How to support my friend who is self harming

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  Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster

  April 2019

  Hey @HazzyA
  

  
  

  I think it's so nice that you want to be there for her And it's positive that she's going to counselling - really hope she finds that helpful.
  

  
  

  I think one of the best things you can do for someone when they're struggling, is to well, be there for them:
  

  • Tell them that they can always talk to you when they're struggling or need to vent.

  • Be sympathetic and non-judgmental about the subject.
    

  • Constantly bringing up the subject or doing so in inappropriate places (such as in front of a group) can be overwhelming, but ignoring it can make people feel you don't care - so I think being somewhere in between by checking in and asking how they are, calmly and without pressure, is a great way to show support. And of course, if they start talking about it, listen and talk willingly.
  • Sometimes, they may want to just loosen up and have some fun for a little while. You could offer to just hang out and do some fun things (such as going to a park). But of course, you don't want to pressure them, so just casually suggest it and don't ask repeatedly, and don't do it when it feels like a bad time (like when they're upset).

  
  

  Those are just some rough tips. Tbh, you sound like a good friend, and you're probably already doing all the right things.

  
  

  How are you feeling about all this?
  

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  Siena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit

  April 2019

  HazzyA said:

   I feel like it's important for me to be there for her . 
  

  Just do this. 
  Sounds like youre a great friend

  “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

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  Stephanie Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl

  April 2019 edited April 2019

  Hey Hazzy, 
  
  Welcome to The Mix, 
  
  Just echo'ing what has already been said, it's also important to take care of yourself while supporting somebody who is self-harming, how are you doing?

                                 "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" - Albus Dumbledore 
  
  "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

  
  

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