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Pregnancy and Partner
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello guys,
So I've had to think so much about this. Apologies if it doesn't make sense.
So I've split up with my partner because his anger was getting out of hand and I could see the next time he got angry could be violent, physically. So I split up with him and moved back with my family.
I'm 3 months pregnant and I don't want him having ANYTHING to do with the baby. I've already decided it's having my last name and I don't really want him on the birth certificate.
I know he won't be a good dad for how he was when I was pregnant anyway! I don't want him involved for the safety of my child but I don't know if I'm being cruel or not?
Obviously I'd happily go to court if that was the case but I want what's best for my little pickle - and having my Ex around is not what is best - however I would NEVER stop the baby seeing him (older etc) if he/she wanted to but I'd have to supervise as I don't trust him one bit. Help?!
So I've had to think so much about this. Apologies if it doesn't make sense.
So I've split up with my partner because his anger was getting out of hand and I could see the next time he got angry could be violent, physically. So I split up with him and moved back with my family.
I'm 3 months pregnant and I don't want him having ANYTHING to do with the baby. I've already decided it's having my last name and I don't really want him on the birth certificate.
I know he won't be a good dad for how he was when I was pregnant anyway! I don't want him involved for the safety of my child but I don't know if I'm being cruel or not?
Obviously I'd happily go to court if that was the case but I want what's best for my little pickle - and having my Ex around is not what is best - however I would NEVER stop the baby seeing him (older etc) if he/she wanted to but I'd have to supervise as I don't trust him one bit. Help?!
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Sorry if it sounds like I'm having ago I'm not just nary with everything atm
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You mention his anger getting out of control - if this was me, I wouldn't want someone like that around my baby.
He's controlling and hates dong anything.
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Don't forget I'm only ever a message away if you ever need to talk
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he doesnt have to be on the birth certificate ... i dont have a 'dad' on my birth certificate...
Legally, the citizens advice bureau has some help relating to birth certificates and says;
On the personal side, it's up to you. No one can tell you whether you are being "cruel" or not because you are the only one who was in this relationship and the only one who truly knows what happened.
You seemed to have made the right decision leaving if you felt your ex was being abusive and could become physical. You are clearly very strong and want to protect your child. It's probably worth going to the advice bureau and finding out more about your rights as well as what this all means. Not mentioning the father in the birth certificate might not give him any rights - but at the same time he won't have to pay child support either.
Good luck and stay safe *hug*
He's not calm at all, we'd argue every day because of something stupid like me not coking him dinner at 10:30 when I hate eating that late and just wanted to relax at that time.
I think he understands why I'm so protective over little pickle when it's not born yet but in a way he's brought it on himself by showing me what he is really like.
I really appreciate all of your replies it has helped a lot thank you x
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If so, and if you are correct - what about the people who have one night stands and don't know who the father is and still get CSA?
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https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance/overview
http://www.cmoptions.org/
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