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Will I regret blocking him out my life?

Stars2Stars2 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
in Sex & Relationships
Hey 
I have friends with this guy for a few years now. He has a girlfriend who he has a daughter with. And he brought her to my place a few times to have a chat and get away. Means get away from his gf. He says that she doesn't care about him anymore. Anyway, the other day he messaged me out blue saying we need to talk about our feelings for each other. 
I was shocked and oblivious. So I said I don't have feelings for you I think of you as a brother 😟.
Anyway. He still messages me all the time. But I am so freaked out by what he said that I want to block him out my life. He has other friends so I don't feel so bad. I just find it gross that he likes my pictures and things still. 
I thought all this time we could be friends but hes ruined it. 
Its been a week ans half now and I don't feel anything apart from wanting to end the friendship 

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    peachysoopeachysoo Posts: 151 Helping Hand
    Hey stars2,

    It’s completely okay for you to feel as you are in response to this situation; in fact, I think it’s quite a normal response to feel a bit apprehensive with things changing so quickly and suddenly!

    I can see that you have already discussed your relationship with him, and have tried to clarify that you don’t feel anything more than sibling-like love, so well done! It’s really important to try communicate and establish the truth, though I can understand it must be really frustrating and maybe even a bit scary that he still likes your posts and interacts with you in that sense.

    I think that I can personally understand where this fear might come from, especially as you’re all the more aware of how he may feel about you. But I don’t think it’s best to try and immediately block him out of your life as a result this; it can be easy to let our fears and emotions almost control us. Emotional reasoning may lead us to believe things that aren’t necessarily set in stone. I believe that this situation could be better dealt with and fully resolved if you sat down to talk, face-to-face preferably (but if this is too difficult, then through messaging apps) about not feeling so comfortable with staying in contact like this, or clarifying how he definitely feels. It might be that he’s going through a rough patch in his relationship with his girlfriend and just wants some support in this time. Regardless, you shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable, and, ultimately, you should put your comfort and personal safety first, if this does mean putting an end to your friendship.

    -peachysop
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited October 2018
    Hey

    sounds like a hard situation. But think you need to tell him about what makes you feel uncomfortable aswell. - like him constantly messaging. - If you havent already told him. He should be respectful of that. 

    Guess is hard as you may not see him the same way now. And then him having feelings but not be able to do anything with it. So unless he finds a way to get over you then i guess him staying in that friendship maybe hard for him. Aswell as for you

    But ultimately i think you should do what makes you feel comfortable and what you think is best.
    You ask if you will regret blocking him out of your life. But whos to say you cant ever get that friendship back in the future even if you do.   Maybe even some time away from each other may help. 

    Post edited by Siena on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Stars2Stars2 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    Thank you for replying.
    I do feel it best to have a break.
    I did feel he was also too flirty with me when we weee hanging out. Such a following me around, touching me, getting too near my face and being quite arrogant. 
    I even put up a status about friendship/kindness being mistaken for flirting and he put a laughing face at it. 
    I have not deleted him off that but I have blocked gim from seeing future posts.
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