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Narcissist?
Distraction
Posts: 449 Listening Ear
I think I live with a narcissist and am just so fed up of feeling like shit most of the time.
If something doesn't go her way or something pisses her off, everyone has to know it, she slams doors, bashes pots about, stomps around like some child, she makes sure everyone feels as angry as she does and theres just no brake from it, you don't have an opinion, ur just a piece of shit on their shoe, she won't talk, it's all about her, she twists things and asks the most stupid questions, there questions u already know the answer to but she asks them so that u know she knows sort of thing.
She manipulates everything, and if u say anything she gets more pissed off because she takes it as an attack at her, so u stay silent but then that's seen as not cooperating but what the fuck are u meant to say when it just gets twisted or makes it worse so sometimes I end up letting a little laugh cos am so fucking confused over what to do, my hands are tied, I can't talk cos that makes everything worse and she gets annoyed if am silent, if I don't laugh I end up crying and then she gets even angrier and starts shouting about how it's all her fault because am crying and how she's the bad guy and asks why am I upset and that she's only trying to talk to me.
At that point I just feel like screaming at her.
what the fuck do I do, I don't know anymore.
By the end of the day I can't even think straight and I get flooded with harming urges cos it's the only thing that slows everything down, so I have to fight them off as well, am just so done am to tired for all this
If something doesn't go her way or something pisses her off, everyone has to know it, she slams doors, bashes pots about, stomps around like some child, she makes sure everyone feels as angry as she does and theres just no brake from it, you don't have an opinion, ur just a piece of shit on their shoe, she won't talk, it's all about her, she twists things and asks the most stupid questions, there questions u already know the answer to but she asks them so that u know she knows sort of thing.
She manipulates everything, and if u say anything she gets more pissed off because she takes it as an attack at her, so u stay silent but then that's seen as not cooperating but what the fuck are u meant to say when it just gets twisted or makes it worse so sometimes I end up letting a little laugh cos am so fucking confused over what to do, my hands are tied, I can't talk cos that makes everything worse and she gets annoyed if am silent, if I don't laugh I end up crying and then she gets even angrier and starts shouting about how it's all her fault because am crying and how she's the bad guy and asks why am I upset and that she's only trying to talk to me.
At that point I just feel like screaming at her.
what the fuck do I do, I don't know anymore.
By the end of the day I can't even think straight and I get flooded with harming urges cos it's the only thing that slows everything down, so I have to fight them off as well, am just so done am to tired for all this
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Comments
It sounds like you're going through some issues with her at the moment and it can be difficult. Have you ever tried speaking to her about this issue and how it has been making you feel? It may be good to communicate with her and try to talk to her and ask her how the two of you can sort it out. If it makes you uncomfortable to confront her about the situation, you could send her a message or write her a letter just to let her know how she's making you feel. Often people can't realise how much they're affecting someone with their negative attitude until they're told quite obviously that they are hurting people's feelings. When it's done in a calm and formal manner too, it may become harder for her to retaliate in an aggressive way, and you could end up speaking normally and getting it sorted. Does that sound like something that could help?
Have a great day!
Drea
Thank u for the suggestion, I really did try to talk to her awhile ago, she didn't want to hear it, I was told not to be so selfish and spoiled, that my attitude was out of order, I was very carful not to use any sort of tone and only lightly touched the subject after she calmed down a few days later I gave her a letter, explaining how I felt and also taking her feelings into consideration, she took it the wrong way and thought I was trying to compare her to my mother (which is a big insult) she really isn't all bad but is just really difficult to understand and live with, I don't get why we can't just talk things through
Well done for doing all of those things! You did the right thing by keeping calm, and it's understandable that you're frustrated as anybody probably would be in that situation. Do you have any other housemates? Or is it just the two of you? If there are more people you could discuss it between you guys. Is it possible to talk to any family members or friends to see what can be done perhaps. If it bothering you that much, then it is important to think about your future there and how you feel in your own home because you should always feel comfortable where you live!
Drea
Drea