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Cried in front of my boss today

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
So today I had my mid year PDR with my boss. Her boss was there as well but only to assess her as its her first time doing one.

I could feel myself welling up throughout and we got to the objectives at the end and saw she me and as soon as she said something I just burst into tears.

I think I feel like I cant live up to the objectives shes setting me, even though she said im doing really well for someone whos only been there 4 months. The work i do in insurance is such an important thing to get right and ive been pulled up on silly mistakes i make so its alot of pressure to get things right.

Not only that but i dont even want to have these objectives set for me, all the things shes asking me to do i dont want to, i dont want this job, and i dont want to have to do all these extra things besides my usual job.

Along with the fact that i feel guilty as i was offered a permanent contract yesterday and i had to lie and say i had no other plans even though im actually looking for other jobs, and could potentially leave as soon as the work starts getting busy.

Oh, and i didnt get an interview for a job i did apply for.

I feel like such a mess and a failure in everything. Im stuck in a job i dont want and cant do and cant get a job i do want to do

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh, and what is with trying to push people all the time? Whats wrong with accepting people for who they are and letting them work at their own pace. One of the company mottos is 'good enough is not good enough'. Well why not? Not everybody can be great, and not everyone wants to be either. The whole world is obsessed with making things better than they are, shouldnt we just accept that some things shouldnt change
  • Cat88Cat88 Posts: 377 Cool Newbie
    Hi Lexi.

    First off, I really feel for you. I've been in this position myself and it's really not nice, so definitely sending a hug and some positive thoughts your way. The main thing I can say is just keep you chin up and keep smiling, it really will get better.

    I'm afraid I don't know much about your job hunting but I'm guessing you probably don't need much advice on that, we all know the frustrating truth that you will get there, it can just take time. Just in case though, here is the link to TheSite's advice for when you hate your job and want to change.

    For now though, do you know much about your company's HR policy? i.e. is it part of the role that you're expected to progress, stretch and move upwards? It might be something as simple as they're used to people wanting to climb the ladder quickly, but if you're happy where you are for now that may not be a problem. It's something you'd need to discuss with them though as unfortunately in many companies that motto is true and people are expected to keep stretching themselves.

    Do keep us updated, we're here to listen even if you just need to rant :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I once cried in front of my manager last year due to my health problem. Thankfully I don't work there any more and my health is much better.

    You just have to keep positive in finding a job. And as I said to someone else on here, try sending letters out asking for a job even if they haven't advertised.

    Good luck Lexi :) and **hugs**.
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