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My job stresses me out when I'm not even there

TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 187 Helping Hand
Hello everyone. I would really appreciate any comments I get on this. I think I just need to get this off my chest.

I've been working in a fast food restaurant for two years. I used to only work weekends but in the past year or so I've started working full time during the holidays. It's the only paid work I've ever had. 

The job wasn't so bad at first, other than the fact that I was nervous because I was knew and because one of the managers that worked there at the time wasn't very nice. It didn't matter that I didn't know how to do anything because I was new and I always had a manager or a crew trainer or someone making sure I was doing okay. 

However, things started to go downhill because I never really had the time to complete all of the extra training that I was meant to do online when I wasn't working. Since starting this job I have gone through the stress of finishing my A-levels, moving away from home, and getting through my first year of university. I basically still feel as though I know a lot less than the other people who work there. I often finish my work day feeling humiliated or stupid. There are only a couple of things that I feel confident doing, so I don't get moved around that much and tend to get stuck doing the same things for hours for days in a row.

I'm lucky to have a job where I can work during the holidays and stop while I'm at university, but arranging the times when I can start working again requires a lot of planning because I don't usually know what I'm going to be doing months in advance. The system that I'm meant to use to update my availability barely works, so I often have to spend ages messaging different managers when they start asking me to come back to work so that they can update it on their end,but the manager I'm talking to now keeps asking even though I've told her the times I can work. 

I have at least until the end of the week off but I've been dreading going back since before I even came home from uni because my job is so bad for my mental health but I don't really have the option to quit or change anything in my current situation. 

Comments

  • RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi TheAprilFool.

    I think it's perfectly natural to feel stressed out by your job, work can be very stressful for anyone and especially when you're trying to juggle university at the same time. What you might find helpful is trying to get plenty of emotional support from your friends and family around you so that going back to work isn't quite so draining.

    Another option that might help would be to try and talk to your superiors at work clearly about what you're struggling with and if they can help you at all. Even if they aren't able to help you directly it might be helpful just to get everything out in the open.

    The last thing I'll suggest is if you're really struggling with your work you might even want to consider looking for a new job to switch to. Although I know looking for work can be just as stressful and time consuming as anything else it might be worth looking into some other options. You also mentioned that you're going back to work at the end of the week, have you started back at work already? Be sure to check in with us and let us know how you're doing! :)

    - Riley
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Heya @TheAprilFool

    You have done well to stay for 2 years. Can imagine the stress of any fast food restraunt. And to stay is great in itself. Esp if its Mcdonals ah. 

    Isnt finding a new job while youre still at this one an option? I know that may sound more stressful than your current situation. But you have done it once so can again & may find somewhere more manageable.  Your mental health is so important and sometimes its really not worth to stay if its that bad. Know is hard though - Ive been working in same retail shop weekend work for two years, its so draining & completly hate it,yet i stay.  

    But eventhough youre not new it is still completely okay to ask other staff member or mangers if youre unsure on things. Even if it sounds silly, theyd prefer you to ask. I always ask other staff member if i dont know, sometimes i ask the most simple things but sometimes it gets stressful in those enviorments & mind can go blank. And can be lot of stuff to remember. 

    It sounds like youre probably doing better than you think. And really trying esp with trying to tell mangers ect.  As well as dealing with everything outside of work too. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    Riley said:
    Hi TheAprilFool.

    I think it's perfectly natural to feel stressed out by your job, work can be very stressful for anyone and especially when you're trying to juggle university at the same time. What you might find helpful is trying to get plenty of emotional support from your friends and family around you so that going back to work isn't quite so draining.

    Another option that might help would be to try and talk to your superiors at work clearly about what you're struggling with and if they can help you at all. Even if they aren't able to help you directly it might be helpful just to get everything out in the open.

    The last thing I'll suggest is if you're really struggling with your work you might even want to consider looking for a new job to switch to. Although I know looking for work can be just as stressful and time consuming as anything else it might be worth looking into some other options. You also mentioned that you're going back to work at the end of the week, have you started back at work already? Be sure to check in with us and let us know how you're doing! :)

    - Riley
    Hey @Riley
    Thanks for taking the time to reply. I'm still trying to work on being more open about my feelings with my friends and family. I just don't feel like they really take me seriously a lot of the time. I guess they just don't know how bad I really feel. 

    I've already brought up certain issues with the managers and crew trainers. They know that I get stuck at the same stations all the time, and that I haven't completed all of the training because I've had to prioritise other things. I once cried in front of a crew trainer and told her all about how a co-worker was trying to train me by physically forcing my hand, and she told me that I needed to understand that they were just frustrated that I wasn't working fast enough. There are lots of things I don't tell them, and I know that there are things that I could be doing better, but I still don't feel like it should have gotten to this point.

    I think that I might at least start looking at other jobs, although I probably won't end up applying for any. I feel like quitting all the time but at the same time I think that I'd feel like a failure if I quit before I really had to. 

    I got my schedule on Sunday. All I have this week is a six hour shift on Thursday. I'm glad I don't have any more shifts this week.

    Sorry it took me so long to reply. I missed some notifications.
  • TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    Shaunie said:
    Heya @TheAprilFool

    You have done well to stay for 2 years. Can imagine the stress of any fast food restraunt. And to stay is great in itself. Esp if its Mcdonals ah. 

    Isnt finding a new job while youre still at this one an option? I know that may sound more stressful than your current situation. But you have done it once so can again & may find somewhere more manageable.  Your mental health is so important and sometimes its really not worth to stay if its that bad. Know is hard though - Ive been working in same retail shop weekend work for two years, its so draining & completly hate it,yet i stay.  

    But eventhough youre not new it is still completely okay to ask other staff member or mangers if youre unsure on things. Even if it sounds silly, theyd prefer you to ask. I always ask other staff member if i dont know, sometimes i ask the most simple things but sometimes it gets stressful in those enviorments & mind can go blank. And can be lot of stuff to remember. 

    It sounds like youre probably doing better than you think. And really trying esp with trying to tell mangers ect.  As well as dealing with everything outside of work too. 
    Hi @Shaunie
    Thanks for the advice. 

    I don't know how I've managed to stay at my job for this long. Maybe it's just because I never seriously considered quitting. I do work at McDonald's, which isn't the worse job, but there are definitely a lot of things that I'm not happy about. 

    I could find a new job while I'm still at this one, but I'd probably struggle to find one that's as flexible that I could fit around uni. I have considered getting another job, and I think I'll go and look into some soon, but I don't think that I'd actually switch unless the new job was more interesting or relevant to my  career. I imagine I'd have similar issues with any job I get. Well done for working in retail for so long, I bet that's another job that gets really hectic. 

    I always ask when I need to know something, as the only alternative would be to wander around doing nothing when someone gives me a job to do. The problem is that I need to ask too often, and I'm pretty sure my colleagues talk about me behind my back. I've heard people talk about how slow I am and how annoying it is that I can't complete certain tasks. 

    I really hope I'm doing better than I think I am. Sorry if it took me a while to get back to you.
  • RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey again TheAprilFool, thanks for keeping us updated. You said that you had a six hour shift yesterday, how did it go? Are you still struggling with the same kind of things? I know it must be worrying to think about quitting your job or that you're "giving up" as you said but keep in mind there's nothing wrong with just looking around at available jobs to see if anything catches your eye. :)

    As I said before be sure to keep us up to date with how you're doing and if there's anything we can do to help! There's a lot of great resources online for looking at job listings or career prospects so let me know if you'd like some links.

    - Riley
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    I understand. That Can all feel stressful sometimes. 

    -Remember to look after yourself & self care though. And keep us update on this situation if youd like. Here if wanna talk it through!

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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