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  • emilyjohnemilyjohn Posts: 23 Boards Initiate
    Welcome Abigail ! I'm new on this forum sounds like things are difficult Self soothe is a good idea or mindfulness? I hope things may be resolve day by day.
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,610 Legendary Poster
    Hey @Abigail ,

    Just checking in - how are you doing?

    Eleanor
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @independent_

    ​I am slowly getting better, just fighting with my body as I need to get college work.
    ​Thank you for checking up on me.

    ​How are you?

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • RhysRhys Posts: 288 The Mix Regular
    Hey @Abigail How're you doing today?

    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”― Bernard M. Baruch
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Rhys

    I am not to great ... i feel like im spending more time reassuring people i am ok when really i am lying i am not great ... i am fighting a never ending battle.

    Sorry

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Abigail More than you realise. Really. :)
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    Hey Abi,

    I'm really sorry to hear that you're not doing great. Would you like to tell us a bit more about what's going on?

    All the best,

    - Aife
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Aife

    ​Sorry for only just getting round to responding to you.

    ​I have feel like I keep having to prove to people I am ok when I am really physically and mental unwell at the moment. It a repeat of last years, self-harm thoughts, feeling worthless all that, some thoughts acted upon others not.This year the only differences is I have a small close network to support me, sometimes is what I need and sometimes I just need to work things out on my own.

    ​Can I just say, when am I ever the type of person who would cross stitch instead on my phone instead of talking to you lot? ... I am never that type of person.

    Sorry

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    Hi Abi,

    How are you doing at the moment? It sounds like some of these thoughts have been hard to cope with. You have spoken about pretending that your ok when actually your not very well is there any reason you feel that you need to do this?

    Well done for being open about what's happening at the moment and it can be great when you find new things which you are interested in.

    Keep Going
    Rayofhope
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Rayofhope wrote: »
    Hi Abi,

    How are you doing at the moment? It sounds like some of these thoughts have been hard to cope with. You have spoken about pretending that your ok when actually your not very well is there any reason you feel that you need to do this?

    Well done for being open about what's happening at the moment and it can be great when you find new things which you are interested in.

    Keep Going
    Rayofhope

    ​Hi @Rayofhope

    ​I am coping with it all. I have been struggling for the past few weeks, but Tuesday was really the up point for me. Although I am really unwell physically.

    ​The reason I don't open up to people and often lie about how I'm feeling is because I don't want people worrying about me. Its complicated.

    ​Thanks for checking up on me.

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • DreaDrea Posts: 292 The Mix Regular
    Hey Abigail,

    Hope everything is going well!

    Drea:heart:
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Drea wrote: »
    Hey Abigail,

    Hope everything is going well!

    Drea:heart:

    Hey @Drea

    All is going well at the moment. I am really proud of myself for coing through it all.

    How are you?

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    I might have to change what i have been saying recently. I really don't understand myself sometimes.

    ​I have 3 assessments this week, 2 presentation and one practical exam. These 3 exams could be spread over 2 day or they could be all on the same day. I wish i could say that's all that i am worried about but it isn't. This is the first time i have to speak to people who are just stranger to me i know 8 people out of 20 in my English class (That's one of my assessment lessons). The college subjects are ok to talk about. Also i have to read from the board, this is the first time people will ever hear me read something out load since i sound out that i am you know dyslexic. I know i should be used to it but I'm not, Its a shock to me still.

    Things at home have also been stressful, not everything has been as clean cut as normal. My mums support network hasn't been turning up when they were suppose to and they aren't meant to come on the same day unless its a review. Both members of the team came one after another on Monday so there is no support for the rest of the week. Its just annoys me so much. Then I have to pick up all their pieces because they never learn.

    ​When ever i am stressed there is only one person who can calm me down and tell me that everything will be ok, she was meant to be in work tonight (on kooth) but something might of happened, she could be ill or jetlagged still i really don't but when every you want one person to be in they are just not around that's the time when you feel things could get worse.

    ​Looking back on the pasted 3 months i have done really well, starting college, dealing with my brothers stuff, bonfire night. 3 months ago was the last time i sh and what i did has started to get better know. I do still have a scare from my worse on in June but i won't talk about it.

    ​Apologise for the long comment i just need to type what's going on and send/post it somewhere people will read it and it won't be inside of me any longer.

    Night

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    Hi Abi,

    How you doing at the moment? It sounds that you are finding things more stressful at the moment, how have your assessments been? Well done for being open about how you feeling it can be very hard when we have to talk to and in front of strangers its not the easiest thing to do, but you just got to try your best as that's all you can do. I am sure your not the only one which finds it hard to talk in front of others.

    Sorry to hear that home is stressful at the moment and things aren't clean cut as you would like them to be at the moment. Is there anyone you are able to talk to about the support which you are meant to have but you haven't had? I hope things improve for you and the support starts to be what it is meant to be.

    Well done for looking at the positives and that you feel that you have done really well in the past 3 months that's really good so congratulations for that. Its really important to do that.

    All here for you if you ever need to talk. Hope it gets better soon.

    Rayofhope:rainbow2:
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Rayofhope

    ​Still a little stressed but it at a more manageable level. All my main assessment are done now, 2 distinctions i think was the result find out properly next year.

    ​I struggle to talk about how I am feeling as a fairly large amount of people think i am this caring supportive person, but there comes a time this cookie will break and as @Jellyelephant is one a comment earlier, "you can't pour from an empty cup". I will always look for a positive in a negative situation but sometimes the negative over rule everything else.

    ​Home life is still hard but like always I know things will get better soon.

    Have a lovely week.

    Abi :)
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    Hey Abi,

    I hope you're having a nice weekend. That's really great news you got two distinctions! Well done :)

    In your previous post you mentioned things at home have been stressful. This sounds like a lot of pressure on you, particularly if your mums support network aren't turning up. Is there anyone you can talk to about that? I hope things have been a bit better this week with them.

    It can be really hard to talk about how we're feeling, what do you find most difficult about that?

    That's a really important comment from Jelly, we do need to look ourselves too. :)

    All the best,

    - Aife

    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Aife

    ​I am still struggling but not nearly as much as Tuesday. This week has been hard one me but there is nothing I can do apart from reward myself with TLC time.

    ​The support team for my mum, one of them have finished for Christmas now and won't be back till the 2nd week of January at the earliest. My favourite member of staff is coming out tomorrow as I have a long college day and I know she will do her job properly and that's what I need.

    ​The thing I do find hardest to talk about is just asking for help. I can be struggling for weeks and no one would recognise because I physically struggle to ask for that help. I make sure everyone else is doing well or as finding the necessary support before I even think about myself.

    ​Speak soon

    ​Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Thank you @Abigail for helping me so much this evening. So appreciated. :)
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    Hey @Abigail

    It sounds like things are really tough right now with the support team. Will there be much support coming in over Christmas?

    It can be really hard asking for help sometimes, do you find it easier to talk about how you're feeling when people ask you how you are rather than asking for help yourself? It's okay to ask for help sometimes too, it's understandable to find it difficult though. It's a great step you've made to make this boards post here, really well done :)

    All the best,

    - Aife
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Aife

    The support team are what they are and with or without them life keeps going sadly.

    The reason I often don't ask for help is because I think no one will understand what i go through. When I say 'sorry' its my way of saying i am struggling.

    I have learnt not to look forward to the future, if you know what you have on each day then that all you need to know.

    Speak soon

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Hey @Abigail

    If you could open up to just one staff member, like one you get on best with, then they could help you so much! If you do this, then your road to recovery and emotional healing will begin properly, instead of you suffering in silence.

    Trained staff know where to help. They have lots and lots of experience! But you have to make the first step. Though things must be tough at the moment, I know you can do this, and it will take a lot of courage. But just think of the reward for becoming well again, one day. :)

  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    Hi Abi,

    How you doing at the moment?

    I just wanted to let you know that there are people out there which are going through the same sort of things or they have been in the past which might be able to help. I understand that talking about what we are struggling with is one of the hardest things to do and making the first step to chat is even harder so well done for coming and talking on here. We are always here to talk anything through which you want to talk through and we can help support you.

    Stay strong and have a good Christmas.

    Rayofhope:rainbow::rainbow2:
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Rayofhope

    I wouldn't say I am 100% but defiantly feeling a bit better today. Hope your doing well.

    I know there are people out there who do struggle and there are people in similar situations to myself. Its been just over a year since i first started struggling, I asked for help multiple times shown multiple places to go, Most of the time it was the door, but the only time i felt like i might of stood a chance of any kind of support was here. Thank you.

    From the events of last year its probably the reason i am a scrooge this year.

    Sorry

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • DreaDrea Posts: 292 The Mix Regular
    Hey Abigail,

    It's been a while! How are you feeling? Merry Christmas! Have an amazing day!

    Drea:heart:
  • AbigailAbigail Posts: 816 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi Drea,

    Long time no speak. I had a bit of a ruff day with everything but just got on with it all like normal.

    Hope you had a lovely day as well

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
  • kharishmakharishma Deactivated Posts: 3 Newbie
    Hi Abi, :wave:

    You haven't let anyone down and I think its great you are taking time out and looking after yourself. You mentioned you wanted to get into a routine of self care, have you read our article?

    It''s also really great you spoke to your tutor. How did that go?

    Have a great rest of the day.

    Kharishma :)
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