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I am disgusted in myself

apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
Absolutely disgusted in myself. Things can only get worse from here :( feeling down, angry, frustrated with myself. Just want to crawl into a hole and hide from the world!

Comments

  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    :( why??????????????????
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Coming to sad realisations. Hiding the truth from myself, now it's coming to light. False sense of recovery..... I can sense it will go downhill from here
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    apandav wrote: »
    Coming to sad realisations. Hiding the truth from myself, now it's coming to light. False sense of recovery..... I can sense it will go downhill from here

    Lets talk about it Hun. You and me. Messenger naow. :)

    *Saddles ass, rides out*
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Thank you again Poppi *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're always welcome Amanda hug.gif
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
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  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    edited all my posts.
  • SarahRSarahR Posts: 213 Trailblazer
    Hi apandav

    It sounds like it's a pretty tough day and you're having lots of negative thoughts about yourself and how you're coping with things. I'm wondering if you're not feeling there's any alternative to placing this blame on yourself? It sounds like you're in a lot of pain and maybe feeling it's all your fault is making things spiral a bit?

    Let us know how you're getting on,

    SarahR
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    :(
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Don't know where to go, what to do
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Sadness
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Life is a state, things were supposed to get better. I only kid myself, the things go downhill.......rapidly fuck life, I want to run away from it
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    I'm a cow, I deserve to disappear , none understands
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    I WANT TO SCREAM , I CANT TAKE THIS , I CANT HANDLE IR, HOE CAN I HANDLE LIFE, THINGS SETS ME KFF SO EASILY, IM TOO OVER EMOTIONAL, IM BEING AN IDIOT TYING THIS RIGHT NOW, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, FEELING SAD,
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    :(
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    SarahR wrote: »
    Hi apandav

    It sounds like it's a pretty tough day and you're having lots of negative thoughts about yourself and how you're coping with things. I'm wondering if you're not feeling there's any alternative to placing this blame on yourself? It sounds like you're in a lot of pain and maybe feeling it's all your fault is making things spiral a bit?

    Let us know how you're getting on,

    SarahR

    Thank you for replying Sarah!
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Feel very sad
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to talk to your therapist again. Her encouragement and help will get you back on the road to getting over this present angst. This is just a suggestion, nothing more dear. :)
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Thanks, I will talk to my therapist again on Friday!
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    SarahR wrote: »
    Hi apandav

    It sounds like it's a pretty tough day and you're having lots of negative thoughts about yourself and how you're coping with things. I'm wondering if you're not feeling there's any alternative to placing this blame on yourself? It sounds like you're in a lot of pain and maybe feeling it's all your fault is making things spiral a bit?

    Let us know how you're getting on,

    SarahR

    Sarah honestly I feel things have spiralled this week. It hasn't been a great week at all. Things were going great, and I feel I've let myself down. Been feeling very low recently. I feel I'm being very critical of myself but I can't help it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey apandav :)

    Im so sorry to hear you have been on a bit of a downard turn lately - has there been anything that might have triggered this? It does sound like you blame yourself for things turning to a low ebb. I think that once you start the cycle of blame - and point the finger at yourself, then it can be very hard to look around and see other possible reasons for things going wrong in life.

    We are our own harshest self-critic (Im the same - so dont feel this is just something you're on your own with), but it doesn't really do your self-esteem any favours.

    Are you able to tell us a little more about what's been going on for you?
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    Hi Tamsinjo :) thanks for your reply!

    Yes, I do believe there has been triggers. A range of things has happened, some of which I wish not to share but I posted some of my feelings out on another thread - which felt good to get it all out!!

    Guess your right in saying that we are are own harshest critics. I just get uptight when I'm not where or what I want to be or I don't reach my own standards.

    A lots happened- been feeling down as I think I'm gaining weight (which is making me more self conscious), I confided in my friends about mh and other things (I'd prefer not to say)
  • apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
    I've calmed down a bit today though...... Trying to be more positive!
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