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Update: Clinical Psychology Appointment

apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
I have been seeing a clinical psychologist from the CMHT and so upto today I've had 4 appointments. All of my appointments have been part of an "assessment" and I was hoping today would be the last assessment and that I would find out the outcome. Well that wasn't the case, I have another appointment next week.

I wanted to discuss specifically todays appointment. As usual talked about how I was feeling and discussed more aspects about my life, how I'm feeling, what it feels like etc. But today she asked me to do another questionnaire. I previously did a questionnaire- which seemed pretty standard but this one was different.

She said it was a "social interaction" questionnaire, which I did complete. However there were some questions irrelevant to "social interaction" e.g. with regards to being fascinated by numbers, noticing details, imagination and other stuff. So I remembered some of the questions from the questionnaire which I typed up online and found this.....

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism.htm

This questionnaire is exactly the same as the one the psychologist got me to sit today. It's a screening test for autism/aspbergers. What does this mean? Why didn't she tell me what it's for?

At the end I asked her what would happen next, she said she would count up my score (from that questionnaire) and see from there!

I'm feeling a bit worried to be honest, I know it doesn't mean I have autism or aspbergers, but quite a lot of that stuff in the questionnaire applies to me. That makes me think- what if I have it? (I may not, I know but still)

Now before this appointment, I told her that as a child I saw a psychologist as they had concerns (I know this as my parents told me and I found lots of psychological reports in the attic). She said she would contact my GP to ask for more information (as I was so young I don't know much about it). Could this be why?

Feeling confused, worried, scared!
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Comments

  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Feeling extremely low- just the usual but more frustrated I'm still not starting treatment yet, I just want to move on :crying:

    All this assessment crap being dragged out is taking its toll, how much more of it, how many more questionnaires :( Sick of being told 'I'm hopeful next week will be the last assessment session before we decide". It's not their fault, but it's disappointing. I just want to move on in life , I'm sick of how things are, I try to change but I can't do it on my own :(

    Then she said we need to find out results of questionnaire before anything- it's been 4 appointments and will be 5 next week and still no further forward.

    Also I think I am feeling especially low as I'm disappointed no progress, I got my hopes up- now as uni is about to begin in under 2 weeks I'm debating my purpose in life.

    I just feel utter crap right now :(
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    I've been trying to stay busy and distracted for so long, I feel fed up of this trying to push on- I just feel like it's too much and that I could collapse in a heap. Don't feel like moving from bed for the whole weekend :/
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    :crying:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Amanda,

    It sounds like you've had a very long and frustrating day today and I am not surprised you are feeling this way about it. I'm wondering if you'd feel able to ask them why this is and why they hadn't mentioned this specific detail about the questionnaire to you?I think it's also important for you to remember that several of questionnaires like these ones(especially from Psych Central)are repeated and mentioned on more than just one.

    Perhaps you could ask your parents more about what you've said here and see if they give you any more details and information?

    You can do this and you will get there-I had my psychiatric assessment today and so am here to support every step of your journey since Im also experiencing something a little similar.

    Here for you Hunni *hug*:heart:

  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Hi Amanda,

    It sounds like you've had a very long and frustrating day today and I am not surprised you are feeling this way about it. I'm wondering if you'd feel able to ask them why this is and why they hadn't mentioned this specific detail about the questionnaire to you?I think it's also important for you to remember that several of questionnaires like these ones(especially from Psych Central)are repeated and mentioned on more than just one.

    Perhaps you could ask your parents more about what you've said here and see if they give you any more details and information?

    You can do this and you will get there-I had my psychiatric assessment today and so am here to support every step of your journey since Im also experiencing something a little similar.

    Here for you Hunni *hug*:heart:
    Thank you for your reply Hannah,

    Yeah that's a good point, just feeling very down at the moment :(

    Can't ask parents as they don't know I'm going to these appointments.

    Hope your assessment went well :heart:
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    I am so down and lost and miserable right now, I don't know what to do with myself either
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Just want to escape, I can't take this I can't settle tonight
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    :crying: i can't cope
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »
    Thank you for your reply Hannah,

    Yeah that's a good point, just feeling very down at the moment :(

    Can't ask parents as they don't know I'm going to these appointments.

    Hope your assessment went well :heart:

    That's okay Amanda, you're welcome.

    Can you bring it up with them and perhaps just say you found those documents in the attic and so are curious??

    I understand that-My parents don't currently know either.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can do this and you can cope Hun stay strong :heart:*hug*
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    You can do this and you can cope Hun stay strong :heart:*hug*

    Thanks for your replies :heart:
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Feeling scared about my appointment next week, I feel she's going to quiz me on a lot of stuff........

    Then that stupid questionnaire :/ why are they so obsessed with questionnaires and scores!?!?

    Then what if nothing comes from these appointments.

    I just want to move on!!!!!!!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You will get there Hunni :* x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You will get there Hun.You Have so much inner strength and courage.Looking for and identifying the best help and treatment for people can sometimes be difficult as the professionals want to support in the best way possible.Have you let them know how you feel about this?

    Stay strong and take good care.I'll speak to you again soon.xx
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    You will get there Hun.You Have so much inner strength and courage.Looking for and identifying the best help and treatment for people can sometimes be difficult as the professionals want to support in the best way possible.Have you let them know how you feel about this?

    Stay strong and take good care.I'll speak to you again soon.xx

    I hope so, yeah they know I'm worried about the outcome and I plan to tell her on Thursday that I'm getting very frustrated by these appointments and not getting any further forward.
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Literally lying in bed doing nothing :/ I just feel no purpose in life
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »

    I hope so, yeah they know I'm worried about the outcome and I plan to tell her on Thursday that I'm getting very frustrated by these appointments and not getting any further forward.

    The fear of the unknown is clearly here for you as well,which is understandable.It's good that they know you're worried.

    I feel a similar way to what you describe here and I am in a similar situation too.They have to do what they feel is best for us in the long term,no matter how hard we currently find it.

    You do have a purpose in life-We all do.We just need to find it and concentrate on it xx
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion

    The fear of the unknown is clearly here for you as well,which is understandable.It's good that they know you're worried.

    I feel a similar way to what you describe here and I am in a similar situation too.They have to do what they feel is best for us in the long term,no matter how hard we currently find it.

    You do have a purpose in life-We all do.We just need to find it and concentrate on it xx

    That's so true Hannah- I guess its to get the best support for us :heart:

    I'm considering asking to see the notes she records during our sessions....I just want to know what is being said.

    I'm just finding it so difficult to find a purpose in life at the moment :/
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Feeling a bit better, spoke to the nurse at Student Health on the phone for an hour - such a nice lady, very supportive and she's always happy for me to pop-in to student health or phone whenever! Don't know what I'd do with out her support, she goes above and beyond her job!
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Right so I got a letter today in the post (completely unrelated) and my mum was asking if it was the psychologist. It wasn't so I said no.

    Long story when they discovered I was struggling ( I didn't tell them, they found out) they were asking if I had help and I told them I was waiting on a referral for clinical psychology. So I decided I would tell them after the first appointment (as I hate all the questions) but 4 appointments later that still hasn't happened, and now as I've learned mum does remember so I will need to tell them at some point :( I won't say I've been before I'll just make it out that it's my first appointment when I do, too late notice for next Thursday but I'll try and do it after. I really don't want to, I can't bear questions and if I refuse to say they will get suspicious ........... Not liking this at all
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,288 Part of The Furniture
    Hey apandav,

    Well done for getting this far with the psychology appointments. :) They sound tough but hopefully they're paying off, or they will in due course. Are they going okay so far?

    You said you won't tell them about your previous appointments, is this because you feel guilty about not telling them beforehand? For a lot of people, once news like this sinks in with people (parents in particular) they usually come around to it and genuinely want to help as best they can, even if initially they feel a bit miffed that they weren't kept fully in the loop. The idea that you should have told them, regardless of whether you actually should have or not, is likely to be overshadowed by their concern for you eventually. Does that make sense? I know telling people, particularly if they're close to you, it a tough barrier to break at first but the relief of not feeling like you need to keep things secret is great and essential for your long term wellbeing.

    You could also think about the different ways that you can tell them; it doesn't necessarily have to be verbal. For example, a friend of mine told me about his mental health situation after first writing it all down in the form of a letter. He said it really helped him work out exactly what he wanted to say and the best way of wording it all. You can communicate it in whatever feels comfortable and most natural for you. :)

    Do you want to tell us more about the relationship you have with your parents?

    Take good care :)

    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    I want to end it all, don't want to be here anymore ......
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »

    That's so true Hannah- I guess its to get the best support for us :heart:

    I'm considering asking to see the notes she records during our sessions....I just want to know what is being said.

    I'm just finding it so difficult to find a purpose in life at the moment :/

    She should give you access to those notes-Unless she feels it will be harder for you.You do have a purpose,we all do.

    Hun,what's happened to give you that sudden feeling?

    Hannah xx
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    That was close........Get Connected wanted to phone me an ambulance :( why did I even tell them my postcode, couldn't say my address so they didn't phone thankfully, but omg so close :/
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Just feel life's not worth living I'm not enjoying this and it's easier to give up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey again Amanda,

    It is very hard to be feeling stuck In the process but you are doing well and have come a long way. You clearly know that you do need and want some help otherwise you would not be continuing with these appointments and would be giving up. You have strength and you will get there. The journey is hard and will take time but the sooner they've sorted out and identified the right help and treatment for you then the better it will be.

    Sorry to hear about what happened with Get Connected a little while ago and I'm wondering how you feel now?

    Hannah xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey,

    I'm sorry to hear about what happened earlier, but it's good that you reached out to Get Connected - remember you can contact Samaritans or HopeLine if need be. How are you feeling now?

    It's understandable that you're frustrated about your appointments not going as anticipated, but you have persevered until now, and as Hannah says, you absolutely have the right to tell them how you feel about it :yes:

    Hang in there apandav*hug*
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    What a night...... confidentiality broke by get connected, phone call from ambulance service- I told them I'm fine and don't need an ambulance. Then without me knowing police are at my door and refuse to leave until I contact my parents........ I thought I was almost 19 they couldn't but cause I'm apparently a 'vulnerable adult' bullshit and that I live in their house I had no choice :( parents are supportive but is going to be tough
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Oh and apparently I was close to getting sectioned, if my parents didn't react well but they did. This has gave me the fright of my life :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm so sad and sorry to hear about what happened for you last night Amanda and I am not surprised at all you felt really scared and angry.In a way though,it's really good that were strongly advised/told to tell your parents about it especially since they are being so supportive and understand of you again now.How did they react?It will be tough and no one said it would be easy but you can and you will do this.You are a strong person even if you may not always believe it at times Hun xx
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