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Get scared of school aged teenagers and going into town

L100L100 Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
edited November 2018 in Health & Wellbeing
Well this is awkard. Whenever i'm in town and see teens. Those teens obvisouly know the teens that harrased me from before i moved and when i saw them in town. Because whenever i'm around school aged teenagers whether in town (Mostly town centre) They always say rude things to do with that and mentioning rude things about my dissability which offends me. 

Also i have this thing whenever something happens i end up doing something stupid as every time i see teenagers. to be honest i get fearful of them ever since the harrasing incident. But the next day or couple of days after whenever i see teenagers i end up kicking stuff like bikes or veichles around and then pedestrians, other cyclists or security ends up calling police.  It gets worse when random pedestrians or authority get involved.  Some teens did it back to mine and my bikes been damaged since tuesday because of this.

But the weird thing is during volunteering or at college or with friends i never do anything stupid. It's ussually the journey too or from places.    Although yesterday i almost lost it during voluntering at lunch when the voluntters and staff were talking about incidents and police.  But i ended up not doing anything stupid.

I also find it hard to tell authority.  As having lived in different countries before 2010 the laws all slien ghtly different in different countries and also hasn't helped that in childhood i never really saw police around. So if police get involved. I'm just scared saying the wrong things or just scared of admitting things. It\s not helpful that i go quiet in front of them but it's just i can't seem to say anything. (i've always been like this) 

I also get scared everytime i have to go into town now and am avoiding applying for jobs in that area because if i get recgonized or staff have seen that happened  it's probably ruined my chance.

I dunno what to do?

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Heyy

    sorry that happened. Sad to hear about your harrassment incident:(
    do you have any support or anyone you can feel you can turn to? Though this site is a great place to share. 

    Have you found anyway that helps you calm down - to aviod doing things like kicking stuff around you?

    take care
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • L100L100 Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    Shaunie said:
    Heyy

    sorry that happened. Sad to hear about your harrassment incident:(
    do you have any support or anyone you can feel you can turn to? Though this site is a great place to share. 

    Have you found anyway that helps you calm down - to aviod doing things like kicking stuff around you?

    take care
    The only people i feel comfertable talking to is my mum and head of deparment at my volunteering.  I told my mum and she didn't say anything.     THe harrasement was before i moved but since any teenagers just say rude things about my  dissabilities or stuff to do back when those teens harrased me. So it seems like they all know each other and i just can't help myself doing as whenever i see teenagers on bikes. It just reminds me of those incidents .   and when strangers try to help or security get involved i find it awkard as  i'm not going to reveal my conditions to strangers. 
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,288 Part of The Furniture
    edited November 2018
    Cool to see you posting @L100. :) 

    Particularly if these people are hitting personal chords with you about your disability, it's understandable to have this kind of reaction. It's healthy to be recognising the issues with it as you've described (applying for work in the area, security being involved, etc), but it's probably fair to say this isn't an unreasonable reaction if you're continually being provoked in such a personal way.

    I can see your predicament with not feeling confident telling the police. In terms of actually putting a stop to the harassment you're experiencing now, it's worth considering that talking to the police is probably the only way to make that happen. Would it help to take someone along with you to talk to them? Whether that's your mum who you mentioned you've told already, or someone else you'd feel comfortable telling for the sake of going to the authorities.

    You could even tell them that you're worried about saying the wrong things, and I imagine they'd be more than happy to provide some clarification around that and guide you through the conversation. They're there to help, at the end of the day.

    You deserve support for the emotional impact of this happening, too. Is it fair to say that the initial incident that happened a while ago is still weighing on you? Therapy or counselling can help unpack past experiences like that and help us live with or overcome these ripple effects.

    People can really suck sometimes and it's rubbish that you have to put up with this, but hopefully we can find a way to make things a little bit easier. :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,826 Extreme Poster
    Hey L100,

    That must be terrifying - I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. 

    I'd agree with the therapy/counselling - if there's little you can do about the situation, then atleast having some kind of outlet helps you to process it. It's not a nice situation, but if there isn't much else that you can do to calm you down, and there's little alternative in terms of transport, then that might be the best thing to do for nowx

    Much love <3
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  • L100L100 Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    edited December 2018
    Thanks guys.  I just don't want anyhting bad happening just before christmas as that's what seems to be working for me. I haven't been reminded since last time police got involved. distracting myself with christmas coming up. 

    or mabye because i have seen less teens around lol  mabye their too busy wtih christmas stuff to  annoy me :D
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