Feeling a bit pointless

I'm not sure if this is really the right place for me to talk about my issues anymore, but I'm still yet to find somewhere thats actually got a similar constructive rather than purely sympathetic environment, so I'll give it a shot.

I have a lot going on in my life right now. I'm looking to move within the next 6 months, I'm still considering if I should have my assistance dog back after he had a major behavioral change, I have a very close relative who is on her death bed, I'm going to be spending 3 weeks of September in hospital on a pain management course, I haven't got a wheelchair I can use (after the one I'm hiring goes back early next week), I'm struggling with my uni work, and I'm still waiting to see if the police case I was a victim of goes to court or not.

Its affecting my relationships: MrRiot lost his Grandpa in similar circumstances to how my relative is dying, and its bring up stuff for him. I just want to be held and be close to him but he is keeping me at distance because he doesn't want his stuff to come up. I'm getting ratty with him and MamaRiot at times, which doesn't really help anyone. I don't really feel I've got any friends I can talk to although I'm seeing my best friend this weekend so I might see if I can just talk to her a bit, although she lost her brother not long ago and had to see him have a long drawn out death too.

Me: I feel quite pointless. I don't feel my life has much point or direction right now. Yes, I'm doing what I can with my uni work but I keep having to push my uni deadline back and back because my life seems so bloody chaotic - I feel like I'm going from one crisis to another, and theres no routine that I can put in place that can take the impact of all of these issues. I haven't got any therapy right now, I have been referred for more EMDR therapy but it could take nearly a year until I actually see a therapist, and considering I've been in some kind of therapy on and off since I was 11 I'm really loathed to go and just have more "counselling", because it normally just brings up more shit than actually helping me. My disablity has and continues to have a huge impact on my life, I'm in constant pain, my mobility is decreasing all the time, and after my wheelchair broke beyond repair, I've been really stuck inside (apart from the time I have had this hire chair I have, but I can't afford to continue hiring it). People have suggested volunteering and stuff like that but when I can't get out of the house (or be at all reliable when I could due to my pain and energy levels) its just not possible. There seems to be an ever growing list of things I really wish I could do but I can't due to either money/disability/chaotic life. It feels like theres no tunnel let alone a light because no one knows what the future might hold for my health let alone any other aspects of my life and I just don't know what to do anymore. I keep trying to go back to using the techniques that I know help me but I'm only getting temporary relief when I do use them. I keep finding myself feeling totally out of time and space - like the world is going on around me without me, and I'm feeling really numb at times as well.

I'm not too sure if advice or just to share whats going on for me is what I'm wanting. I know people often find me difficult on here and I'm probably getting too old to be here but I haven't really got any other place to share whats going on. When people ask "how are you?" they often don't actually want to know they just say it as a pleasentry, people seem to get bored of hearing "negative stuff".