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She's not depressed... is she?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My best friend thinks she is depressed but I don't know.
I thought maybe she was just feeling depressed but now I'm not sure. She is really self concious, has v. low self esteem, she's always putting herself down about everything.
I really don't know what to do, there's also a guy she's liked for four years but he barely notices she exists, I've tried to help her get over him but nothing I do makes a diffference.
She means the world to me but I feel really useless because I can't make her feel better.
I don't know what to say to her and its pissing me off, I feel selfish because I spend all my time trying to make her feel better but she doesn't help me out when I'm feeling shit.
Any ideas about what I should do?
Thanks
I thought maybe she was just feeling depressed but now I'm not sure. She is really self concious, has v. low self esteem, she's always putting herself down about everything.
I really don't know what to do, there's also a guy she's liked for four years but he barely notices she exists, I've tried to help her get over him but nothing I do makes a diffference.
She means the world to me but I feel really useless because I can't make her feel better.
I don't know what to say to her and its pissing me off, I feel selfish because I spend all my time trying to make her feel better but she doesn't help me out when I'm feeling shit.
Any ideas about what I should do?
Thanks
0
Comments
it does sound like your friend is depressed, and i know what you mean about feeling crap when you can't help. it's also crap if you're always giving and not getting anything back but maybe it has to be like that for a while until she gets back on her feet again. believe me i've been in both of your positions! i hate to sound like an agony aunt but is there anyone else she could talk to like a counsellor (sp?) or someone. sometimes they're crap but they can be good for a chat and it avoids you having to take it all on yourself.
hope this helps a bit
x bella x
I think you should try and work on the positive side of things if you can. Look at the reasons for her low self esteem and go from there. Based on that, you could maybe organise something which would raise her spirits - a night out or a shopping trip even? Basically anything which will start to give her confidence.
You mention this lad doesn't notice her. Do you mean he ignores her cos he isn't interested? Is he aware of how she feels? Just an idea...
Feeling helpless is not a nice experience I agree, but as long as you're doing what you can that's what counts.
Good luck
http://www.thesite.org/info/health/depression/the_signs_of_depression.html
I was in a similar situation about two years ago, although looking back it doesn't feel like it. I ended up seeing a doctor, at my best friends insistance, which is both the best and worst thing I could have done.
Maybe you could also try to get her to talk to you, or others that she is close to, maybe to try to give both you and her some ideas as to what maybe causing this? I've found it's easier for close friends to help each other through stuff like this, if you both know what is going on, and can understand each other.
It's really upto her, I assume she is old enough to make her own decisions, I guess all you can do really is help her? And as hard as it is to accept that she can't always be there for you in return, if she has her problems or complications, then maybe that's just how it'll be for a while, til she works towards getting herself straightened out. Then again, it could just be low self-esteem, I suppose neither of you will ever know til you check it out, if that's what she wants to do.
You might also find it useful to check through previous threads, because there are loads regarding depression, and the things surrounding it
Anyway, I think I'm babbling now, so I'll leave it at that.
Take care