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Lonley at Uni

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am at university in Durham. I have joined loads of societies, met loads of people and tried really hard. I just haven't clicked with anyone, I am really really lonley. I went to see a counsellor and they didn't seem to take my problem seriously, they told me to mix more. I have tried, I go to society bar crawls etc but people seem to not want to talk to me. Anyone got any suggestions?

[ 20-12-2001: Message edited by: BumbleBee ]

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well my best mate goes there.... as to going to societies, this should put you together with people who have similar intrests, my tip would be to keep on meeting people and talking to them, even if you don't click at first you should eventually find someone you get along very well with. Unless you happen to be 8 foot tall, have green skin and make candles out of the wax in your ears, in which case it is hopeless!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just stick it out and be friendly to people- that's all I can suggest. Not everyone makes friends quickly but it doesn't mean anything bad. At uni many people make fake "best" friends with the first people they meet, it's better to be friends with people you really get on with- don't force it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks! It is awful to see people in their friendship groups, when Im just kind of clinging onto people. What makes it worse is that I am a local student living in halls. I can technically go home when I want but I feel like this is running away. I hope next term is happier....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I would suggest to not go home too much 'cos if you are away a lot people will just get on without you and it will become even harder. What societies did you join?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by KrazedKT:
    <STRONG> What societies did you join?</STRONG>

    I joined the sociology, history, alternative music and rock society, and I go to aerobics once a week too. You'd think this would be enough...!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bumblebee, I am quickly coming to the conclusion that 99% of students are spoilt, bratty wankers with the social skills of dead fleas and they deserve to die slow and horribly painful deaths.

    Speaking as a student, that is a hard thing to come to terms with.

    you could join 800,000000,0000,000,000 societies and not change the above fact.

    it is not your fault if you cannot find lots of nice student chums. there are not man nice students.

    Why not try joining something community based in your local town (mbe charity work/church/musical) and step away from the limits of student society. Once I figured that out, and started spending time with real people rather than self centred navel gazing brats, I have found my university education and social life much more fun.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So does that mean that I become a wanker when I join Uni?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Alistair:
    <STRONG>So does that mean that I become a wanker when I join Uni?</STRONG>

    In my experience, you will have to work very hard to resist wankerdom, but it is possible to do so. I was in a real pissed off mood last night, so I might have been a little harsh. THere are nice people in university, I'm sure. JUst don't be surprised if it takes you a while to find them, that's all I'm saying.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmm... maybe it just easier to become a wanker and just fit in then <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Too true.
    I know you said that humerously, but seriously, loads of my friends have transformed into dickheads since uni began. I think just to fit in.

    I am thinking of writing a book

    "how to avoid wankerdom in wankerland"

    unfortunatly, my method, thus far, just involves having nervous breakdowns and dropping out, so I don't think it will be a best seller!

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So in what way have people turned into wankers? Apart from the hand shuffling of course <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">

    Do they just pretend to be friends with evryone or what?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey , I know wha you mean! Is it really bad to say students are wankers when I am a student myself? Some of them-middle class, look down on any kind of music except Indie, have too much money and talk all the way through lectures. Some of us actually want to be at uni and do the work, and struggle for money.
    And the ones that stole a smelly old sofa which now sits outside the front door to my halls deserve instant death. As do the tossers who decided to serenade my neighbour with "my girl" at 4 in the morning.
    The ones that are tossers are the immature ones who have never lived away from mummy and daddy and can't hold their drink.
    Can't wait to go back :-(
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