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he has lost feelings

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
my boyfriend is really depressed and really stressed lately, he has a tough home life works full time and attends college to become an engineer. I love him with all my heart but the problem is that he has told me is starting to lose feelings for me yet he doesnt want to break up. I dont know what to do at his point. please help

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When the daily trot sets in, with full-time work, studying besides, stress and whatnot it is often difficult to "bother" with one's gf or bf instead of just dropping dead on the couch and letting the TV massage your brain. What works quite well if you start going out on "dates" again. Maybe once a week, one of you plans something for the other. Movies with dinner in a nice restaurant afterwards, taking a walk, visiting an exhibition, it does not really matter. The goal is to not be absentminded because of bills, troubles at the job, the leaky faucet etc. Once a week this date thingy takes top priority, both of you make themselves pretty, no trackpants or wife-beaters with mustard stains and do something together for the evening. Hopefully the spirits are high for a good round of mattress mambo afterwards in a way that it is actually gratifying and does not feel like a chore.

    In conclusion: A relationship can (and sooner or later will) become stale. Sometimes it is just because of temporary stress, but often it needs a bit of work. If you do not invest some effort into your relationship, do not expect for things to get magically better.

    Also if he is truly depressed and not just a bit down, he might want to get help for that. Depression is just a huge downer on relationship bliss.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Caseyxoxo143,

    It certainly sounds like your boyfriend has got a lot on his plate at the moment and you?re dealing with the effects of this.

    You mention your boyfriend is feeling depressed and stressed, have you tried talking to him about how he feels about his workload and whether there are any coping strategies you may be able to come up with together? You might find this article on how to manage stress from The Site helpful as it lists some different ideas.

    If your boyfriend has been feeling down for a while, it may be worth seeing if he would consider going to his GP to have a chat about how he is feeling and whether there is any support and advice they could give him. An expert from SANE, a mental health charity, has also written about feeling down and signposts some of the support that?s available which you may also find helpful.

    Do you think there?s any way you and your boyfriend could make some time to spend together? It doesn?t have to be a lot but maybe just checking in with each other and making sure you?re still having the chance to have some fun? Following Strubble S? post, you might be interested in this article from The Site on different date ideas, it sounds like it might be difficult to find the time, but hopefully if you do, it?ll give you both the chance to remember why you?re together in the first place.

    Look after yourself and let us know how you get on.

    Emily
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