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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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Comments

  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Thank you @Aife <3
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Ahhh still in so much pain this morning 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    My olddd best friend from my like secondary school started randomly ringing me today. Totally shit me up lol. 
    Was thinking - whys she ringing me - realise ive not replied to her messages from months ago from last year :(:///..... same with everyone. I can half see the message in which says "do you remember this from 2016" i want to reply but somethig stopping me. She will think im rude. But she still sending lots of "x"s on her messages some how - id of given up with me by this time- i think she knows something wrong with me and am depressed so iscolate myself without realising soemtimes
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Glad i opened the message. Made me smile with the photos and the videos she sent that we did together ahaha. I miss having a social life. She saying she doesnt think im rude but need to meet up. I just know this wont happen. Im so messed up
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Really wish this pain would go away 😭
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Help. Just help. Please please help. HELP. Heeeeelllpp. Thanks.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. WHAT. HELP:((((((
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Really struggling this week with feeling so anxious and low , I didn’t go to college today and I don’t think I can go to placement tomorrow or into college on Friday, which just means I get the joys of being told off for my attendance dropping again . Not my fault April is a really hard month for me 😭Not that anyone carers lol I just talk shit 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
     Well i just killed Sid.


     Sid is spider who only comes out at night and stays in the corner of the bathroom. So i thought okay youre not doing any harm ill leave you there if know only go there and stay there- tho fuck knows where you go for the rest of the day. I used to be so scared of spiders when younger that every room i went in i would l look at every wall checking for spiders before going in - so i put a lot of trust in Sid. 


    He's only gone and went near the toilet and not in his corner. So yeah i was like sorry Sid. Cant trust you anymore and youre going to have to die. 


    Well kinda feel bad now haha & my sister will be mad lol. And Will miss him when i go for a wee at night lol

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Hugs across the thread <3 xx 
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Have the doctors at ten past 3 about the pain and I’m dreading it 😥
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Good luck @Millie2787 x
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Can someone take the brain-pain away please? Just help me find the strength to live lol...
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Someone on my mental health awareness corse said they have a bug of sickness and diahree and probs best to sit further a way lol so i did but i really hate being near people who are sick and mentally makes me feel sick too just thinking about it. Idk how explain. But like when my sistees used to get ill - i would be ill too and i really dont think it was a physical thing i think its cause i think about having it so much and think about being ill and catching it so mentally that the anxiety makes me feel sick. I hope so cause i want to lose weight
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    I feel horrible. Just utterly sad, hopeless, exasperated, alone, and really trapped. Not to mention all these thoughts that won't go away and they're distressing me. I also feel paranoid (if you didn't see my post on the ranty thread, I feel a slight doomy and unwelcoming feeling, like everyone's angry at me or something).

    And I'm fantasising about death basically. I'm safe though. Not that anyone needs to know.

    Might just try to sleep. Actually I'm kinda desperate to. I was just googling ways to make yourself fall asleep lol. Bad coping mechanism and I doubt I'll succeed but...

    I just dk what to do and I feel so so so bad. To laugh or to cry is the question. Think I'll just go hysterical instead.

    I really kind of need to calm down but I can't. 'Cause my brain won't shut up. I'm not in crisis like I said but I feel really really really bad.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    edited April 2019
    I’m so tired of everything now and I’m weridly so scared about going in the tubes on the weekend 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    Oh my god, I feel kind of dramatic and like an attention-seeker:((

    For this minute I feel a bit calmer. I just spent some time drawing with a pen on my skin. Sounds weird but it had this grounding, soothing effect. Guess I better take note of that for next time.

    ...Yeah, I've still got all these horrible feelings and thoughts overwhelming me but I think it just got really bad for an hour or two... I'm a lil calmer now. Though my chest hurts a bit which is probably from stress. And I think I'm shaking a bit. Sounds mad but...

    I'm probably going to go write about stuff now 'cause I've got so many thoughts and feelings overwhelming me. (though don't worry, I'll do it in private so as not to annoy you all).
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Shaunie said:
     Well i just killed Sid.


     Sid is spider who only comes out at night and stays in the corner of the bathroom. So i thought okay youre not doing any harm ill leave you there if know only go there and stay there- tho fuck knows where you go for the rest of the day. I used to be so scared of spiders when younger that every room i went in i would l look at every wall checking for spiders before going in - so i put a lot of trust in Sid. 


    He's only gone and went near the toilet and not in his corner. So yeah i was like sorry Sid. Cant trust you anymore and youre going to have to die. 


    Well kinda feel bad now haha & my sister will be mad lol. And Will miss him when i go for a wee at night lol

    Well i saw nother spider today & totally scared shit out of me and killed it. Well now do feel bad. First Sid now some other one lol. Now parniod spiders everywhere so moved my bed away from the wall. - i dont think will even help me get away from spiders lol but maybe a bit. I dont think its spider season? Omg hTe that time of year
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    I hAve no money for anything and i owe my family about £200. Im not getting paid anytime soon and £200 is what i get paid every month. I need to also pay extra £50 a month to my dad.

    So if i do not kill myself from money stress. I will def stArve to def from lAck of food/ money😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Still drawing/writing on my skin in an attempt to keep the calm. It's honestly littered now. But skin has a way more calming and expressive feel to it than paper.

    Yeah, feels like I have physical symptoms. And I'm kind of scared it's a heart attack. It's not. But I've just been generally scared about my health lately. I keep feeling like I could have a heart attack and die any second. Idek why - maybe it's based around a feeling of stress and no control, god knows. And I have slight concerns about my heart - nothing urgent, just on and off concern for about a year. I was meant to have an ecg but was too uncomfortable - should go back really.

    Omg... I'm seriously so distressed.
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Does anyone else feel like they're paying catchup to their friends that don't have mental illnesses? yeahh, that's kinda how I feel right now and its getting me down...
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I really need a break :pensive: Wouldn't mind hugs either I guess lol.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Everything was my fault , it was my fault Albie and nana B died 😭 all my stupid fault ! 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Everything was my fault , it was my fault Albie and nana B died 😭 all my stupid fault ! 
    Aww Aimee, what makes you say that?:( It definitely wasn't your fault. Sending hugs <3
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Everything was my fault , it was my fault Albie and nana B died 😭 all my stupid fault ! 
    Aww Aimee, what makes you say that?:( It definitely wasn't your fault. Sending hugs <3
    It was , they were both all my fault , I stressed my sister out and didn’t spot soon enough that NaN was ill , so yes it was definitely my fault :(
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Everything was my fault , it was my fault Albie and nana B died 😭 all my stupid fault ! 
    Aww Aimee, what makes you say that?:( It definitely wasn't your fault. Sending hugs <3
    It was , they were both all my fault , I stressed my sister out and didn’t spot soon enough that NaN was ill , so yes it was definitely my fault :(
    Oh, I'm really sorry that's how you feel <3 But I promise, it wasn't your fault at all. You couldn't exactly have known that your nan was ill, and even if you did, I'm not sure there was anything you could've done. And stressing your sister out has nothing to do with Albie, if anything, it was coincidence.

    It's too easy to blame ourselves for this stuff, and look for even the smallest of things we could've done wrong. I've always blamed myself for Abby(my other guinea pig)'s death. But you're not at fault buddy <3
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    Nahhh everything’s my fault

    but just ignore me looking for attention as usual 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Nahhh everything’s my fault

    but just ignore me looking for attention as usual 
    Not gonna ignore you. And even if you were just looking for attention, you deserve it and there's nothing wrong with wanting it, right? xx
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Omg i feel awful. I feel too anxious to meet my friend and if this is going to be my life and how i cope with things id rather be dead. Never going to get better life
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    I will never get a better life. Never will have friends or end up with my own family. I will never have a beter job and will never feel better. 

    I really wish i was dead & i really want to know what happens if i was to kill myself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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