually go on night out with them. Wish was more sociable

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Had dream was being suffocated. Scared to go back to sleep. Dont want to see his face😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Today should of been the day I got to meet my handsome little nephew , Todays was his due date and now I’ll never get to meet him 😭😩
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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