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Am I wasting time?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So how do I know I am not wasting time with a guy? We have been talking since August but back in October I slept with someone else HUGE MISTAKE! I totally regret it but anyway I told him about the other guy and of course he was mad but now I feel like whenever we talk or see each other I'm putting all the effort into the conversation and trying to see him. Now I know he may still feel some type of way about what I did but am I wrong for wanting him to just tell me how he feels about it instead of him being rude and distant sometimes? Like I would rather him just say he doesn't see us working out than him just stringing me along. Or am I just in my feelings and need to just let it ride out?
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If I were you I would just bring it up. Tell him that whenever you two meet he seems more distant, less interested and it seems you have to do all the work, as if you had to redeem yourself. You still want this to work out with him, but his cold attitude is putting you off, what gives? Ask him flat out if he is hurt because you were with someone else and if yes, tell him you regret it, but fundamentally did nothing wrong as you were not in a relationship, much less discussing exclusivity. Reassure him, but don't bend over backwards to rectify his foul mood, or this might become an issue later on, where he will just be stroppy and it will be your duty to fix it.
It sounds like you're feeling confused about what to say to a guy you were talking to who is being rude and distant with you. It could be that he's still feeling hurt about what happened and needs more time to work through it. That said, I agree with StrubbleS that it might be better to be honest about how you're feeling too.
You could try picking a time when you both have time for a proper chat and let him know that you're still sorry, but you'd really like to move on and try and work things out together. Thinking about what to say beforehand might be helpful so that things don't escalate into an argument. Unfortunately, you can't control how he feels about things but you can decide how you feel about being together in future. Is it worth sticking with someone who is being so distant with you? If he can't move on from what happened, how would you feel about putting everything behind you and looking for someone who will give you the attention you deserve?
I hope this is helpful.