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Love my female friend who has a boyfriend..HELP?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
So, I have been friends with girl for a year however recently i have had a different kind of feeling towards her.She knows how I feel about her but she has a boyfriend.

I really do love her and want us to be together but as she has a boyfriend,that cant happen.

What can i do??xx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have to move on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She saids she loves me too but feels shes being disloyal to her boyfriend??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds to me like she's keeping you in the background incase things don't work out with her boyfriend if she really did love you then she would be with you instead
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also, I don't know if this is another friend, but you already had a thing with a girl friend of yours, when you first came out. I suggest you start looking elsewhere for romance or you will run out of friends soon if these things do not work out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have not come out as such as i still do not know what sexuality i come under.

    It is the same friend as i mentioned a while ago.She has a boyfriend still now, even though she asked me to be her girlfriend, but now feels disloyal to him.Its complicated.

    She saids she does love me though.

    I love her a lot and cannot stop thinking about her,But the 'videos dont help with that either x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Distance yourself from her. As it was mentioned already, if she'd wanted you, she'd be with you. She likes the idea of being desired by you, but not enough to rock the boat with her bf she likes too. She can't have her cake and eat it too. It is unfair of her to jerk you around like that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with StrubbleS and I would say, really try to not think about her.

    Think about yourself, make yourself your own point of focus, don't worry about her so much and don't think about what she wants.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks StubbleS.

    She wants to be with me, as shes told me, but doesnt want to leave her boyfriend
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks localboy

    How do i not think about her?

    Its kind of complicated to explain
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    AngelFace97 wrote: »
    Thanks StubbleS.

    She wants to be with me, as shes told me, but doesnt want to leave her boyfriend

    Those things are mutual exclusive, except everybody involved would be into a 3-way relationship. Look what actions say, not the words. "I want to be with you" and not taking action to actually do so are empty words.

    If you want to move on from someone you turn down communication by many notches. Like not initiating contact. Don't look at her facebook and do things that distract you from thinking about her. An idle mind is the devils playground, so pursue hobbies, or meet different people. Occupy your mind with things that are not her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If she isn't going to leave her bf, then she will never be yours, that's what you should understand and accept, therefore, the thing between you (if there is a thing) can never be more than casual and secret and I don't think that's what you're after?

    So I mean look after yourself, if she decides to leave him to enter your world, then that's a different story, but right now, she is with him.

    So focus on you, your life, your hobbies, your wellbeing, and let the world around you fall into place. Find someone who is single, maybe date someone else to see how that makes you feel about this girl. Easier said than done I know, but don't create a fairy-tale story in your head.
    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey AngelFace97,

    It sounds like what you're feeling for your friend could be confusing because they're with someone else. It's hard to move on when you do have feelings for someone, but localboy has offered some great advice - try to surround yourself with other friends, or even a hobby that you enjoy to help distract yourself.

    There's one thing liking someone who's single and seeing where it goes, but liking someone who's in a relationship is a trickier situation and you need to make sure you don't get hurt.

    Let us know how you get on :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Those things are mutual exclusive, except everybody involved would be into a 3-way relationship. Look what actions say, not the words. "I want to be with you" and not taking action to actually do so are empty words.

    If you want to move on from someone you turn down communication by many notches. Like not initiating contact. Don't look at her facebook and do things that distract you from thinking about her. An idle mind is the devils playground, so pursue hobbies, or meet different people. Occupy your mind with things that are not her.

    Thank you for the advice, again :)

    I can see what you mean and i do understand.

    Its just kind of hard.xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Local boy...

    That's true except i dont really know what i want or am after in terms of this though.Sorry.

    I hate looking after myself and have very little self care soo....

    I guess your right though.Thank you xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi

    It is very confusing.The whole idea of sexuality is still pretty confusing for me and it is a horrible feeling.He has offered me some good adbice though yes.

    Thank you!

    And merry christmas all!xx
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