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Very low sex drive-male please help

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi everyone,:wave:

Im in my late twenties and I have a problem-my sex drive is very low.
I very rarely feel like sex at all, and I've been like this for a few years now.

I have a girlfriend and we don't have sex that often at all. Its strange though as its not like its here either as I don't often masterbate anywhere near as much as I used to and the only real time I get the urge for sex is when I am hungover:confused:

I know everything is working down below as I get the usual errection in the night if I wake up-guys will know what I mean.

This is beginning to really get me down, I really miss this aspect of my life when I was horny and enjoyed all the fun I used to have.

I've been to doctors and havn't found a solution- my testerone level apparently is fine :(

Th interesting thing I have read online regarding my hangover horny sydrome is that you get an influx of testerone the next day after drinking or something?:chin:

Any help is greatly apprectiated.

cheers

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there Youwantromance? :wave:

    It seems like this problem is really getting to you and affecting your relationship. Sometimes it's important to wonder how much sex is actually normal?. Some couples have sex more often then others, and it all depends on what you feel you want or need.

    There can be many reason for a low sex drive - such as fatigue, medication etc. You say you have seen the doctor, how about perhaps speaking to a sex therapist? It can seem daunting at first, but they might help!

    In terms of your relationship, perhaps speaking to your partner about this could help you, and her, feel closer and more aware of the situation.

    Good luck and let us know how you get on :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you considered the possibility you may not be attracted to your girlfriend?

    For me my sex drive does change depending on the girl.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is a fairly common issue in late 20's to early 30's. Even though your testosterone levels may be 'fine' they are likely lower than you are used to now. Tribulus is a popular testosterone booster that comes in many forms. I've tried it before and gotten a bit of an increase to my sex drive. Could be worth a try.

    Also it could just be a over familiarity thing with the current gf. How does your sex drive go with other girls?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aside from what the others have suggested, a big contributing factor can be certain medications.

    I know that a number of anti-depressants really suppress sex drive and sexual sensitivity too, and often these side-effects are never actually mentioned by doctors or in the booklets/pamphlets they provide you with.

    I speak from experience as I went several years with this problem before discovering it was my medication at fault (which annoyed me a lot), so if you take any medications it's worth Googling their side-effects.

    If this isn't the issue, maybe you just need to try spicing up your sex life a little - role-playing or alternative location, perhaps? It doesn't hurt to talk to your gf about it either, if you haven't already. I mean, if you love her then it's something you could probably work through together. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi am 40 and have a very low sex drive I am engaged to the best woman in the world who is so understanding but there is a limit to her patience it just seems sex can be this big huge effort I love and fancy my gal like crazy so this is so frustrating I need help
  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hi there Stevo,

    Welcome to TheSite!
    Sorry to hear about your situation - it sounds really frustrating.

    Before getting into it, just a couple of quick things..

    This thread is pretty old - the last post was over 3 years ago. Generally, we try to avoid posting in inactive threads like this (for all the reasons, take a look at our Good Manners Guide) so it's generally best to start a new thread. For that reason, I've closed this one.

    Secondly, it's worth knowing that this place is really designed for 16 to 25 year olds - all our info is tailored to that age range. With that in mind, TheSite might not be the best place to get help with this.

    But there are other places better set up to support you with your low sex drive:
    The organisation Relate provide lots of information, advice and support services around relationships for people of all ages.
    You could also head over to The Couple Connection's Listening Room. Helpers are available to listen and advise Monday-Sunday 9-10pm.

    I hope that all makes sense :)

    James (mod)
This discussion has been closed.