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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Oh thanks ! Just me then. Its make my eye pupils massiveee to so im like is it going to make me blind or something 🙃🙃scared. 

    But yeah is weird - its not in the way like everything is blurry & can not see - i can see but i feel like its not focused and my eyes wont focus. I mean feel a bit space out in my eyes but not mentally - physicaly in my eys. Making no sense now lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I think I'm gonna fuck off from here for a few days... :joy: I probably don't even deserve to be here idk. I'll be back on like Saturday.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    I think I'm gonna fuck off from here for a few days... :joy: I probably don't even deserve to be here idk. I'll be back on like Saturday.
    You do deserve to be here <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Just lonely. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭and sad.

    Post edited by Siena on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    The reason. Don’t go out anywhere for meals it’s becuase I always make a tit of myself . Today was smashing a pepper shaker onto the floor and then my sister started winding me up until mum told them to stop Becuase she knows I’ll go All meltdown 😭 can’t even go for a single meal out without messing something up 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    In so much pain this morning and hate having time off placement but I Litreally couldn’t get to the end of the road :(
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Just had like 12 hours sleep and i feel more tired. But im always happy to waste my days away. But i dreamt some fucked up things. I dreamt that when i was in primark and on my break i cut my hair to look like a boy lol wtf and then left work ahahah. 

    But then i dreamt i saw my sister get run over :(

    i think this floxetine is making me have dreams ://///////
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    I think I'm gonna fuck off from here for a few days... :joy: I probably don't even deserve to be here idk. I'll be back on like Saturday.
    You do deserve to be here <3
    Aww thanks @Shaunie <3 But I'm sure you'd think otherwise if you knew me!
  • NekolovesteaNekolovestea Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    Hey, I'm going to post something here and I'll not reply for the next three weeks probably because I'll be too tired to answer as always and I'm sorry about it. My ex girlfriend is on a school trip on another continent and I couldn't sleep yesterday because of it, I feel scared and stressed, I don't know why but imagining her so far away hurts a lot, and it's hard to keep dark thoughts away. I hope you all have a great day. Hugs <3.
    “You must see with eyes unclouded by hate. See the good in that which is evil, and the evil in that which is good. Pledge yourself to neither side, but vow instead to preserve the balance that exists between the two.” 
    -Hayao Miyazaki
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Today's not gonna be fun. I'm feeling really sad and hopeless right now.

    It feels like everything I try turns out wrong and that I'm trapped. I also feel I'm going nowhere and like I won't succeed in life. And that no one will ever care or like me.

    Why does there have to be things keeping me alive? I may just be better off dead. Maybe it will end the pain, and I'll be stopping my future instead of living a failed life if that makes any sense, and I'll stop failing and bothering others. I want to live... I'm trying to work it out and live... But I don't want to live with this pain. I don't want to live life with little contentment. I don't want to live an unsatisfying and failed life (which I feel I will).

    I feel so down and trapped.

    I said I was going to shut up so idek why I'm telling you this lol. I'm sorry. Try to have patience with me rn, I don't even know what I want or am looking for and I feel overwhelmed and confused and just horrible. I'll try to shut up after this post though.

  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    think is allowed

    I can't do this on my own and I want to stop thinking. Sounds weird but it feels like I have to talk or I have to take sleeping pills to knock me unconscious (which I can't do because I don't have them and I may also be slightly too scared to do that stuff). Maybe 'cause talking gives my mind something to do idk. But I want to stop thinking anyway. This really hurts like hell.


  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    OMG I’ve just sent a picture of my ultrasound appointment to my boss/youth worker instead of my mum 😭😂😭😂
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Another diagnosis and 2 new medications added to the list  :'(
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Think I'm dying lol. My chest is hurting when I laugh. Idk why.

    And I'm so distressed. Please help me. I just want someone to come make me feel better somehow lol. Any volunteers? Come wrap me up in a blanket lol. Ahah please:((
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,739 Master Poster
    Yesterday the male gymnastics coach that I had was so rude to me. He always takes his bad mood out on me and my friend during warm up by constantly moaning at us and separating us when we aren't even doing anything wrong. Today he was even making unkind comments about my speech just because I have an overbite. I told him to stop but he wouldn't listen and everyone in the group (including him and the female coach we had) were laughing. Nobody even understands how horrible it feels. And he was moaning at me for not doing a handstand flat back on the double mini trampoline. I didn't want to as I don't feel comfortable being near him due to his constant moaning. He pretended to care when I was using the bars by asking me what was wrong because I was getting upset easily. I politely told him that him and the group laughing at me for my speech and other stuff I do is the problem. He then lied to me on my next go when he said that everyone he spoke to said that they were laughing with me at the stuff. I did not find one of those things funny at all. After gymnastics I told my mum about what happened because I was upset and scared to go to gymnastics on 26th April. She was not happy about what happened so we went into the gym and I showed her which coach it was. I knew it would probably get a bit loud or take a while so I went to the lockers with my friend  (even though she was one of those laughing AT me.) I told her about how I had a good mind to either report that man or quit gymnastics. She begged me not to quit. A couple of minutes later I was ready to go so I went to meet my mum by the vending machine. I asked her what the coach said. She said that at first he lied about having anything to do with what happened. Eventually he told the truth about it and apologised. He probably only apologised because my mum and a senior coach (possibly even one of the welfare officers) was standing behind him. I know that this might sound stupid but I am now scared of going back to gymnastics after the holidays. I especially do not like the male gymnastics coach I have. Never liked him. Never will. I don't mind the female coach though because she helped me with my anger problems and learning 2 very hard skills. Usually I just have the female coach but as 2 more people joined the group we had to have an extra more experienced coach. I don't know who to talk to about it so I just decided to put it on here if that is ok. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    I just wish someone was there to listen 😔
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    I'm honestly ready to cry tbh. I'm in so much pain and distress. I don't think I'm going to succeed in life either.

    I'm crying for help. Like if this doesn't end soon and I don't find any new hope, I'm going to kill myself. This isn't a joke anymore (not that it ever was). I'm seriously desperate.
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,739 Master Poster

    Omg my friend is so annoying. I decided to tell her about The Mix because I thought that she would like it. Now she makes me feel scared of going back to group chat and the discussion boards. Now I will probably be in trouble because of what my friend told me to do (she told me to get her unfrozen even though she was rude to a mod.) 

    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    I have no one :( 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Sending hugs across the thread <3 xx
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Taking my night meds hours early in the hope I can sleep this feeling away 😓😓
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Hey, it's me again, I'm seeking attention and sympathy (which I don't deserve for various reasons), please please give, thank you. :/
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Hmm no sleep for mr tonight because I’m too scared someone’s watching me even though my blinds and curtains and shut so haven’t slept a wink

    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Omggggg im sooo scared for interview 😭😭😭😭😭😭feels important but trying not to stress myself so much but never been to a group interview. After this interview is you either dont get it or you get it & start the dbs checks stuff & training. & if dont get it then they dont even do the training often....years inbetween- to try again anytime soon😭
    but it is what it is i guess & just have to try 🙃
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie said:
    Omggggg im sooo scared for interview 😭😭😭😭😭😭feels important but trying not to stress myself so much but never been to a group interview. After this interview is you either dont get it or you get it & start the dbs checks stuff & training. & if dont get it then they dont even do the training often....years inbetween- to try again anytime soon😭
    but it is what it is i guess & just have to try 🙃
    Good luck @Shaunie your do amazing 💜
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you !! Waiting in room woth people qnd said will know by end of day omggg scaredd
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    Good luck today @Shaunie. You can do this <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    3 years ago today was the last time I spoke to Nana and got a response :( 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Thankyou Aife

    On break and omggg most stressful thing ever done. So many people
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • ItaliaItalia Posts: 220 Trailblazer
    Shaunie said:
    Omggggg im sooo scared for interview 😭😭😭😭😭😭feels important but trying not to stress myself so much but never been to a group interview. After this interview is you either dont get it or you get it & start the dbs checks stuff & training. & if dont get it then they dont even do the training often....years inbetween- to try again anytime soon😭
    but it is what it is i guess & just have to try 🙃
    Good Luck @Shaunie.  You will do great, just be your wonderful self. <3

    “People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.”
    -
    Brene Brown

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