Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Does age really matter in a relationship??

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I was wondering if any of you thought that age really matters in a relationship?

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." ~ Mark Twain

Do you think that love conquers all and that age doesn't come into it? Is there any age you might consider too old? Or too young? What makes you think that?

For me, Im not sure I could date someone younger - I'd feel like their mother!

Do you have a preference - e.g. always liking older guys? Or would you never go for a younger man? If you can, it'd be great to see what other people think!

Thanks! :)

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the main thing is the actual ages you are, not necessarily the age gap. Below the age of, say, 21, age gaps can represent massive differences in maturity and/or experience. However, above this age people tend to be largely similar in their knowledge/awareness of relationships. If a 17 year old was to date a 13 year old, there would be obvious differences in their personalities, maturity and state of mind. While this doesn't necessarily matter, I think it should be taken in to account. On the other hand if a 40 year old dated a 30 year old, there would be very little difference in them in terms of those characteristics. Think of it like this, the younger you are, the more an age gap stands for. The difference in somebody's personality from 10 up to the age of 20 is massive. But, the difference from 35 to 45 years is comparatively small. At least, that's how I see it. Going back to your original quote, I think it's correct, provided you're aware and okay with the differences you may have as people. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mike does have a point. I was asked out by someone who is about 14 years older than me. He is also in a different stage in his life, which made me unsure about wanting to date him. I tried and I felt as though it wasn't working.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my mid to late twenties there have been two relationships I had where the age difference was a problem - one with someone 7 years younger, another with someone 4 years older. While maturity levels weren't a big issue in both cases it just felt like they were at a different stage in life in terms of what they wanted to do when we were spending time together.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 20 and my ex is 36 now. We were together for three years. I don't think age gap matters at all, if you love someone then that's it. We had the same interests and things like that so we weren't so different. He has kids so I guess I needed to kind of grow up a lot as they were a huge responsibility. We were friends for a while before we got together though so we were already very similar people.

    I couldn't date anyone younger than me I don't think. My sister is the same.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that that's really interesting about maturity levels. I think that for me personally, I need someone to be on my wavelength and in theory, that person doesn't have to be a specific age.

    I think that it also depends on what you want from the relationship - if you were a bit younger, you might just be want something fun and relaxed, whereas if you were a bit older - you might want something more serious.

    Do you think other people's opinions on ages in a relationship matter? Or should it just be about the couple and how they feel about it?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tamsinjo wrote: »
    I think that that's really interesting about maturity levels. I think that for me personally, I need someone to be on my wavelength and in theory, that person doesn't have to be a specific age.

    I agree. My post was more on general principle. If you can find someone who's at the same level as you and on the same wavelength, age shouldn't matter.

    However, if you're happy and content and sure about your own relationship, I don't see a reason to act based on other peoples' opinions - age gap or no age gap. At the end of the day it's your life and your happiness. Saying that, though, if people close to you raise concerns about it then it may be best to listen. They probably wouldn't say anything unless they thought it necessary. They may well see an overwhelming problem that your own relationship prevents you from seeing. This doesn't mean you need to act based on their opinion, though, or take their word as gospel truth.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most people i know have a partner with between 3-5 years age difference. Riotbf is 4.5 years older than me and i think that we're kind of at the same level in terms of life experience (although in different areas) which i think is one of the most important factors in making a relationship work (as well as open communication and mutual understanding), especially if theres a large age gap.
Sign In or Register to comment.