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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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Comments

  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    Shaunie said:
    I seriously just can't cope anymore. Life is too impossible and hard. I really want it to stop and I want to kill myself.
    Hope you can keep your self safe? <3
    Sorry. Yeah, I hate to say it, but I guess. Thanks for caring <3
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm sooooo sorry. I'm having yet another outburst. I'll regret it in the morning. But I don't know how the hell to describe how I feel. I honestly just keep nearly saying "goodbye", or "I'm sorry, I just want to die now", 'cause nothing else seems to express this... this... WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS.

    Ugh I better get off now. I'm sorry for spamming this lovely place. I'm laughing at how ridiculous I'm probably sounding but take my word for it, this is horrible.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Wow. I'm just too much for everyone here I think. I'm beyond this site. Too bad for this site, not in enough danger for crisis messenger.

    I will shut it now.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I can't die but I really can't live. 

    All I've done today is panic and cry and think thoroughly about suicide. I feel so hopeless and powerless and distressed. And I couldn't see Ruby cause I was too upset but now I'm crying even more. 

    I can't take this anymore and there's just no point. Maybe just let me go. 

    (safe. Cause I don't want to hurt others. But that's the only thing keeping me here rn) 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Fml. I forgot about "back to work" thing. Because they have taken ages to do it so i completly forgot that happens after you take a day off lol. So i got called to the HR thinking oh shit what have i done wrong. Lol. But yeah was just back to work thing. 

    I just said i was off for my mental health and he said will it happen again.... i just said "hope not" lol. But then i had to write it down too and omg my hands was shaking from anxiety and i couldnt write properly and was most awkward thing ever. Writing Was a completel mess and Omgg. It felt like forever i was writing my signature. 
     How embarrassinggggg
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    😔 Things have just got a whole lot worse and I don’t have the engery  for all of this 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,740 Master Poster
    I keep on getting flashbacks after a traumatic event that happened 3 months ago. If I say what happened confidentiality will be broken which is the last thing I need.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    Sorry for all the moaning and requests for hugs lol...

    It feels like nothing is even meant for me. And that I'll never feel better. Idk I'm just struggling so much and everything's so hopeless.

    I'm ready to just sob until I'm severely dehydrated lol. I feel like just giving up and going to sleep.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Omg even the neighbourhood is going to get worried about me lol. 'Cause I'm not really going outside. In part because I feel really depressed and all that, and in part because I have no clothes for the warm weather... Lol. Which is a result of being so hopeless and depressed lol so it's hard to do anything about it.

    I'm soooo tired tonight. But I've been getting a bit scared of sleep. Nothing severe and idk why, but the idea of being unconscious has felt scary. I'm not myself. Okay, well, I probably am myself, sadly. I really hope that I have got depression or something, 'cause everything feels real and like it truly is hopeless. It's one of the things preventing me from seeing a doctor - what if my feelings are true, and my mind doesn't need fixing, and there's nothing that can be done?...:( If that makes any sense.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    So overwhelmed with everything and I really don’t know what to do 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    .
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Had such a horrible night , only feel asleep at 4 and ended up not feeling great 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm so scared and sad and hopeless. I really don't know how to cope. I'm barely hanging on - feels like it's off this very thin thread that never breaks. I'm so fucking distressed.

    Put me to sleep. I just want to escape. I don't think there's any life waiting for me and I can't take how I feel. It's like a brain-dead person hooked up to machinery to keep their heart going - there's no hope and it would be kinder to just let them go:( I'm so tired.

    (safe)
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,740 Master Poster
    edited April 2019
     I am thin but I feel really fat. I regularly skip meals. I look really ugly and I hate my body because I am tall, slim but have sort of fat legs. I feel scared of eating more than I do already because I don't want to see the numbers on the scales go up.  That would mean I have gained weight which is scary because I'll be fat and be uglier than I already am. I have measured my weight and bmi today. I think my bmi is underweight but is still not low enough. I want to lose weight but I don't know if it is a need or a want.

    Don't read if you get triggered about bmi or eating. 

    [edited by moderator]

    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    I keep forgetting everything and doing my head in now. 
    I know its normal to sometimes go into a room and forget why. But is it normal to do it about 3 times everyday. Swear feel like im getting early dementia. Im trying to remember what i was going to do but i don’t know 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    Idk if I've ever been in such a bad place. I mean I guess I've felt this bad before many times. But it's only really now that I've been feeling so desperate, maybe. I don't know.

    My grandmother invited me out with her tomorrow. And I had to decline. Due to the lack of clothes for warm weather and feeling ugly which is due to my horrible mental torment. And I also think I may just be too tired. My life is seriously in a state and I feel like there's nothing I can do lol.

    Suicidal:((
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Well the good news is, the pain is going to stop soon. Because things will get better, or I'll kill myself. It can't stay like this forever 'cause I won't survive.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Ugh. I had a tinsy bit more hope and calm this morning. But now the tears have come back and the hopelessness is even stronger again.

    Idek I just... can't live with this much longer.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    .
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Feel bad
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    😔 3 years since Nana went today and I miss her like mad. So overwhelmed with no one to talk to so if anyone wants to make the day skip over me please do 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    I miss being under services and my care co ordinator & miss the mix counselling already aswell as young womans trust and all ended and feel lonely. Rape crusis was suppose to ring me but didnt i emailed them but nothing. Well probably good job atm cause will be busy to even have conselling atm but am scared they dont want to give me any support 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    I miss being under services and my care co ordinator & miss the mix counselling already aswell as young womans trust and all ended and feel lonely. Rape crusis was suppose to ring me but didnt i emailed them but nothing. Well probably good job atm cause will be busy to even have conselling atm but am scared they dont want to give me any support 
    Hugs <3

    And I can't imagine anyone not wanting to give you support 'cause you're awesome.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    I think ive just realised what triggers me. And i feel so awful now😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    wish this pain would just do one, 3 weeks ive had this headache now and painkillers are doing fuck all :(
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Sending hugs everyone <3 xx
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,740 Master Poster
    Stomach hurts so much thanks to my period. Usually if I get cramps it isn't until the 2nd or 3rd day. I don't even have a hot water bottle or a cat in my room to massage my stomach. I don't know if sleep will happen. And I have dance, cheerleading and trampolining. How do I cope? All I want to do is curl up into a ball, stop my periods and cry.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
This discussion has been closed.