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Feeling left out by college friends
Hann
Posts: 3,434 Boards Guru
Around late April beginning of May, I did something stupid to one of my friends. There was 7 of us walking to Tesco near college at dinner and one of them (lets call her Maria) came up to me and said there's a guy in front who she fancies. So Maria then started describing him so whatever she would say, I would repeat but a bit louder. She then hit me and walked off to tell her twin and the other people in the group.
At the beginning of June there was an event for The Challenge in which both me and Maria was going to attend. Whilst we were there the Mentor told us to get in groups of at least 10 (as there was 42 of us) so I went over to Maria, just about to say "look I'm sorry for what happened" when she interrupted me at the second word by saying "Hannah F*ck off this group is already in a ten, just a go away. FFS" so I was shocked and stayed.
A couple of weeks later in college, I went to meet 2 of my friends who was with Maria, with another friend. Me and this other friend caught up to the small group, Maria noticed I was staying so said "FFS" and stormed off. My friends ran after her and ditched me. They ended up going to the park to hang around.
Last Wednesday my friend James was going to Chester University, invited the twins and then said "I would invite you but I know Maria would go mad." I understood and was fine as I had another open day that day.
Now after coming off chat I went on Facebook just to look through and I noticed that them 4 had gone on a day out again without inviting me. I know I sound pathetic but I hate how just because she's in the group I can't go.
2 of my friends said that they have a plan to throw me and Maria into a room together to get us to talk, I'm all for it but I know Maria would go really mad.
My friends know I hate it when they ditch me but they say "Well we would invite you but Maria would storm off." I would then turn around and say "Well don't invite her" and they would just go silent.
I don't know what to do. If I try and talk to Maria, she will snap at me and ignore me, and if I don't I will just feel alone and left out.
(Rant Over)
At the beginning of June there was an event for The Challenge in which both me and Maria was going to attend. Whilst we were there the Mentor told us to get in groups of at least 10 (as there was 42 of us) so I went over to Maria, just about to say "look I'm sorry for what happened" when she interrupted me at the second word by saying "Hannah F*ck off this group is already in a ten, just a go away. FFS" so I was shocked and stayed.
A couple of weeks later in college, I went to meet 2 of my friends who was with Maria, with another friend. Me and this other friend caught up to the small group, Maria noticed I was staying so said "FFS" and stormed off. My friends ran after her and ditched me. They ended up going to the park to hang around.
Last Wednesday my friend James was going to Chester University, invited the twins and then said "I would invite you but I know Maria would go mad." I understood and was fine as I had another open day that day.
Now after coming off chat I went on Facebook just to look through and I noticed that them 4 had gone on a day out again without inviting me. I know I sound pathetic but I hate how just because she's in the group I can't go.
2 of my friends said that they have a plan to throw me and Maria into a room together to get us to talk, I'm all for it but I know Maria would go really mad.
My friends know I hate it when they ditch me but they say "Well we would invite you but Maria would storm off." I would then turn around and say "Well don't invite her" and they would just go silent.
I don't know what to do. If I try and talk to Maria, she will snap at me and ignore me, and if I don't I will just feel alone and left out.
(Rant Over)
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Comments
Sorry to hear that ur not getting on with ur freinds
Have u got any other freinds u can go around with? Have u spoken to ur tutor abofut it and ask weather u can speak to her when they are there could u speak to ur other freinds and tell them that ur sorry and get them to tell her
Sorry I cont post links my phone being bad boy todayhope that made u laugh
Keep us posted we here for u
It's just that one friend though.
Well i have other friends, but I like this lot and they are awesome. I haven't spoken to my tutor as I don't really want her involved. I have told those friends I've tried to say Sorry to her but they never said anything. I guess I could ask one of them to do that.
Ah right haha, i did
Thanks again
EDIT: Just looked through the pictures they took and noticed James was there, fabulous.
As Heather said, well done for posting, it's a brave thing to do and I'm glad you came here to talk and to get some advice
It sounds like you're going through a tough time at the moment. It can be hard when you have problems within friendship groups and you're definitely not alone.
Perhaps you could talk to your other friends about the situation, and get their advice on how it could be resolved? I'm sure they all want to see you both friends again
Meeting some new people and making new friends could also help boost your confidence and find some other great people to hand around with - this article has some great tips to meet some new awesome people! http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/friendship/making-new-friends-3322.html
I hope this helps and good luck
Any progress with Maria? It sounds like you wanted to apologise and sort things out but she's been quite angry - has she calmed down at all?
Well just after I posted this, I was going to send Maria this long rant to her but instead I sent it to my friend Carrie, little did I know, Maria was there and actually read it. She replied, well Carrie did.
"She knows you apologised and has accepted it but doesn't want to be your friend, she isn't acting like a child it's who she is. She said that she doesn't want to speak to you as you remind her too much of her ex best friend. She didn't say anything about hiding it from you. She wasn't the one who planned this either, James was but don't blame him either. She said she only has a little bit of her summer due to having to recover so what's wrong with wanting to be with friends. During lessons she doesn't exactly have friends to stay with so during breaks she wanted to hang with us but we are with you during lessons."
So I got even more annoyed. I got angry with James and said he lied to me. But we sorted that out the other day.
I am still annoyed with Maria as she never told me that she had accepted the apology, if she did, I wouldn't had made that rant. But we haven't said anything since then and Carrie and Elizabeth are planning on doing a sleepover at Carrie's house and then throwing me and Maria in a room to talk and sort it out. I would be willing to but I know for definite Maria isn't.