Home Sex & Relationships

Consent and invalidation

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
So, after reading the consent part of this website, I guess I have figured out that I was raped. Not in a traumatic way but effectively coerced. But I am still at a bit of a loss, because I then consented with the same guy later on, the only difference was that I wasn't drunk. I feel like that sort of invalidates my experience. This was all ages ago but I'm still sort of trying to work it all out. I'm just sort of at a loss of what to think and what to do. Not really sure I want to take action about it but I feel like people don't believe me.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there @SarahJane16 Thank you for coming to the forums to air out your concerns. It's a brave thing of you to do, to begin a dialogue on what you have experienced.

    Matters of consent have many gray areas, proving it difficult to define what happened and how to come to terms with it. Processing your emotions and thoughts may be the first step in arriving at a clear understanding of your experience, and judging from your post you seem to be in-process.

    Do you know of anyone with whom you can speak about this issue? A counselor or professional who has experience with these kinds of situations? Your feelings and your experience are important and valid. It may help speaking with a credentialed professional, someone who will treat your account of things with respect and discretion, and may be able to lead you to clarity on your experience, and help you take the necessary steps to move on from it.

    Sending you my best wishes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi sarahjane16,

    I can relate to your situation, as I was sexually assaulted two years ago, and I tucked my feelings away for nearly two years without facing them. Now I am being followed by a therapist, and talking about what happened and the feelings I have tried to hide all these years was really difficult at the start, I was struggling to manage my emotions as I had mixed feelings, but talking about my feelings to a professional has really helped me to understand that it wasn't my fault and that I am a victim, and that I shouldn't feel ashamed to talk about it. You might consider talking to a counsellor/therapist about this, it will take a weight off your shoulders I can guarantee that :)

    All the best:heart:

    xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Hope93,

    It's nice to hear you're doing well with it, I hadn't thought about going down that sort of route, I might look into it. Thank you :blush:
  • MikeMike Screen addict 🎮 LondonPosts: 2,999 Community Manager
    Hey Sarah Jane,

    Just wanted to check in and see how you're getting on? *hug*
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
Sign In or Register to comment.