If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Reconstructing my life
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been back from hospital (inpatient 3 week pain management program) for a couple of weeks now, but I don't really know what I'm doing with myself. I suffered family bereavement just before I went into hospital and I'm finding it a bit difficult trying to work out how I need to grieve. I have also decided to Jack in my MA as I don't feel that I'm getting very much out of it and having to push myself to do any of the coursework because I dislike the subject matter and the way it's been taught so much (but I'm hoping to start at a different university doing a slightly different course next September). I'm also still having to deal with all of my mental health stuff and the ongoing court case against my father for historic sexual abuse and I was basically told whilst in hospital that I need to stop using distraction techniques because it's not going to help me with my long-term pain condition. I'm also looking at moving to a much bigger city and being closer to my boyfriend and I'm thinking a lot more seriously about my future and hopefully being a lot more well and being less "disabled". But there's so much I feel like I have been out in the washing machine and I'm having to recreate my life again and I have no idea where to start. I have no help with my mental health at the moment, which is becoming a real difficulty and I'm not really too sure to start with that, as the psychologists in hospital were urging me to try and stay away from re-engaging with services because they felt that I've had too much psychological input over the years.
So I haven't a clue where to start, where to go next, or what proactive steps to take...
Any ideas of how I can get clearer on all of this??
So I haven't a clue where to start, where to go next, or what proactive steps to take...
Any ideas of how I can get clearer on all of this??
0
Comments
Sounds like you've got a lot of change on the horizon and a bit of adjusting after 3 weeks away from home. Change is always daunting but it can also be really liberating once you get all those steps you need to take lined up.
You could try breaking it down a bit. On the one hand there are the more practical things like wrapping up the uni course and getting that sorted if that's what you decide to do - sorry to hear it's not been what you'd hoped for. And also the potential move, maybe thinking about a timeline for that and then working on what you might need to do bit by bit.
The other side of things is all about your mental health, being able to grieve in a way that feels right for you and managing issues from your past. Have you been able to do anything to remember your family member or mark their passing in some way?
How do you feel about a break from psychological input and services? It sounds like you'd still like some kind of outlet and being totally without support is difficult? I wonder what that outlet or support might be? Do you have any sense of what you think might help at this point?
Feel free to keep talking, sometimes through writing you can start to gain clarity too.
And welcome back :yes:
Right now it feels like there are too many barriers stopping me moving to Birmingham. I'm hoping that it can be done by Easter but I can't do anything until I can find a house to swap with because there's no way I'm loosing a council house if I haven't got the funds for anything private or anything. My mum has said that she thinks I need to focus in sorting out my finances and my health - one of which should be fairly easy, the other is bloody hard. I'm trying to do exercise every day and maybe loose a stone by Christmas, but it seems like a really hard task to complete!!
Me and Riotmama are going to have a day a year (Riotmama's god mum's birthday) and eat cake and watch musicals and sing as she would have wanted. We're going to go and clean her parent's grave which is next door after the headstone on her grave has been replaced (her husband has been buried there too).
Hey Miss Riot, just wanted to check in and see how you're getting on? It's really great to hear about the mindfulness classes, when do you start? Is that something you've been able to find locally or online?
Exercising everyday is a tall order for anyone so how about taking the pressure off to every other day at least? Your body needs time to rest and recover in between exerting itself too.
Lovely to hear the ideas around remembering Riotmama's godmum *hug*
The mindfulness class is local and we'll see how it goes, I'm not sure how much it will help but we'll give it a go!
The exercise is physio stuff so I need to do it to keep on top of my recovery but I need to do more to get my weight down!! The whole weight issue is getting to me, and I'm not sure how I'm going to manage it. I think I might have to talk to my doctor a bit more but I don't know what more she'll say than go to weight watchers which a waste of time money and effort because they can't cater things to my level of activity or lack of it!
Hey Miss Riot,
Just wondered how it's going with little one staying? I bet that's helping you stay fit!
Talking to the doctor's is worth a try too, one thing that's often suggested is a starting a food diary (sorry if you've tried that before) but it can be a good way to track what you're eating habits are like. Pretty sure there are all kinds of apps for it now too! I guess it's really about finding things that work for you?
I spoke to the doctor and she just said I'll refer you to weight watchers which I told her was a waste of money because I can't buy their foods and they can't work around my restricted mobility either! I did start using a food tracking app but it's hard because I don't eat that much processed food so I had to put in my own calorie values and such but I'm sure there's a better app I could be using