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How to stop worrying?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So recently ive been really stressed, depressed and anxious about, well, everything.
Mainly revolving around my job and where i should live. I so want to have my own place on day but dont think Im ready just yet. I used to be such a laid back 'we'll worry about it when it happens' sort of person but I have so many 'what ifs' going round and round I feel like its holding me back, and as well as this ive had almost constant heart palpitations for around a week now.
General questions i keep going over and over are:
-where should i live?
-what if i cant afford rent?
-what if i end up having to live at home forever?
-what if i cant afford to save anything?
-what if i lose my job and cant afford rent?
-what if i hate my job/where i leave and want to move?
-what if i cant find a new job?
-what if i hate that new job?
-and many, many, many more...
These questions just become more and more ridiculous and irrational things to be worrying about before ive even left home but I cant help it.
The other thing im stressed about is going it alone. Alot of people i know live with boyfriends, friends, sister. I dont have anyone to live with, and I feel really alone in the world even though i know i do have my parents and sister but i couldnt ask them to support me. If i cant afford rent/bills/whatever I dont have anyone to support me.
I look around and everyone seems to be sorted in life, settled and happy with the way things are. I dont feel that way at all and dont really know what im looking for, or know when ive found it
Mainly revolving around my job and where i should live. I so want to have my own place on day but dont think Im ready just yet. I used to be such a laid back 'we'll worry about it when it happens' sort of person but I have so many 'what ifs' going round and round I feel like its holding me back, and as well as this ive had almost constant heart palpitations for around a week now.
General questions i keep going over and over are:
-where should i live?
-what if i cant afford rent?
-what if i end up having to live at home forever?
-what if i cant afford to save anything?
-what if i lose my job and cant afford rent?
-what if i hate my job/where i leave and want to move?
-what if i cant find a new job?
-what if i hate that new job?
-and many, many, many more...
These questions just become more and more ridiculous and irrational things to be worrying about before ive even left home but I cant help it.
The other thing im stressed about is going it alone. Alot of people i know live with boyfriends, friends, sister. I dont have anyone to live with, and I feel really alone in the world even though i know i do have my parents and sister but i couldnt ask them to support me. If i cant afford rent/bills/whatever I dont have anyone to support me.
I look around and everyone seems to be sorted in life, settled and happy with the way things are. I dont feel that way at all and dont really know what im looking for, or know when ive found it
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Comments
I know exactly how you feel! I get panic attacks so can definitely understand the heart palpitations
You will not live at home forever trust me! Once you find a full time job that will support you, you'll be able to look at places to rent. Couldn't your mum support you with that? Have you thought about going to a nearby job center that will help you find what you're looking for? And also adding a cover letter to your CV will be a great addition to any application you make.
As for going doing the real world alone, you're really not alone as many people go through this, me being one of them!
I wish you the best of luck with everything!
PM me anytime
Rosie xx
My parents are great and are happy to have me at home, and i contribute to rent as well, i just feel crap for still living at home when financially i can support myself, but emotionally am nowhere near.
Also i have tried going on spareroom but lasted one week living in a houseshare so i know that option isnt for me
It's great you're asking these questions of yourself, it can be really helpful to know the things that might worry or concern you if you're looking to move out alone. As you say above, you know that living in a househare isn't for you which is really good self awareness.
Up on TheSite there's some new videos on your pre-renting checklist - [video]
Some people may just want to take their time over a decision like this so try not to feel like you need to rush into a decision.
Let us know how you get on.
You say living in a houseshare really isn't for you - it might be worth asking yourself if that's definitely the case. From memory of what you said at the time, it sounded far more like moving away from home wasn't working for you at the time, which is a different thing to a houseshare not working for you.
Would it help to concentrate on one thing at a time? Maybe starting with work. If you spend time working out what to do and getting tone stage where you're happy I think you'll find it much easier to then have a think about your living situation. There's no rush to move out of your parents so why worry about too many things when you don't have to? House shares can be difficult but even more so when you're not happy with other aspects of your life. Once you are, you'll find it easier eg if you're in a houseshare that's not working at least you could look forward to work. That didn't seem to be the case before.