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I don’t know what to think.
wallflower116
Posts: 1 Just got here
I’ve been seeing somebody I work with and we get along well. He’s a bit handsy sometimes but I’m less handsy than most so I thought it was normal tbh.
We text all the time and speak on the phone and there is moments where it is really cute.
we have slept together twice before.
my question is this today in work before customers were in the doors were still locked so you can set up. He touched me in my personal area (sorry trying to word tastefully) I kinda laughed it off but he was like tell me to stop, I felt uncomfortable and he was like one more minute. So after however many minutes passed it went back to laughing and joking and he was like oh you don’t mind do you and flirting and all that, but I did mind, I did entirely mind but he’s above me in work and maybe I’m reading too much into it. I’m very confused about it all, working again alone tomorrow before customers come 😩.
We text all the time and speak on the phone and there is moments where it is really cute.
we have slept together twice before.
my question is this today in work before customers were in the doors were still locked so you can set up. He touched me in my personal area (sorry trying to word tastefully) I kinda laughed it off but he was like tell me to stop, I felt uncomfortable and he was like one more minute. So after however many minutes passed it went back to laughing and joking and he was like oh you don’t mind do you and flirting and all that, but I did mind, I did entirely mind but he’s above me in work and maybe I’m reading too much into it. I’m very confused about it all, working again alone tomorrow before customers come 😩.
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Comments
Sounds like you are in a confusing and tough place right now, we are here to help and advice you all we can. Plus, the Mix is a very friendly place so you can feel safe and chat to anyone here whenever you like.
If you like him then you chould calmly explain that you don't want him to do that again, how it made you feel uncomfortable. If he does it again push his hand away and tell him that touching you there without permission is sexual harrasment. It doesn't matter if you have slept together, everyone has personal boundaries and he should respect yours more. After all, touching anyone inappropriately, no matter your relationship, is groaping.
You mentioned that he is above you at work, don't let that prevent you from speaking up. If you are fired you can demand a reason why. You can also report his actions as sexual harassment any time you want, no matter what work place you are in. Just because someone works above you doesn't mean they own you and they defiantly shouldn't be touching there you without permission.
If you don't like how hansy he is you should let him know, if he respects your boundaries he won't do it again. But if you warn him and he keeps making you feel this way then perhaps the relationship is becoming unhealthy, you can try to talk it out or move on. It can be hard, but try to do whats best for your wellbeing, even if it means reporting him to a member of staff higher than both of you. If you get to the point where you are scared to work or can't relax there, you can always call your works head office and report his actions over the phone plus you could ask your name not be involved.
Sexual harassment in the work place is taken seriously and fixed quickly as managers don't want the stores to have a bad reputation. The fact you have slept together doesn't change the way he made you feel at work.
How are you feeling about working tomorrow? if you don't want to work with him then you could ring work up and let them know what happened.
Hope you’re able to stay safe & please look after yourself. You don’t deserve your boundaries being overtaken if it’s not comfortable . Deserve more respect so don’t be afraid to speak up, even if he’s above you at work.
Take care & hope you’re okay