Partner of 8 years problems or the norm?

Former Member · October 2014

Hi guys gals,

I've been with my girlfriend for 8 years now and the past 8 months or so she has acted a good bit different to me.

We are both in mid-late 20s.

We live together but she rarely texts me to see how im doing or what im up to when im away or even replies to my messages when i send them, even though I can see she is on facebook.This is happening quite a lot recently and very frustrating for me as it never used to be like this

Also whenever I try to initiate sex, she often says "not to pester her" or whenever I go for a hug she sighs and gets annoyed if she isn't in the mood, this is increasingly occuring.

Any advice on this?

Former Member · October 2014

Hey,

Well done for posting, sorry to hear about ur problams. Have you tried sitting down and talking to her about it.

Former Member · October 2014

Well, I'll be damned, but the day is upon us, where I agree wit Heather.

We for sure cannot know your gf any better than you do. So what you should do is sit your girlfriend down and have a calm and non-accusatory conversation with her. Use I-Statements.

Maybe you can get to the bottom of this. It could be that she is stressed with work, that she starts to think about family, children, marriage and is unsure if you are the one.

Ignoring and snapping at you certainly is a bad sign, so let's hope she is not cheating.

Former Member · October 2014

Yeah definitely have a heart to heart with her. When you sit her down make sure there are no distractions. No phones tablets etc and just talk. Simply state hey this is what im noticing from you. Are you ok? Whats going on? Tell her your worried and just want to help her feel better. At first keep her needs ahead of your own focus only on her and why shes upset. Just listen. Do not interupt at all. Once she sees your sincere in wanting to figure out what's wrong and care about her feelings she should start to open up. If she does show empathy. Try and understand where shes comming from and be honest when u tell you you understand and will work on whats wrong. Then feel her out. If she seems relieved some then u can start asding in your own concerns.

And as for cheating. Are you guys in love? How is your sexlife? Maybe theres something going on that your doing that your unaware of. Best of luck. Keep us posted.

Former Member · October 2014

If you're living together maybe she doesn't see the point in constantly keeping you up to date throughout the day when you will see each other later anyway? I know I wouldn't bother as it's nice to get space away and then save it all to talk about when you see them later. It does sound like something else is bothering her though, but you really need to talk to her about it. There's not much more advice we can give.

Former Member · October 2014

Hi There,

I hope everything is going OK, I thought I'd ask whether you get a chance to relax and spend quality time with your partner? It maybe that spending some time away from your usual routine might give you the chance to open up about how you're feeling.
I just thought I would point you in the direction of this article on The Site which you may find helpful. It's aimed more at people deciding to move in with each other but it does give a few tips on how to keep the love alive at the end.

There's also another article on date ideas which might be helpful and give you some inspiration on things you might like to do as a couple.

Let us know how things are going.
Emily

Partner of 8 years problems or the norm?

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