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Weight issues depressing me
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Warning: This will contain a lot of diet stuff which may create triggering for some.
Just feeling frustrated with my diet at the moment, and feel that I'm trying so hard with it but I'm not getting the right results. I still feel fat in my stomach despite losing a lot of weight since Christmas and my BMI is suggesting it's healthy weight.
My Dad has gone away for the weekend so I am spending it with my Mum so she done me some food, and feel into eating half a lemon drizzle tray cake. And stupidly ate a large cookie as a snack. And as a result I've consumed a lot of calories today according to MyFitnessPal which is pretty terrible.
I always feel guilty after I eat something high in fat or sugar, but it's because I've put myself under so much pressure to have this amazing body so I can find somebody. I have an appointment with a personal trainer on Tuesday so he can put me on a new strength training program and he'll do a body fat test. I feel that everything else looks great weight-wise but my stomach. Just so frustrating and a lot of pressure to juggle round making my parents happy (in terms of eating more) and wanting to look good myself.
Sorry but I just wanted somewhere to come in and express my feelings at the moment.
Just feeling frustrated with my diet at the moment, and feel that I'm trying so hard with it but I'm not getting the right results. I still feel fat in my stomach despite losing a lot of weight since Christmas and my BMI is suggesting it's healthy weight.
My Dad has gone away for the weekend so I am spending it with my Mum so she done me some food, and feel into eating half a lemon drizzle tray cake. And stupidly ate a large cookie as a snack. And as a result I've consumed a lot of calories today according to MyFitnessPal which is pretty terrible.
I always feel guilty after I eat something high in fat or sugar, but it's because I've put myself under so much pressure to have this amazing body so I can find somebody. I have an appointment with a personal trainer on Tuesday so he can put me on a new strength training program and he'll do a body fat test. I feel that everything else looks great weight-wise but my stomach. Just so frustrating and a lot of pressure to juggle round making my parents happy (in terms of eating more) and wanting to look good myself.
Sorry but I just wanted somewhere to come in and express my feelings at the moment.
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I understand what this is like. I go through both anorexic and bulimic episodes, but for a few months now (since about March) I've been 75% anorexic, 10% bulimic, 5% binge eating and 10% orthorexic.. so I've been a bit of everything. But that's what made it so scary I think, my weight has been fluctuating crazily. I won't say the specific numbers though because I don't want to be anymore triggering. :S Besides, telling people my weight is the one thing I find incredibly hard to do.
I guess I've been looking to do the same. I just want to express how hard these past few months have been in terms of my eating disorder. Anyone who has both anorexia and bulimia can confirm the amount of confusion inside your head, and the confusion is so much it's almost unbearable. Sometimes I just want to sit against the wall and cry my eyes out over what I've become.
I'm wishing you the best and an e-hug all the way from my living room. I know my post may have been slightly pointless as there's not really any advice, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone with these feelings. I've been where you are now so many fricking times I can't count. o.O
Went for a 12 mile run today and found that I have a huge food 'allowance' for the rest of the day, and lost a few pounds in the process. Also had a very good, filling lunch (tuna salad) as well. So I guess I have one bad day, I can recover well the next.
(only thing I'm dead scared about is that ramen is high-calorie :'(meh...
Maybe you should have your own thread because this is hardly helpful advice.
Every time I come here I'm terrified of getting responses like that, I may look like a hard tough shell but I crack easily and just some simple words like that can make a load of difference to my emotions. Please think about what you say before you say it, or at least word it differently.
Looks like there are a few things going on here - first things first, I've edited out all the specific references to weight and calorie amounts. Thanks for adding a trigger warning at the start wavy but we do remind people in the user guide to be careful when talking about diets:
I can see wavy that you're focusing on healthy eating and there's no harm in mentioning that. However, from what you have said it sounds like it's all the feelings connected to this that are the hardest for you. Would that be right? For example, I can hear that you're very aware of this pressure you've put on yourself around focusing on your appearance and wanting to find a partner. It's important to remember that people are attracted to all shapes and sizes and what will be most appealing to someone will be how you feel in your own skin - do you think that being fitter and healthier generally is helping you to feel more confident for example?
It's also worth considering, with any fitness or healthy eating regime, allowing yourself a treat once in a while - do you think you could work that in to your healthy eating plan at all to avoid those guilty feelings? I wonder as well if talking to your trainer a bit about how you've been feeling might help? They may also have some useful advice :chin:
Al0neinmusic - as Firey says, you're both struggling with food and your weight and your body image in very different ways so starting your own thread might not be a bad idea so that you can explore your options for support as well. I can see in what you've written that you can perhaps relate to some of wavy's feelings of guilt after eating for example, and responding here was your way of showing wavy he's not alone in that, as well as helping wavy to feel heard in what he's going through :yes:
You're also more than welcome to start your own thread, that's to make sure that you can also benefit from support focused on your own feelings - when it comes to talking about difficulties with food,as I'm sure you know, it's often wrapped up in a lot of really complicated feelings both before and after eating.
So - rather than focusing on the amounts and methods for avoiding food for example it would be more helpful to share some of those feelings and explore where they might be coming from.
*hug*
I've also downloaded an app called 30 Day Challenge where I do specific core exercises for about 5 minutes at home each day, as well as going to the gym on Tuesday to get my workout plan.
Thank you Jo for editing my post, I apologise for mentioning specific details so I'm glad you took that out. And also for your advice, I always find it helpful and keep it in my mind. I was thinking last night that my failure to attract girls may be due to the fact that I don't go out much so need to look at that.
I hope Aloneinmusic gets better soon too, I'd recommend to you Alone to use app MyFitnessPal if you have a smartphone, will give you a rough idea of what you can eat in goals you set up. I use it everyday and find it very helpful. Also I'd recommend to eat more healthy foods and like Jo said to treat yourself once in a while, I've found that weight loss is better done gradually. I'm wishing you the best.