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i THINK my friend is suicidal...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So, I may not be the smartest of people, or the 'top of my class', so when people use metaphors and euphemisms, I tend not to get it. And because of this, I'm not sure whether or not my friend is hinting at me that they're feeling quite suicidal.
He came out of hospital yesterday (Monday) after a week in hospital due to tripping and breaking his leg. He had to have an operation and will now be on crutches for a while. When I asked him how was he and if he was able to get out of hospital (as he wasn't too sure exactly when this week he would be out), he replied with this:
"Yeah got home yesterday, but didn't really realise that having your hands occupied with crutches leaves you completely useless to do anything else! Its not a good situation at the mo, so I'm considering my options."
Considering his options? Does that mean ending it all? Giving up on life? Killing himself?
(More Backstory:
He is a musician so uses his hands A LOT. He also works as a full time musician too, so his work requires him to be move a lot on stage for audience interaction. But that looks pretty impossible for the time being. Music is his LIFE. Any musician would know. I'm a dancer, dancing is my life, so I presume it's a similar situation. I live to dance, so he must live to play, so therefore, if he can't play, he can't live. He also lives on his own, so nothing is stopping him from comitting now - and nobody would even know if it happened.)
I'm feeling really down and scared and frustrated. We're really close friend but he doesn't tell me things like that. I have/had depression and he's the only person that (really) knows, so he supports me. He's the reason I'm still here. My life right now is at a high point, and if I loose him, who knows, I could go back into self harm and suicidal thoughts myself. I cannot loose him, I hope he is still alive now - I havent contacted him in hours to give him some space.
So my question is: "I'm considering my options." - does this mean he is suicidal?
He came out of hospital yesterday (Monday) after a week in hospital due to tripping and breaking his leg. He had to have an operation and will now be on crutches for a while. When I asked him how was he and if he was able to get out of hospital (as he wasn't too sure exactly when this week he would be out), he replied with this:
"Yeah got home yesterday, but didn't really realise that having your hands occupied with crutches leaves you completely useless to do anything else! Its not a good situation at the mo, so I'm considering my options."
Considering his options? Does that mean ending it all? Giving up on life? Killing himself?
(More Backstory:
He is a musician so uses his hands A LOT. He also works as a full time musician too, so his work requires him to be move a lot on stage for audience interaction. But that looks pretty impossible for the time being. Music is his LIFE. Any musician would know. I'm a dancer, dancing is my life, so I presume it's a similar situation. I live to dance, so he must live to play, so therefore, if he can't play, he can't live. He also lives on his own, so nothing is stopping him from comitting now - and nobody would even know if it happened.)
I'm feeling really down and scared and frustrated. We're really close friend but he doesn't tell me things like that. I have/had depression and he's the only person that (really) knows, so he supports me. He's the reason I'm still here. My life right now is at a high point, and if I loose him, who knows, I could go back into self harm and suicidal thoughts myself. I cannot loose him, I hope he is still alive now - I havent contacted him in hours to give him some space.
So my question is: "I'm considering my options." - does this mean he is suicidal?
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Comments
From what you've written, him being suicidal wouldn't be my first thought. Those options could be anything. But it might be worth thinking about what brought that to your mind if it wasn't his direct words.
Are there other things about the way he talked which suggested that he felt like that? Suicidal thoughts tend to happen alongside thoughts/feelings that things won't get any better, and it sounds like he will recover but just need some rest time?
Alternatively, sometimes we hear things in other people's words that tell us more about our own feelings than theirs. You obviously care about him a lot, but it sounds like you're attaching a lot of your wellbeing to him and are imagining what would happen to you if anything happened to him.
You're obviously really worried so, like JavaKrypt says, it's best to talk to him. You don't necessarily need to ask whether he's feeling suicidal, but you could ask him about how he's feeling, when he expects to be playing again, what he's going to do in the meantime etc?
Let us know how you're getting on