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If you could change one thing about your body what would it be?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
:wave:

Before you answer that, take a look at this video. I came across it on twitter and it made me think - At what age do we start being so critical of ourselves and what can cause us to do that?

The difference between how adults and children answer the question is really interesting!

You can read a bit more about the video here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/04/jubilee-project-what-would-50-people-change-about-bodies_n_6101006.html?utm_hp_ref=tw

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That made me teary towards then end - thanks Jojo :p

    The sad thing about that is I can almost guarantee that maybe all of those children, when they get older, will lack the confidence they have and gain self-hate :(

    I think experience(s) have everything to do with why people want to change the way they look. Somewhere along the line of growing up, something will have planted that self-hate there for whatever reason, so you want to try and go back to when it was good. That's why some people can become so obsessed and I think media can play a huge part too, photo shopping anyone to show absolute perfection.

    TV shows really upset me sometimes too. I know they're scripted and the people are actors but, for example, there could be a young girl that's not as thin as her friends so they put in the script that some people think that girl is fat and bully her. I know that's real life too and their aim is to showcase real life and hopefully help people to learn a positive lesson but that won't always be the case, I bet other people are sat in their homes laughing at this girl. Actors are real people too :(
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    plugitinplugitin Posts: 2,197 Boards Champion
    Interesting because it makes me feel like I shouldn't hate myself as much as I do - and how I should perhaps consider being kinder to myself because things that some of the people in the video were saying, I couldn't see it - so maybe others don't see what I do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I want a mermaid tale...with wings and sixty eyes and super long hair down to my arse......Oh wait you said one thing?

    If i remember the first time i felt something towards my body, Was when i was in primary school around the age of 8/9 years old...A girl also called Emily joined my school and my friendship group, she was a couple of pounds lighter than me, we we're the same clothes size..But i was no longer the 'thin one' as my friends used to call me....they we're all a little chubbier than me..I wouldn't say 'fat' they wasn't, just maybe a stone heavier...and when emily came along, i wasn't the one picked up and whirled in the air anymore...or 'OH MY GOD i can fit my hand around your wrists'...It was at that point i wanted to loose weight.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    plugitin wrote: »
    Interesting because it makes me feel like I shouldn't hate myself as much as I do - and how I should perhaps consider being kinder to myself because things that some of the people in the video were saying, I couldn't see it - so maybe others don't see what I do.

    :heart:

    I'm sorry to hear you hate yourself plugitin, that's a difficult place to be. Letting up on yourself a bit sounds like a really positive step forward. If others accept us as we are then working on accepting ourselves could lift a huge weight.. I think it can become a habit though and it's not always easy to break..first step is being a bit more aware of our self-talk so I'm glad you found it thought provoking :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    I want a mermaid tale...with wings and sixty eyes and super long hair down to my arse......Oh wait you said one thing?

    If i remember the first time i felt something towards my body, Was when i was in primary school around the age of 8/9 years old...A girl also called Emily joined my school and my friendship group, she was a couple of pounds lighter than me, we we're the same clothes size..But i was no longer the 'thin one' as my friends used to call me....they we're all a little chubbier than me..I wouldn't say 'fat' they wasn't, just maybe a stone heavier...and when emily came along, i wasn't the one picked up and whirled in the air anymore...or 'OH MY GOD i can fit my hand around your wrists'...It was at that point i wanted to loose weight.

    Thanks for sharing this Emily. It sounds like you were happy with your place in the group and it made you feel good to be the 'thin one'. This new girl came along and threatened that? Comparisons to others can often be part of how we feel about ourselves. I wonder what you might say to someone else telling you this story? :chin:

    I was worried about you adding a mermaid tail as I wasn't sure how you're get around on land but the wings sorted that out ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This Question made me realise that years ago when i was 6-7 years old, that i wanted a 'normal family' and a mum to care for me etc, but now im 20 and am not bothered anymore by my small family which is an aunt, an uncle and 3 cousins - thats perfection to me. however, when i read this i realise how much i want to change my body - i am currently a 8/10 size but still want to be slimmer with curves, i want my longer hair back, i dont want all the health problems, i want longer nails, but the lady at the end saying that she wouldnt change a thing because it wouldnt be her if she did, its true! if i was slimmer or had longer hair i wouldnt be me :) x
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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    KellyBear wrote: »
    the lady at the end saying that she wouldnt change a thing because it wouldnt be her if she did, its true! if i was slimmer or had longer hair i wouldnt be me :) x

    I think that is true, it's really nice how she seemed to be at peace with herself :)

    When I was watching this, I was really struck by the way that children and the older woman were both happy with how they were. It was the people in the middle that were struggling.

    I think that might be a common pattern, and I wonder why it's like that.

    Might it be that we get taught through our younger lives (by people we're around, media we consume) that we *should* be in a certain way, and then have to spend a lot of our lives learning again that it's OK to be ourselves?

    It also suggests that it's as we start to explore sex and relationships that those ideas of needing to change our bodies become so important, and maybe both things wear off together as we get older?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Danny! wrote: »
    Might it be that we get taught through our younger lives (by people we're around, media we consume) that we *should* be in a certain way, and then have to spend a lot of our lives learning again that it's OK to be ourselves?

    It also suggests that it's as we start to explore sex and relationships that those ideas of needing to change our bodies become so important, and maybe both things wear off together as we get older?

    Yes and yes. I think these are both huge factors that play a massive part in how we see ourselves, especially media in my opinion.

    I don't think that we'll ever 'learn' again that it's okay to be ourselves, I think people might just get to a point where they have to accept that their obsessiveness when it comes to how they look just isn't going to work in the way they hoped it would do. Our bodies are changing every day and there are ways we can change that but essentially we can't change the course of growing up and getting older.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow! This video actually got me a bit emotional. Its so true though. Children as young as the ones in the clip aren't affected by how they look because they haven't come across the negatives in media and maybe haven't experienced their peers comparing bodies. I say yet because I know its going to happen which I think is what made me so emotional.
    I struggle a lot with how I look and the feelings attached to that but watching this clip made me realise that although it feels like I've felt this way all my life, I probably haven't. Wow. Think I will be thinking about this video for the rest of my day
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