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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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Comments

  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,740 Master Poster
    I feel so stupid. For the past 2 nights I have cried myself to sleep. I have never felt that low at night even when my uncle died just under 3 years ago. Who else cries themselves to sleep? Even when I was watching YouTube on the TV and cuddling my teddy bears I was still crying until I got to sleep. :( I need a hug. I hope that I won't have a 3rd night of crying and rubbish sleep.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    :(( thanks but think am failing it lol. Did presentation was awful ahaha. Omgg. So much questions and group work proper stressful and veryyyyyyyy hard

    just want it over and to go home now aha 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie said:
    :(( thanks but think am failing it lol. Did presentation was awful ahaha. Omgg. So much questions and group work proper stressful and veryyyyyyyy hard

    just want it over and to go home now aha 
    Your doing amazing @shaunie we’re all so proud especially for doing the presentation ❤️
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    edited April 2019
    Shaunie said:
    :(( thanks but think am failing it lol. Did presentation was awful ahaha. Omgg. So much questions and group work proper stressful and veryyyyyyyy hard

    just want it over and to go home now aha 
    You're doing really well Shaunie. We're all really proud of you :) 
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Kasa2103 said:
    I feel so stupid. For the past 2 nights I have cried myself to sleep. I have never felt that low at night even when my uncle died just under 3 years ago. Who else cries themselves to sleep? Even when I was watching YouTube on the TV and cuddling my teddy bears I was still crying until I got to sleep. :( I need a hug. I hope that I won't have a 3rd night of crying and rubbish sleep.
    Hugs @Kasa2103 <3
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,740 Master Poster
    Kasa2103 said:
    I feel so stupid. For the past 2 nights I have cried myself to sleep. I have never felt that low at night even when my uncle died just under 3 years ago. Who else cries themselves to sleep? Even when I was watching YouTube on the TV and cuddling my teddy bears I was still crying until I got to sleep. :( I need a hug. I hope that I won't have a 3rd night of crying and rubbish sleep.
    Hugs @Kasa2103 <3
    Thanks so much. ❤
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I am actually kind of worried that she is going to start drinking again - it's something I've been slightly suspecting tbh. And as I briefly mentioned, for some reason my guesses always seem to be right lol. Not saying she will, but it's a bit of a worry of mine. Regardless, my mom is either having a breakdown or is getting back together with that asshole, both of which is even more pressure for me.

    On a (kind of) separate note, I just can't do this anymore:(( I really don't know how. I'm in so much pain. It feels too much. It really hurts.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm sorry. I need to get off of here before I start attacking people or threatening suicide or something lol. I'm really distressed. I honestly feel at breaking point at the moment.
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    edited April 2019
    Hey @kathleen0172 I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I just wanted to send you a hug and let you know we're here anytime you want to talk <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Why dosent anyone believe me I know someone watching me I know they are :( 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    :(. Why am i getting into habit of waking up exactlyyyy at 3:55am  So weird lol.

    Just woke up with bad thoughts that the peer support work training will say im not in my own recovery juorney mentally to help others:((((((. But i mean my care co ordinator was my refrence & always told her how suicidal i get but then i guess for a refrence they only ask things that give positive answers. Idk. But after the interview they said at the end if that was the case theyd be very honest about it but can work on your own recovery while doing the corse so guess can still do it - i hope - so dk why am thinking you cant://///. But i will just say i feel fine when asked any questions about my own mental health. 

    I mean they do say how finding meaning, purpose and hope is so important for recovery jounery and being a peer support worker would give me a lot more hope & is a veryy meaningful job
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Omgg im so excited. Got email saying the ID i need to bring for my enhanced DBS check for tomrrow. 

    But ive totally forgotten i need to make a wellness plan for myself omggggg

    anyone made a wellness plan before???

    edit. Shittt the email was sent yesterday so tomorrow is today:///
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,740 Master Poster
    @Shaunie I have never made one but here is a link of how to make one that might help you: https://m.wikihow.com/Create-a-Wellness-Plan
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Very helpful. Thank you @Kasa2103
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Aife said:
    Hey @kathleen0172 I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I just wanted to send you a hug and let you know we're here anytime you want to talk <3
    @Aife thanks, you're really sweet <3 I'm sorry - just struggling so much atm.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    It’s all my fault your not here anymore , i should of seen you were iller sooner :( 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Oh dear lol the excitement and shock of getting onto the peer support training is going and i am feeling veryyyyyyyyy overwhelmed😥😥😥😥
    gave in my ID for DBS but i also need to fill out some stuff incase my contact with the police come up on it and they want to be well aware just incase anything does. but the email i was sent isnt working 😥😥😥😥. I just really hope that ive harmed a police man will not come up on it 😥😥😥😰😥😥😥they know my contact with police i told them and they said it was for my mental health and shouldnt affect my place. But im scared incase it looks worse on paper or something. Like you know people make things sound bad with big words and all that. 

    ive also been given my time table for the training and it starts on the 29th -- even if my DBS hasnt came through and is 9 til 5 every week day and i am only used to working on weekends for 8 hours a week and im going to be doing this added to it! im going to be doing something everyday and i havent done anything more than 8 hours a week for years. Dk if can do this but really want to.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Found a balloon that matches my mood 🙃🙃🙃 


    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Well, as well as just struggling as always... My throat's been really painful today (technically yesterday). It's kind of funny, 'cause everything is just upsetting and hard and so the throat pain can help push me to tears - but that hurts my throat even further :/

    I'm kind of worried in case I'm getting a cold. I don't get them like you probably do lol. *PTW
    When I'm ill, my day consists of horrible throat pain, constantly sucking throat sweets to try to relieve the nausea and the throat pain, throwing up every hour, often feeling too ill to do anything but sit there (as in, can't even use my laptop), not able to spend time with Ruby 'cause of it... Thankfully, that really terrible part tends to only last a day or two. But then I'm stuck with: sore throat (still), tiredness, blocked nose that I have to blow every 5 seconds, maybe a hacking cough. Um... Yeah. You get the point. Being ill is not a fun experience for me. It makes me think of having my tonsils removed. So, hopefully I'm not getting a cold.


  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,740 Master Poster
    @BubblesGoesBoo *hugs* You are absolutely not a waste of blood and organs. You are an absolutely amazing person and you are loved. You have a point of being in the world. Please never think that you are a waste of blood or organs ever again.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Just burst out crying and don’t even know why 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Phoned my dad in a panic cause I saw tons of sirens going up to his part of the island and thought he had been in a car accident or something (thanks bpd) (he's safe) instead it's a potential bomb scare 🙃🙃🙃 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Kasa2103 said:
    @BubblesGoesBoo *hugs* You are absolutely not a waste of blood and organs. You are an absolutely amazing person and you are loved. You have a point of being in the world. Please never think that you are a waste of blood or organs ever again.
    Thanks 😊 guess I was just having a bad day  <3
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Hugggg xxx
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Sigh. I was doing a tiny tiny bit better earlier - it was more like loud and bad background music. Now it's even louder again.

    Maybe professional help is the only route I can really go down for things to get better. But I'm just too scared. Idek what to do. I just feel like suicide.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    edited April 2019
    So scared about so many things and don’t know who to turn to :( i feel so Lonely, no one likes me 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I seriously just can't cope anymore. Life is too impossible and hard. I really want it to stop and I want to kill myself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Idek what's wrong. But I really can't take it. I just want to knock myself unconscious.

    I took a quiz once and it said my death would be suicide. And tbh, I sort of agree. If things don't improve, I feel the chances of a suicide attempt are pretty high. I'm safe right now - but I don't like saying that because it makes me feel even worse (I wish I wasn't "safe").

    Can somebody tell me why I feel like this, and how the fuck to stop it??

    ^^maybe tw


  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    I seriously just can't cope anymore. Life is too impossible and hard. I really want it to stop and I want to kill myself.
    Hope you can keep your self safe? <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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