Home Health and Wellbeing
Exciting news! Join our watch club and get free access to NOW for 1 month

Emotion Overload

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guys

I know I haven't been on the boards for a while, sorry about that, but there has been a lot going on :( I've finally reached breaking point and I honestly don't know what to do. So I came here.

As the title says, I'm overwhelmed with feelings and emotions and the best way I can think of explaining them is list and describe. I apologise now if this doesn't make sense. In fact, it's probably best you save yourself before you hear me droan on..

- Guilt: I know theres children out there I can save but too chicken to do so. Also feel guilty that my carers, one in particular, is expecting me to be this brilliant person I know I'm not going to be.

- Anxious: My anxiety levels are through the roof. Nothing ever seems to just come on its own. Everything always comes at once making it harder to deal with. Plus, my social anxiety is bad so have locked myself in my flat since 11:30am yesterday. Go me...

- Anger: I am unbelievably angry at myself for allowing all this get to me because I know theres people out there, on the boards even, that have so much more going on then me.

- Sadness: Lately, I've been crying daily - its pathetic. I cry because I miss my nan, I cry because I want my Gracie back and I cry because I'm the one left suffering.

But above all, I feel alone. Not physically but alone in that no one understands :(

Anyway I'll shut up now. And before anyone asks I don't know what the point was of making this thread...

Comments

  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,426 Part of The Furniture
    Hey becki.

    I hope it helped you to get all this out and hopefully talking about things will help your mind become clearer.

    It makes sense don't worry.

    When you speak about saving children out there, do you think you could get another adult involved cos it sounds like its getting to you and you may need that extra support. Your not being chicken, it sounds difficult for you.

    With regards to your anxiety have you found things in the past that have helped you? So sorry to hear how things are for you at the minute. We are here for you.

    Sorry to hear you are feeling angry towards yourself. I can assure you that you dont have to feel angry with youself, it's good that you have posted for support. TheSite is here for everyone, no problem is too small or too big. Everyone deserves support that includes you. :heart:



    Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 The Mix Regular
    Hi Becki,

    You're doing amazing work being involved in what you are doing. I think at this stage in your life you are still developing and finding your way; you may feel that one of your carers is expecting you to be a brilliant person... what if you already are a brilliant person, you just aren't recognising it? It's hard when you feel that you have expectations to live up to - but maybe you could talk to her about why you feel you won't be living up to her expectations.

    Please don't be angry with yourself for letting things get to you - there is no scale of 'this should only get to me a tiny bit, but actually it's really getting to me' - everyone deals with whatever happens to them in different ways. You have an equal right to feeling however you want to feel (if that makes sense).

    Is there anyone that you know you can talk about how you're feeling?
    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey becki.

    I hope it helped you to get all this out and hopefully talking about things will help your mind become clearer.

    It makes sense don't worry.

    When you speak about saving children out there, do you think you could get another adult involved cos it sounds like its getting to you and you may need that extra support. Your not being chicken, it sounds difficult for you.

    With regards to your anxiety have you found things in the past that have helped you? So sorry to hear how things are for you at the minute. We are here for you.

    Sorry to hear you are feeling angry towards yourself. I can assure you that you dont have to feel angry with youself, it's good that you have posted for support. TheSite is here for everyone, no problem is too small or too big. Everyone deserves support that includes you. :heart:



    Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk

    Thanks for replying Narna

    Another adult is involved. I can't go into too much details on here because the people that know about it have passed my information on anonymously so don't want people seeing its me. So hopefully its all under control. But it doesn't stop me from feeling helpless.

    Music is a massive influence with my anxieties. Once I've got over the initial crapness and I've dealt with my breathing and what not, music helps me calm down. I try to listen to ever word of the song. It helps.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    plugitin wrote: »
    Hi Becki,

    You're doing amazing work being involved in what you are doing. I think at this stage in your life you are still developing and finding your way; you may feel that one of your carers is expecting you to be a brilliant person... what if you already are a brilliant person, you just aren't recognising it? It's hard when you feel that you have expectations to live up to - but maybe you could talk to her about why you feel you won't be living up to her expectations.

    Please don't be angry with yourself for letting things get to you - there is no scale of 'this should only get to me a tiny bit, but actually it's really getting to me' - everyone deals with whatever happens to them in different ways. You have an equal right to feeling however you want to feel (if that makes sense).

    Is there anyone that you know you can talk about how you're feeling?
    *hug*

    Thanks for this ❤

    I don't really do talking about myself that well to be honest. I try to open up in chat if I can (I try when its not busy) but I just feel bad in there because there's so many people needing support and I know I can manage my stuff myself. As for my carers, there's one I get on really well with one of them. We're really close. But I can't talk to her about this stuff. 1. she is way too busy, she's got a to do list as long as her arm. And 2. I don't want her worrying about me. I care too much about her.
  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 The Mix Regular
    Chat is there for everyone to talk about any issues they are having... you are more than entitled to speak up about your stuff at any point :)
    About talking to your carer, don't feel guilty for wanting / needing to talk to her - firstly it could be that opening up to her really helps you to understand your feelings better but she can also look out for you because she knows what's going on. I know it's really hard but sometimes you need to stand up and say I'm struggling and I need to talk to you - I never wanted to bother anyone either and in the end, it didn't help me very much.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    plugitin wrote: »
    Chat is there for everyone to talk about any issues they are having... you are more than entitled to speak up about your stuff at any point :)
    About talking to your carer, don't feel guilty for wanting / needing to talk to her - firstly it could be that opening up to her really helps you to understand your feelings better but she can also look out for you because she knows what's going on. I know it's really hard but sometimes you need to stand up and say I'm struggling and I need to talk to you - I never wanted to bother anyone either and in the end, it didn't help me very much.

    I know chat is for everyone but when I'm in there, I feel like u have to have my supportive head on. Don't ask me why because I don't know.

    So I wrote one of my carers a note telling her that I feel alone etc (didn't tell her about the other stuff). She acknowledged it but were yet to talk about it. She's super busy because she's the manager of the home so I totally understand. She's the only one I fully trust in the house so I wouldn't talk to any of the others.

    Thanks for your help

    Still feeling crappy today. Just like everyday
  • JemGJemG Mod Posts: 11 Confirmed not a robot
    Hi BeckiBoo,

    Just dropping a quick note to see how you're feeling today? It sounds like you were feeling really crappy yesterday. We're here for you, in Chat and on the Boards, when you want to talk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi

    Yeah I haven't been feeling all that good to be honest :( hate feeling like this I really do. Normally I can get through things but it just seems like a never ending tunnel at the minute. But I'll be fine.
    Thanks for checking in on me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Becki

    Sorry to hear that you're not feeling good :( Do you think talking to one of your carers about how you're feeling might alleviate some of the distress you're feeling? Did anything happen with the note?

    Keep on keeping on *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ella! wrote: »
    Hey Becki

    Sorry to hear that you're not feeling good :( Do you think talking to one of your carers about how you're feeling might alleviate some of the distress you're feeling? Did anything happen with the note?

    Keep on keeping on *hug*

    Me and my carers aren't exactly best buddies at the minute so won't be talking to them in a hurry. But I'll be okay. I always get through stuff
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you want to talk about what's happened?

    As other people have said already, you are more than welcome to talk about stuff here. You're so caring and supportive to other people, there's no shame in allowing people to show that same care and support to you :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ella! wrote: »
    Do you want to talk about what's happened?

    As other people have said already, you are more than welcome to talk about stuff here. You're so caring and supportive to other people, there's no shame in allowing people to show that same care and support to you :heart:

    :yes:

    Just wanted to drop in to see how you're doing Becki. ella's right, we're here if you want to talk, ask for advice, vent.. whatever helps.

    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys.
    I'm still struggling but trying not to show it... Its tough but ah well, I'll get through it eventually
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, I believe you will get through this because it's clear to see you are an extremely strong person. I hope you're as okay as can be and as everyone else says, we're here for you *hug*
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,426 Part of The Furniture
    Heya Becki :heart:

    Just thought id post here to see how you are doing *hug*
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for all your kindness. Its much appreciated.
    I do need some advice with something as I'm going to have to do something today and I'm so scared. Got about 4/5 hours
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    I do need some advice with something as I'm going to have to do something today and I'm so scared. Got about 4/5 hours

    Feel free to share this with us and we'll do our absolute best to try and help out. *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not really sure how to explain this so I'm sorry if this is hard to understand (or believe)

    So there's this lady I've met over Facebook (not exactly great I know but don't judge please). Shes in her 40s and we were put in contact with each other via a mutual friend. She's been unable to have children herself but after a few weeks of talking she said she saw me not only as a friend but a daughter. Those of you that know me, I've been searching for a "mum" all my life almost. Shelley is like a mother to me but she can't give me the love and care I need because she needs to remain professional. Which sucks. But Jo (the same of the lady) is such a sweet woman. I went to stay with her over new year and she was everything I expected. Loving, caring, respectful etc.

    But here's where it gets tricky... I haven't told my carers about her yet. Jo wanted to go about it properly before I went to stay with her because she didn't want people thinking she was kidnappings me etc. So I told my social worker/PA for permission to stay with Jo. I only told her I was going to stay with a woman old enough to be my mother (not exactly details but not lying) and she let me go. But I want to be honest with people. Especially Shelley. I dont know how everyone is going to react tho. There's a staff member on later that I can speak to and I was thinking about telling her but how?? I've also written Shelley a letter but doubt I'll give her it.

    Really need advice....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    None of us are going to judge you, not at all, but I do just want to ask you to be really careful please Becki - how well do you really know this woman? I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed your time at hers though and if this turns our well then that's certainly great :yes:

    I'm not too sure what to suggest apart from just being totally honest with this staff member - you're old enough to make your own decisions and it sounds like your mind is made up. It's good to hear that Jo wants to go through the proper channels so I think it might be a good idea to explain that to this staff member too - it might help to put them at ease a bit if they don't react to well, or you could write it all in a letter and let them read it in front of you?

    I do think it's worth pointing out that if this staff member seems angry at first, just try to remember that's their reaction and they might just need some time to really think things through - anger as a reaction is just a mask to hide other emotions.

    Good luck and do let us know how it goes *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    None of us are going to judge you, not at all, but I do just want to ask you to be really careful please Becki - how well do you really know this woman? I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed your time at hers though and if this turns our well then that's certainly great :yes:

    I'm not too sure what to suggest apart from just being totally honest with this staff member - you're old enough to make your own decisions and it sounds like your mind is made up. It's good to hear that Jo wants to go through the proper channels so I think it might be a good idea to explain that to this staff member too - it might help to put them at ease a bit if they don't react to well, or you could write it all in a letter and let them read it in front of you?

    I do think it's worth pointing out that if this staff member seems angry at first, just try to remember that's their reaction and they might just need some time to really think things through - anger as a reaction is just a mask to hide other emotions.

    Good luck and do let us know how it goes *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    None of us are going to judge you, not at all, but I do just want to ask you to be really careful please Becki - how well do you really know this woman? I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed your time at hers though and if this turns our well then that's certainly great :yes:

    I'm not too sure what to suggest apart from just being totally honest with this staff member - you're old enough to make your own decisions and it sounds like your mind is made up. It's good to hear that Jo wants to go through the proper channels so I think it might be a good idea to explain that to this staff member too - it might help to put them at ease a bit if they don't react to well, or you could write it all in a letter and let them read it in front of you?

    I do think it's worth pointing out that if this staff member seems angry at first, just try to remember that's their reaction and they might just need some time to really think things through - anger as a reaction is just a mask to hide other emotions.

    Good luck and do let us know how it goes *hug*

    Yes I know Jo. I know her heart. She's safe as well because she's been police checked due to her job (qualified counsellor).

    The staff member I was going to talk to is in now but I'm worried about speaking to her... Don't know what to say because I don't want them to freak out
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did you manage to speak to the member of staff, Becki? If so, how did it go?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes I did. And it went better then expected. Shelley also now knows but is yet to talk to me... :(
Sign In or Register to comment.