Post of the month - December

Hey Sholay,

After 18, there's still a development of experience and skills and character that continues even if most of the physical development has stopped. It happens through your whole life. As someone mentioned earlier, children reliant on adoption services are often already put through a lot and are very vulnerable, so there has to be caution and services have to know a person is mature enough to make that decision and that they are willing to, and most importantly able to, follow it through in the long run. Age itself doesn't equal maturity, but I'll try and explain this later and why it can seem like it does.

Frankly, an 18 year old is less capable of thinking to the future, and foresight, and making long term decisions, than a 21 year old- even if there doesn't seem to be a huge difference in years. It's to do with the brain still developing and changing til even up to 25, and the experiences in that time making you wiser. 

I hope this helps to explain the idea that although you can be an adult, there a certain things that you can be not adult enough for, and you can become more adult (although age itself has nothing to do with it, it's often to do with experience and as this takes a lot of time an older person just generally has more experience than a younger person). For this particular example (adoption) an age restriction of 21 does make more sense than 18, even if at 16 or younger you could have a child of your own- but these are different circumstances and have different aspects.

Again, it may have to with some legal aspects of adoption, but, again, I couldn't go into this as I'm no expert.

As I said before, is there a reason adoption is an problem for you at the minute and is there anything else you want to talk about? It seems there are some things that trouble you, and it might be helpful to talk them through.

It grows late so I doubt I'll reply again tonight, but take care 

Aidan

Hey


i used to have a stutter when anxious. And quite pleased that it’s not even noticeable now and does get easier. 

I understand the frustration of someone trying to finish your sentance. They think they’re trying to help. But sometimes for ourselves it’s feels really important to say what we want to say ourselves without someone assuming and predicting what we are saying. - something I think someone will understand if you explain that to them - as it will also help with your confidence too. They may think they’re taking the pressure of you - which sometimes felt like the case for me but rest of the times it was annoying. 

I think explaining to them how you appreciate that they may be trying to help but explain to them why you’d rather them to not - and they may understand.  And also being completly honest to them may make you feel less nervous and less stressed and maybe you’d feel less pressure to finished your sentences quickly before someone else does - which is only going to make it worse. 

Hope makes sense 

Hey dude, 

I'm really sorry about everything. It sounds like you've been really struggling. Afraid I don't have a lot of advice, but I'm listening and I empathise/sympathise  

It sounds tough right now, but I think the future has good things for you. And I think one day you'll have a healthy and great relationship. Would you say you're feeling really lonely? 

Do you want to talk more about your suicidal feelings? Fine if not of course, just remember your life matters. 

And I'm 14 too so I won't give you the "too young" crap ha. Best wishes x