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Unpleasant responses from discussion boards

sozforhappysozforhappy Deactivated Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
edited March 2019 in Help Desk
I really dont like how some people response to my problems on the message boards, especially the pretty big ones. They criticise and tell me whats what, like saying “your parents are the ones who raised and cherished and they will always pick you up when you fall and you must see them as people" or “you should be grateful for a family." Or they say stuff against me like "you're living under their roof so you have to obey their rules regardless of how old you are." They dont consider my emotions or help me actually stop the person or things thats annoying me. Its like theyre saying im the problem and telling me off for ranting. Never mind if people having worse than me, i want all my problems to stop asap! And why are they people who do loads for you are the most horrible people, as if I chose them for parents! Why should I be grateful when they're so horrible, it's hateful to be grateful! It's not about how someone is, it's no excuse for how they treat me, and they don't treat me like people by harsh disciplining me. Or they say things against me like "you'll feel lonely living alone". I don't care about loneliness and isolation at all, as long as there's no one being mean to me and setting boundaries and rules against me! When i rant off about my problems you're not meant to bother about agreeing or disagreeing or agreeing with who or whatever I'm angry with or tell me that's just how it is or I'm being too sensitive and overreacting but go against what's annoying me instead of going against me and imagine being in my shoes since im the victim. and no giving reasons why they treat me how they do. i dont care about why, the “why" just makes the situation carry on and makes it feel like its my fault. or telling me I'll do the same mean annoying things when I'm older like to imagine being a parent myself and i should treat mine the way i want my kids to treat me. i am NEVER EVER becoming a parent! 

[edited by moderator]
Post edited by TheMix on

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    I aint no mod lol so i hope users can still answer these ah

    but People have their own opinion on things which you have to consider while posting - it is a public forum and we cant pick and choose what people say - esp in good terms unless its done in a horrible way then yeah but if you dont want peoples opinions then maybe you need a different type of support. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    edited March 2019
    Hey @sozforhappy

    i just thought I’d let you know if you ever wanted report or “flag” anything to The Mix team if you think it’s broke the guidelines in the corner of each message there is a “flag” option and if you click on that and click report your get a option like this for you to fill in you can also add a comment in the notes section if it’s the other option you’ve chosen or it’d there’s a particular bit that’s upset you and then send it off and it brings it to the attention of Aife, Mike, Italia or Ed on the Mix team who can deal with it when they pick it up 😊 just means they might see it quicker then a post on here as you can imagine they have slot of posts to go through - you can also tag them in a comment the same way you did with the moderator which can also bring something to there attention aswell .

    Hope this helps 

    [edited by moderator]

    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Sorry tho i dont agree with what @Millie2787 just said. You cant flag every comment you disagree with. - the comments are fine and not exactly horrible and just views in which people are saying. Maybe write down your feelings if you dont want someone to reply

    There is also ranting thread - which we read but wont reply - in terms advice. Or the "i need a hug thread" 

    https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/comment/3603545#Comment_3603545

    https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/comment/3603498#Comment_3603498

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    Ahhh @shauine I didn’t mean it as that - tbh I don’t realky know what I meant 🤦🏻‍♀️ Though I have just edited it to say “if you think it breaks the guidelines “ 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Okay, this is going to get removed, and The Mix will hate me if they don't already.

    @sozforhappy, I don't want to be mean or argumentative. But is this necessary? Please don't be so rude. People here are just trying to help you. I'm sorry if we're making you feel worse.

    You've mentioned how people are supposed to be "counselling" - in case you're not aware, no one here are really professionals. We're just people, like you.

    I won't say anymore or get into any arguments 'cause it's pointless.

    All this being said, you do sound very frustrated and I wanted to tell you, feel free to PM me if you want to vent.

    <3


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    TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,040 Boards Guru
    Hey @sozforhappy,

    I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling about the responses from the moderators here. It's important you feel supported and listened to so we're here to listen to any feedback you might have. I've closed this discussion for now as it's best to have these conversations with us privately via private message. 

    I've just sent you a private message now so we can continue this conversation over there :) 

    - Aife
    We're @Aife, @Ella, @Gemma, and @JustV - the staff team here at The Mix.

    Our DMs are monitored Monday - Friday (10am - 5pm) with limited cover on weekends. We have a great team of moderators looking after the community outside of those hours to check in on any reported posts.

    We're not able to provide support on this account. If you need support urgently for any reason, please call 999, go to your nearest A&E or contact Crisis Messenger by texting THEMIX to 85258.
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