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My life at the moment with depression
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have just turned 18 and i have had the typical symptoms of depression for years continuous low mood and sadness, feeling hopeless and helpless, having low self-esteem, feeling irritable and intolerant of others, having no motivation or interest in things, finding it difficult to make decisions, not getting any enjoyment out of life and feeling anxious and worried all the time. I have been to the GD and he said it was low mood and to see how i am in a couple of weeks my symptoms have felt like they are getting worse but the thing i don't understand is how the symptoms don't always show constantly, when im out and in school i don't feel all of these and im fairly confident and talkative but as soon as i come home again i feel everything again. The worse part i feel that is bringing me down the most is i feel like i have absolutely no social understanding any more, i cant keep conversation and cant usually start it and i feel as if everyone is constantly staring at me and judging me as well as feeling like im burdening everyone i talk to tat they have to know and talk to me even writing on here i feel like im burdening you all even though i know you have the choice to read it or not. It brings me down even more when i feel these feelings from my family i cant conversate with them and im burdening them. This isn't a sob story im just trying to understand by asking if anyone has had and know how to deal with this.
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Comments
I see that you posted this a few days ago – I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this way, but hopefully it helped for you to come and write it down here.
Firstly, you are not being a burden to us at all – we are here for you
It seems like you have a lot of emotions running through your mind and might be feeling confused about what it all means. I can imagine it being quite overwhelming for you. It might be worth having a look at this article on understanding depression.
Well done for going to see your GP about how you are feeling – how long has it been since you went to see them?
You mentioned that your feelings tend to resurface when you are at home, but you also feel judged and that you are burdening everyone – why do you think that is, and what is it that makes you feel this way?
You said the thing that brings you down most is feeling unable to hold or start a conversation, but outside of home you feel more confident and talkative. Is there anyone in particular you feel more confident talking to? If so, have you spoken to or thought about speaking to them about how you’re feeling? Surrounding yourself with people you feel more confident and comfortable with might start to help you feel more at ease
Let us know how you’re getting on *hug*