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Sad news..
*BananaMonkey*
Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
Hi guys,
I have wanted to post this thread for a few days now, but I haven't had the right words, I still don't but I am struggling a lot at the minute.
I recently found out my Nanna has cancer. Since finding out I haven't felt any emotion at all, I don't feel sad, I feel empty, I have no feeling inside me. I know that eventually I will have to accept this news, but I can't accept it at the minute. I don't know if that makes me a really heartless horrible person though.
I fear how this is going to affect my mental health when I accept it, I don't know if I am ready for all this. I am also worrying about my mum, since she found out she hasn't been acting the same, I know that is understandable though.
I just want to feel something, I hate feeling empty and no emotion inside, I have tried to act 'happy' for others these past few days, and I guess that has kept my mind of things, but I know that one day it will all hit me, I don't know how to prepare for that.
My Nanna doesn't know she is poorly and at the minute she is 'okay' she also has dementia which is going to get worse, she is at the stage where she knows who we are, but we are going to lose her and I don't think I am ready for that. My Nanna has always been that one person that makes me smile no matter. I know I should spend as much time with her as I can, but I don't know if I can see her. I don't know if seeing her will make it real for me.
My head is just a mess at the minute, and I don't know what I should be doing, or how I should actually be feeling. I also found out today that I am no longer allowed to go to the local drop in centre for support as I am now 25. Just great when I could really use that support at the minute.
I am sorry if this thread doesn't make any sense.
I have wanted to post this thread for a few days now, but I haven't had the right words, I still don't but I am struggling a lot at the minute.
I recently found out my Nanna has cancer. Since finding out I haven't felt any emotion at all, I don't feel sad, I feel empty, I have no feeling inside me. I know that eventually I will have to accept this news, but I can't accept it at the minute. I don't know if that makes me a really heartless horrible person though.
I fear how this is going to affect my mental health when I accept it, I don't know if I am ready for all this. I am also worrying about my mum, since she found out she hasn't been acting the same, I know that is understandable though.
I just want to feel something, I hate feeling empty and no emotion inside, I have tried to act 'happy' for others these past few days, and I guess that has kept my mind of things, but I know that one day it will all hit me, I don't know how to prepare for that.
My Nanna doesn't know she is poorly and at the minute she is 'okay' she also has dementia which is going to get worse, she is at the stage where she knows who we are, but we are going to lose her and I don't think I am ready for that. My Nanna has always been that one person that makes me smile no matter. I know I should spend as much time with her as I can, but I don't know if I can see her. I don't know if seeing her will make it real for me.
My head is just a mess at the minute, and I don't know what I should be doing, or how I should actually be feeling. I also found out today that I am no longer allowed to go to the local drop in centre for support as I am now 25. Just great when I could really use that support at the minute.
I am sorry if this thread doesn't make any sense.
" And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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Comments
Firstly I want to say a massive well done for posting this thread, I know that this was not an easy thing for you to do. So big well done.
I'm incredibly sorry to hear about your Nanna my lovely, what you described as feeling no emotion does not make you a horrible person. People react in different ways to news, and I get the feeling that this news will take time to sink in as such. Not being able to accept it at the moment is fine, it's a lot for a person to take in.
I'm unsure of the relationship that you have with your mother, but it could be possible that she's just like you, in the sense that she's finding it hard to take in. I was also wondering if you or your mother have been offered any support though your Nanna, (I'm unsure weather she's in hospital, care home, or living at home) Normally once a person has been given the diagnoses of cancer, their families would be put in contact with outside resources that can help. One of these would be Macmillan Cancer Support ( http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspx) They aim to offer support to families. I've also noticed they have a new online community (http://community.macmillan.org.uk/) It might be something worth looking in to my sweetie.
Your a really strong person my lovely, and I know right now you wont believe this, but trust me you are, some day you will believe it. I really do beleive that in time you will get though this, and until that time comes everyone here at TheSite is here to support you ok?
I want to offer you lots of owlie cuddles *hug* you know where to find me if you ever want a chat.
Take care,
SuzyOwl.
My Nanna is in a nursing home and has been in there since January. My mums depression is going to get worse,it always does when something upsetting happens, and I don't know how to deal with that. I am scared.
I don't know if we have been put into contact with anything, I have joined the macmillan website, after Helen mentioned it to me in chat. I am scared to talk on there though.
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
You will be amazed at the strength that you will find that you didn't know you had. Trust me on that one, I'm talking from experience. I found out my dad was really poorly when I was severely depressed and I had a major breakdown. But slowly I regained that consciousness and somehow found the strength to support him (and my mum too) until the very end. And you will do the same. It will be hard. So hard. I'm not going to lie to you in that respect. But you will realise that you can do things you didn't believe you could.
It will take time to process and adjust to all this but you will manage, in time. But be prepared to give it time. It won't sink in for a bit, that's normal.
My biggest piece of advice is to allow yourself to go through the motions. If you feel sad then be sad. Don't bottle it up because you feel you need to keep a brave face on all the time. Just like if you are happy over something don't feel guilty about that because I'm sure your nan wouldn't want that.
You know where we all are. Keep talking and do your best. I promise you - your best will definitely be "good enough".
I am so sorry to hear about your dad
I feel low, more low than I have felt in a long time. I feel empty, last night I relapsed. I am back to work on Monday after a few days off on holiday, and I am worried about how I am going to cope with being at work, I love my job. And I know routine and structure helps me when I feel this way, but it's just a stressful time at work for me at the minute I am moving rooms in September, and I have to make sure all my paperwork is up to date before then.
It doesn't feel real. I am scared that tonight when I go and see her it will seem real for me and I don't know if I am ready for that.
At the minute my Nanna is happy, and she is coping, but I know it is only going to get worse for her, and I don't know if I can see her in pain. I am scared about seeing her in pain.
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Hi BananaMonkey,
I have nothing really useful yo say, but I just want to fly past and offer lots of *hug*'s just know I'm here for you ok. You will get though this I believe in you
Thank you, I wish I could believe in myself too. But I can't. I just want to jump on a train and go away, far away, away from everything, on my own, no phone, no nothing. Just me..
I can't though.
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
It will take time my lovely, but I promise you that one day you will see it
I am so sorry you went through it, and are going through it all again, I am here for you too
Thank you for being a good friend. *hug*
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Don't be worrying about me
Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
I'm so proud of you for going to visit her my lovely, I'm very glad it made you feel a little tiny bit better
Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
I am doing okay.
Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
It was requested that we try to act normal, which is kind of hard.