struggling to cope

Jellyelephant · November 2017

I have been drinking every day. People are mad at me, my therapist rang my support worker and care cordinator who both lectured me on drinking too much saying its a problem. People dont understand that drinking is one of my early warning signs that my mental health is deteriating but they dont understand this because thy dont know me. They think they know me but they dont at all. I only start drinking when things are VERY BAD for me.

When i used to live in another city if i was drinking my old support worker would take me to my psychiatrist and he would tell me am having a crisis and give me medication to help calm me down. When i live here now nobody helps me. THey just seem angry. My anxiety levels are sky high, feel paranoid, feel low, everyone want me to die or hurt me dont recognise myself anymore in the mirror, trauma got me messed up flashbacks nightmares suicidal thoughts.

I dont even know whats happening anymore i need to fix up but i cant i need help i feel like i am drowning inside... just because i dont show my feelings on my face doesnt mean theyre not there. I dont know what i am going on about but things are bad for me cant cope need help so keep drinking to make it all stop but it never stops so i have to keep drinking nobodys helping me everyones mad they want to hurt me but i am scared of people hurting me.

BubblesGoesBoo · November 2017

Heey Jelly,
i dont really know what to suggest to get them to listen

but are you still in contact with your old team? maybe they could shed some light to your new team about the situation? or would it help to write it out and post it? that way you dont have to face them and they can get a bit more insight.

i'm sure you know alcohol can highten some emotions, could you try cutting it out gradually? like have a few nights a week without alcohol (bin it!) and build up from there?
Im not sure if this is any help but big hugs anyway! *hug**hug*

Riley · November 2017

Hey there Jellyelephant.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much at the moment, having to cope with people being mad at you on top of your deteriorating mental health sounds awful. You mentioned that your old support worker would help you in ways you found more useful, is there a way for you to get in contact with them again and perhaps explain the situation to your new support worker? Healthcare professionals are there to help after all so it's important that they act in ways that you feel are good for you.

You also mentioned your issues with alcohol tying into your low mental health, is there someone close to you in your life that you can talk to about these habits such as your family or friends? A lot of people tend to find it much easier to cut down on drinking alcohol if they have some outside help from someone they trust.

I hope you're able to get the support you need and start feeling better soon.

- Riley

allyson · November 2017

Jellyelephant,

I am really sorry to hear about the situation you’re in. That sounds very challenging and you’re doing very well to open up and talk about what’s been going on for you.

You mentioned that your anxiety has become sky high, you’re feeling paranoid, and that your mental health is deteriorating. There is an organisation called Rethink Mental Illness. They offer advice and information, as well as practical information, for anyone dealing with mental illness. They have a phoneline that you can contact. Their website is https://www.rethink.org.

You also mentioned that you’ve been drinking every day to help yourself cope. There is another organisation called Drinkline. They offer free, confidential information and advice to those concerned about their own drinking. They have a free helpline number: 0300 123 1110. You can also check out their website at https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-support-services.

I hope these services are helpful to you and that you can get the support you need. Do you think you will be able to get in touch with these organisations?

-Allyson

struggling to cope

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