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Hate feeling this way

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I hate feeling like this all if the time.. Soon it's going to get to a point where I can't even talk to anyone who's willing to support me because I will get to attached. Totally hate myself and pretty sure everyone else around me does too

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talk to a therapist.

    but you won't, because you don't trust doctors.

    It won't go away by itself.
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Talk to a therapist.

    but you won't, because you don't trust doctors.

    It won't go away by itself.
    Very straight to the point...

    Sometimes it not that easy to open up to somebody. Just saying.



    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Doctors can't do anything about this

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    Doctors can't do anything about this

    This is a very very common conception coming from depressed/low self-esteem people. It distorts your thinking. I actually read a book about this and the author (a psychologist) has doctors, nurses and other depressed health professionals coming to him, insisting they can't be helped and are beyond a doubt incurable. This is part of the symptom. Spoiler alert: They have been cured.

    What will your response to my post be? "Well those people were successful and not really depressed. My problems are REAL.

    bottom line: It can and will help you, if you believe in it or not. Nothing else will make it better, so strictly rationally speaking, it is your best shot.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not depressed though. I just have problems with attachments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    I'm not depressed though. I just have problems with attachments

    A professional CBT therapist can help with a whole array of mental problems, starting from your body image and self-esteem issues to whatever you mean with attachments. Maybe someone will come along and talk about their insurmountable problems and the help they got from CBT. If you want I can copy you convincing excerpts from the book, but jesus don't be so stubborn. Just go with an open mind and if after a few sessions you feel no improvement you can say fuck it, i am gonna be unhappy forever, but doing nothing is the guaranteed way to not feel better. I understand the feeling that you feel hopeless, again: this is a common and widespread symptom. Pretty much every person who feels really unhappy for some reason, be it depression or not, thinks he cannot be helped and is doomed to unhappiness and agony. It is part of the disease. Just go, you really have nothing to lose.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have a tendency to just vanish from threads as soon as constructive advice/criticism shows up. It really gives off the impression you don't even want to get better and revel in the pity you receive.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes I don't know how to respond so just don't. That doesn't mean I like pity. I don't know why I even bother

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Neither do I. People who have been in your situation telling you what helped them, you ignore every account of that in every thread. So really, why bother. Also what exactly do you have to lose by undergoing therapy?
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    JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey Becki,

    It seems like you're getting a bit frustrated with yourself at the moment. From the sounds of it, you do want to talk to someone about how you make attachments easily, but you're worried that by telling someone, you'll get attached to them. Is that about right?

    I can understand if that feels a bit like a catch-22 situation; the thing that could help might just make it worse instead. That must make things hard.

    Maybe it's worth thinking about this a bit more. What are the potential pros and cons of going to see a doctor or trying to find some counseling? There are lots of options when it comes to talking to someone (GP, online, helpline etc.) Do you think any of those options could help?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have counselling now but I don't talk about this much because I'm scared of looking like a fool - just a bit like how I feel now

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    I have counselling now but I don't talk about this much because I'm scared of looking like a fool - just a bit like how I feel now

    Sent from my C1905 using Tapatalk

    Just thought I'd let you know that part of training as a counsellor often involves learning all about how people form attachments and the patterns this can lead to in later life. With any sort of talking treatment the only way to really get the most out of the sessions will be to try to open up when you feel ready. It's natural to feel apprehensive about that and it's good to see you mulling it over here as it sounds like you're keen to make a bit of progress?

    This section from our Counselling FAQ says it better than I can ;)
    Are they going to judge me?

    This is a really common worry. Will my counsellor think I’m an idiot? Or horrible? Or a time-waster?

    All counsellors are trained to be non-judgmental in their approach, and to respect differences and diversity. If you do feel judged, try and open up to them about how you’re feeling. It could help iron out the kinks.

    Remember as well that how much you tell them, and what you tell them, is up to you. Pace yourself if needs be, so you build trust with them gradually. Once you feel safe, you may find you can’t shut up – which is great!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jo7 wrote: »
    Just thought I'd let you know that part of training as a counsellor often involves learning all about how people form attachments and the patterns this can lead to in later life. With any sort of talking treatment the only way to really get the most out of the sessions will be to try to open up when you feel ready. It's natural to feel apprehensive about that and it's good to see you mulling it over here as it sounds like you're keen to make a bit of progress?

    Thanks Jo x

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My situation is a bit more complex than this; but you have my sympathy here. I had similar issues too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Melian wrote: »
    My situation is a bit more complex than this; but you have my sympathy here. I had similar issues too.

    Feel free to talk about it if you want :)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi BeckiBoo, :wave:

    Sorry you are feeling like this.

    Just because you feel like you hate yourself at the moment it doesn’t mean everyone else does.

    Sometimes all we ever want to do is help ourselves and although this can be possible sometimes we may need outside help.

    Talking to a counsellor about how your feeling may give a way of looking forward and dealing with what is going on.

    You say you have one at the moment which means you are committed to getting past this. However to deal with what you are feeling you need to be open about your feelings.

    Therew no need to feel like a fool around your counsellor. They are trained individuals who want to aid you in recovery and are not judging you for how you feel or what you tell them.

    Why not just try and open up a little bit more the next time you see them.

    Maybe start small and share something you wouldn’t normally.

    Hope this helps!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    NadzTS wrote: »
    Hi BeckiBoo, :wave:

    Sorry you are feeling like this.

    Just because you feel like you hate yourself at the moment it doesn’t mean everyone else does.

    Sometimes all we ever want to do is help ourselves and although this can be possible sometimes we may need outside help.

    Talking to a counsellor about how your feeling may give a way of looking forward and dealing with what is going on.

    You say you have one at the moment which means you are committed to getting past this. However to deal with what you are feeling you need to be open about your feelings.

    Therew no need to feel like a fool around your counsellor. They are trained individuals who want to aid you in recovery and are not judging you for how you feel or what you tell them.

    Why not just try and open up a little bit more the next time you see them.

    Maybe start small and share something you wouldn’t normally.

    Hope this helps!

    To be honest I think she knows I have problems with attachments etc because I'm close to one of my carers and I'm guessing she's passed it onto her because shes seemed to have passed everything else onto her..
    The thing is when I do get these feelings, they never go away. Like there's 2 people in my life who I actually see that I'm really attached to and another person. Wish it would just stop

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You say everyone around you, hates you. THAT IS NOT TRUE. Just minutes ago you replied to a post I made about self harm, and you really really helped me. I certainly DON'T hate you, and if I don't then there must be someone close to you who doesn't too. I know I don't know your situation, but please...try not to hate yourself. I know, big ask. I'm still struggling with self-hate myself, so I understand how hard and confusing and scary it is. I love you, and I know others do too. Please talk to me, if you need to xxxx :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    imsoscared wrote: »
    You say everyone around you, hates you. THAT IS NOT TRUE. Just minutes ago you replied to a post I made about self harm, and you really really helped me. I certainly DON'T hate you, and if I don't then there must be someone close to you who doesn't too. I know I don't know your situation, but please...try not to hate yourself. I know, big ask. I'm still struggling with self-hate myself, so I understand how hard and confusing and scary it is. I love you, and I know others do too. Please talk to me, if you need to xxxx :)

    I'm glad I could help :) Thank you, your very sweet :)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    Thanks Jo x

    Sent from my C1905 using Tapatalk

    Hey BeckiBoo, just wanted to check back to see how you were getting on and to make sure you're doing ok? :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If people don't want to listen to you why can't you just accept that? Becki has not replied to some of my comments but she obviously needs time and space to think about what I've said. You really need to learn when to speak and when to keep quiet, otherwise the future relationships you will be in will not be happy ones.

    Lee
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    NatalieW wrote: »
    Hey BeckiBoo, just wanted to check back to see how you were getting on and to make sure you're doing ok? :)

    Thank you for checking in on me. I'm still feeling like I'm getting too attached to people...it's an awful feeling, especially when you know nothing can be done about it
    If people don't want to listen to you why can't you just accept that? Becki has not replied to some of my comments but she obviously needs time and space to think about what I've said. You really need to learn when to speak and when to keep quiet, otherwise the future relationships you will be in will not be happy ones.

    Lee

    Honestly Lee don't worry about it, it's fine :)

    Sent by Sony Xperia
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