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I am so scared.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So, I have been struggling with anorexia for about a year now and I just can not take it anymore. I've become even more depressed than I all ready was and I now have scars running down my thighs... It was exactly this time last year that it began and by a week into September I was ready to kill myself. There was actually a lot leading up to it ever since 5th grade.. From 5th to 8th I was bullied and then from 7th to 8th my "bestfriend" lied about having cancer. Who lies about that? And then by my 2nd month in 8th grade I moved from Tennessee to Florida and had no friends all school year. By 9th grade I made a new friend and she also self harmed but we didn't talk about it much. Now I'm in 11th and I've got my girlfriend who's in Tennessee while I'm in Florida.. She doesnt know about most of this, just the cuts on my thighs.. Should I tell her everything that's actually going on like my eating disorder or my suicidal thoughts? Idk. I honestly think I'm stupid for all of this and I don't understand why i am so upset. I don't want to be upset. I tell myself that I'm lying and that I just want attention and that I'm actually happy but I still slip right back into sadness.. :banghead::crying:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like things have been really hard for you, I'm sorry :( *hug*
    Have you been getting help with your anorexia?

    Sent by Sony Xperia
  • AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    Hey Bri,

    It sounds like you have an awful lot to deal with at the moment, but you've taken the first step to reaching out for support on here. Did you get any support after you were diagnosed with your eating disorder, Bri? It's about taking little steps, and accepting that this isn't a lie, this isn't for attention, and that there is an issue, pretending won't make it go away, but often it's a way to protect ourselves. Did you ever speak to anyone about the week into September?

    I'm not sure if you've heard about B-Eat, there an eating disorders network, and have a variety of support, and useful links around eating disorders that might be useful to take a look at, and also has way you can reach out for support around your Eating Disorder if you wanted to.

    I'm sorry to hear about the bullying, not many people realize the emotional trauma bullying leads behind, and how it can affect people's mental health extremely, but you've shown a great amount of courage by coming on here and posting about it, and I', proud off that, nobody deserves to be bullied (I'm going to end up spamming you with websites to look at) - Have you ever heard of BeatBullying?

    BeatBullying is aimed at people 12-17 and is about young people, helping one and another, they have trained mentors, aged 12-17, and also life mentors who are aged 18+ they also have online counsellors you can seek support from, they cover a variety of aspects of bullying, and also cover other issues, such as mental health and wellbeing, they have a partner site that also might be worth taking a look at, which kinda works pretty much similar - Which is Mindfull.

    I'm sorry to hear about your 'best friend' did she explain to why she lied about having cancer? However, I can assure you everything you've posted above doesn't make you stupid, it's okay to feel like this, and it's okay to reach out for help with this, it's about taking baby steps, and reaching out to people online and offline, and I know you can get through it.

    However, what you tell your girlfriend is your choice, not ours, do you feel as though you can trust her, and open up to her? It might help having a shoulder to lean on? But again, your choice m'lovely :heart:

    Look after yourself, and do keep us updated on how you're doing,

    Best wishes,
    WhispersOfTheHeart
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