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Questioning life choices and self harming

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm having the worst time at university at the moment. Things always seem to be out of my control and I feel like I'm spiralling. The workload isnt unmanagable but when I sit down to sort things out, I feel like I cant cope at all.
I have a history of self harming and in the last three weeks I've cut myself several times. My flatmates dont know I do this and with their situations at the moment I dont feel confiding in them would be the best option. My parents are a few hundred miles away and the other day phoned me to voice their concerns about me being so stressed all the time (they dont know about my SH either - and if they did they'd make me move home tomorrow).
I know what I'm doing at university is what I'm supposed to do - I've never imagined doing anything else. But I really dont know how to move forward anymore. I have exams in the new year and they terrify me (this is normal for me though).
I'm worried that I'm going to SH more if I dont sort things out.. I just feel so lost.
Has anyone ever felt like this before? or have any suggestions on my next step? :banghead:


  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 The Mix Regular
    Hey young and broken, sorry to hear you feel like you can't cope with the workload.

    I'm sorry if you've already tried this, but have you ever tried to break down each thing you need to do in manageable chunks so it feels less big and overwhelming? It might help for you to write a list of what you need to do exactly and then be able to start crossing off whenever you finish one of the chunks. This is something I did throughout uni and really helped when I felt completely overwhelmed and didn't know where to start. Do you have a study skills centre? They might be able to help suggest other techniques for getting your work done whilst not inducing the feelings of spiralling you have talked about. It might also be worth seeing your uni's counselling service?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey young_and_broken,

    Really glad you're able to come and confide in us here, stress can be really difficult and when things feel overwhelming it's not uncommon to turn to the coping mechanisms that we have used in the past. There's some tips on coping with stress here that you might like to read first.

    It sounds like you're looking for some alternatives to self harm in terms of next steps to help you to cope. plugitin has already given some really great advice. I'd also encourage you to see what support might be on offer at university = they may have Nightline (a confidential helpline for students) or you may find some wellbeing support through student services if you have a look into it.

    Having someone to open up to can really take the pressure off. If you don't feel ready to tell your friends about the self harm, perhaps you could tell them that you're struggling with the stress. Just opening up a little may help you to see that you have some support around you. Perhaps help with making a study plan or making some time out fun plans too.

    Speaking of which, what do you do at the moment to look after yourself? It's important to work on getting a good balance between working hard but also having time to do things you enjoy and that make you feel good. That might be a christmas movie night, baking some mince pies with your flatmates, going for a jog or a walk with your headphones and some music. Something that helps you to connect with others can be beneficial too.

    If you're looking for some support in the moment, don't forget that the Self Injury Support website offers text and email support in the evenings: http://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/tess-text-and-email-support-service

    Let us know how you're getting on *hug*
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