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Feeling depressed. Mum making weight loss hard.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guys
My situation has been that since January I've lost a couple of stone through exercise and a complete change in what I eat. And I am currently on my ideal weight.
Today my Mum made a roast pork dinner for our evening meal (knew she was doing it yesterday), so because of this I wanted to go out for a run this afternoon. But before this, she brought me a bag of chocolate buttons at about 2pm and I said that I'd have them later in the evening rather than in the afternoon, she also bought me a box of shortbread and said to me in a slightly angry fashion 'oh I suppose you won't want this neither'. I just didn't want anything to eat at that time before I was going for a run. Then as I was about to leave for my run, she said to me 'at least you'll burn off tea' in the same fashion as earlier.
I did my run (about 7 miles), and while I was downstairs on the computer. She said to me 'I've got my eye on you' because she said that 'you're starting to get funny when it comes to being asked for food when you don't expect it, and I don't want you to do a Karen Carpenter on us (Pop star from the 70s who had anorexia)'. I didn't say anything back but I just want to watch what I eat and lose a bit more than my ideal weight just to be sure.
Then I had my roast which was an ideal serving (4-5 slices of pork, 6 roast potatoes, brocolli, carrots and some gravy) and loved it. When she served it to me, she said 'if it's too much for you I can take it away' and I replied 'no that's fine, I may have some more in a bit actually' and she replied saying 'I don't think you will'. I just felt depressed while eating it, even though I ate the whole plate and enjoyed it. Also had a third of a small tirimasu gateaux which was lovely.
But I can see at the moment that she's down just because I didn't want any snacks at the time. I have tracked my calories on an app and still have a lot left for today, but it just depresses me that my Mum is trying so hard to stop me from losing weight and thinks that I'm 'too skinny' even though I'm clearly not. And she doesn't give me much control of what I eat, she gets funny when I try to do food for myself. She also has a habit of being in random food (like chocolate or cake) sometimes when I'm home and I feel obliged that I have to eat it or else she gets upset. It becomes a stumbling block in my diet.
I just want to be a great weight and live healthy and exercise regularly so I can be more attractive to girls and be more positive in my life. But I feel that I'm being held back.
My situation has been that since January I've lost a couple of stone through exercise and a complete change in what I eat. And I am currently on my ideal weight.
Today my Mum made a roast pork dinner for our evening meal (knew she was doing it yesterday), so because of this I wanted to go out for a run this afternoon. But before this, she brought me a bag of chocolate buttons at about 2pm and I said that I'd have them later in the evening rather than in the afternoon, she also bought me a box of shortbread and said to me in a slightly angry fashion 'oh I suppose you won't want this neither'. I just didn't want anything to eat at that time before I was going for a run. Then as I was about to leave for my run, she said to me 'at least you'll burn off tea' in the same fashion as earlier.
I did my run (about 7 miles), and while I was downstairs on the computer. She said to me 'I've got my eye on you' because she said that 'you're starting to get funny when it comes to being asked for food when you don't expect it, and I don't want you to do a Karen Carpenter on us (Pop star from the 70s who had anorexia)'. I didn't say anything back but I just want to watch what I eat and lose a bit more than my ideal weight just to be sure.
Then I had my roast which was an ideal serving (4-5 slices of pork, 6 roast potatoes, brocolli, carrots and some gravy) and loved it. When she served it to me, she said 'if it's too much for you I can take it away' and I replied 'no that's fine, I may have some more in a bit actually' and she replied saying 'I don't think you will'. I just felt depressed while eating it, even though I ate the whole plate and enjoyed it. Also had a third of a small tirimasu gateaux which was lovely.
But I can see at the moment that she's down just because I didn't want any snacks at the time. I have tracked my calories on an app and still have a lot left for today, but it just depresses me that my Mum is trying so hard to stop me from losing weight and thinks that I'm 'too skinny' even though I'm clearly not. And she doesn't give me much control of what I eat, she gets funny when I try to do food for myself. She also has a habit of being in random food (like chocolate or cake) sometimes when I'm home and I feel obliged that I have to eat it or else she gets upset. It becomes a stumbling block in my diet.
I just want to be a great weight and live healthy and exercise regularly so I can be more attractive to girls and be more positive in my life. But I feel that I'm being held back.
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Comments
You are working really hard to loose the weight Wavy and that's good, but for others around you it can be difficult to watch, especially if you've lost a lot of weight suddenly.
I've recently not felt hungry... like at all, which is incredibly weird but i just don't feel like I need to eat... obviously this has caused some concern to my mother after I skipped both breakfast and tea... eating only a portion of salad for lunch, she told me that I can't just eat salad and keep skipping meals... again a lot like the comments your mum made she said shell be watching what I eat to make sure I'm eating...
Its hard to tell someone why you want to loose weight. I would say though Wavy that if you are at your healthy weight don't go any lower, just make sure your eating balanced meals and still doing exercise. and maybe just to pacify your mum have an unhealthy snack now and again?
Well done on getting to your target weight, you've done really well. I notice you have said you want to lose the weight to be more attractive to girls - unfortunately it doesn't just come like that, you need to have the self confidence to pull off however it is you look. Maybe trying to improve your self esteem could be something?
I'm just wondering whether it might be difficult for your mum to watch you lose weight because you both may have had your eating habits together and now the routine of the house has changed? Could it be your mum has a certain relationship with food and she doesn't perhaps understand why you are doing what you are doing because she doesn't understand that what you were eating before wasn't necessarily always healthy?
I had shortbread earlier while I watched the football to 'pacify' my Mum. Looked at the scales and found that I will be a bit lower than my ideal weight in the morning which I'm happy with. Though that is mainly due to the run.
Plugitin: I think self-esteem is a huge issue with me, and I have been going out more and have more avenues in order for me to do that so hopefully that will increase my confidence. I went into a nightclub on my own after I met up with some friends on Saturday and felt really out of place and awkward so left straight after. I think with my Mum it's just a case of her looking out for me and overworrying. I need to talk to her about my problems sometime and how I can address them. Like I said to someone, I just don't want my hard work of losing the weight go to waste.
I said to my Mum that I am at my ideal weight according to my BMI and idealweight.co.uk (with my height, age and gender), and she said to me not to lose any more weight and she thinks I look very skinny. Even though I've seen people a LOT skinnier than me. She just doesn't seem to believe what I say to her, it's the tone of voice.
My Mum has dieted a few times this year but she goes back to old habits, and have felt myself I don't want to do that. All I want is for my parents to be proud of me, and have a girlfriend and look better than what I was. I don't mean to hurt them but I don't want to waste my dieting efforts.
I think an appointment will be made tomorrow. Would be nice to have a professional opinion on it.
She's never been 100% supportive when it comes to me losing weight. In January I was overweight but now on healthy weight, but she would make it hard for me to achieve what she calls my 'health kick'. She would get angry at me if I weighed myself each morning (I still do but without my parents knowing), or if I weighed certain foods like nuts on the kitchen scales. Lately she would also make jibes about me being too skinny or running to burn off calories, as a way of her saying she doesn't like me being healthy or losing weight.
Today I thought I'd treat myself (even though it was clearly in my calorie intake and I'm on track in terms of maintaining weight) to a jacket potato with chicken curry, and a pint jug of chocolate brownie and vanilla ice cream. I told my mum this when I got home and she would make a sarcastic comment saying that I'd have to go out for a run to burn it off. And also she said they had trifle between her and my Dad because they thought I wouldn't want it (in a negative fashion, wishing I did have trifle).
I went to the doctors today but my surgery has this thing where I have to ring them tomorrow morning, wait for a phone call back and make the appointment there and then, so I'm going to do that and see how it goes.
I made an appointment with the doctor earlier today and because he was busy he rang me and asked me what was wrong so I explained. He said to me that my weight and height according to my BMI was right in the middle and perfect, and explained to him about the ribs and he said that it was normal to have some rib sticking out. I wondered if I wasted his time but he said that reassurance is definitely NOT a waste of time and said I did the right thing by asking him.
My mum just now brought in a tube of fruit pastilles which I accepted and ate some shortbread too. So I'm giving her some assurance that I'm eating more.
I also some pastilles as I don't like the green and yellow ones (which saved me as I didn't want to eat them all), lol. At this moment everything is a bit better. Just a case for me now of self control when it comes to food.
Still at the same weight considering I had a 'cheat evening' last night. Had a bowl of chicken nachos, and a small glass tumbler of an eton mess sundae (strawberry & vanilla ice cream with meringues). Then after seeing a film, I went out and saw a band and had a small bag of beef jerky. And afterwards got hungry after drinking alcohol so went to a nightclub with some friends and got a long hot dog. The drinks overall included a few cocktails plus JD and cokes.
Still felt a bit rubbish after trying to dance with girls and failing, even got a dirty look from one when I saw her dancing.
But the important thing for me is how important for me a cheat evening can be, as it can increase my motivation to eat healthily and rewarding myself. I just need to figure out how to be more successful on the dancefloor, lol.