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MDMA comedown.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey, new to this forum but just looking for some advice in all honesty. I've been a regular MDMA user in the passed couple of years but recently have been taking it maybe every months or so. Recently, upon taking it, I've been having really strange paranoid thoughts. Like people are talking about me and that I don't feel good enough to be around their company. I'm a 22 year old female and I have some intelligence capacity and even though I'm in my own world (let's be fair, who isn't at times?) I have never been a socially inept person and I'm always complimented on my attitude as I'm always "smiley". I think I may have an underlying issue that needs to be addressed (I don't want to reveal too much about myself because it's frankly embarrassing) but a year and half ago I was raped by two of my 'friends' and ever since that, I just have this constant fear. I can drink, I can take MDMA but as soon as it comes to 'coming down', I just feel lost and so fucking paranoid! It's driving me insane. I don't want to be this socially-inept, awkward, panicking person because this just isn't me. So, any of yourselves out there who have experienced something similar on this? I'm cutting it out for a long time, maybe even permanently but I'd like to say I'm in control of this type of stuff.
Cheers.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya afx

    I didn't look at your post at first because I know literally naff all about drug comedowns, but reading it now I wonder if you've ever had any kind of emotional support to deal with the assault?

    Rape Crisis or Victim Support may be able to help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Piccolo,
    Thanks for the reply! I'm actually waiting for a referral to a Cognitive Behaviour Therapy session (this process has taken over 2 months now...) I am very reluctant to go on any medication to resolve this. I feel this can be achieved without medication (despite the doctors saying I have a chemical imbalance) and I will definitely look at those links now as I think that would be the best place to start. I still have reported it to the police for fear of repercussions [but I don't have anything to do with them at all, for obvious reasons!]. Thank you,

    Lou x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to be a pretty heavy drug user. I don't use drugs anymore though and I only occasionally drink because I feel quite paranoid and anxious on come downs / hangovers.

    I had a break down a few years ago and since then I think my mind has become to fragile to handle such things.

    My experience with medication to solve issues has not been great. My experience has been that they make me feel worse. Especially when initially taking them, but also in the long term they just made me feel sort of detached and dopey, as well as more paranoid and anxious.

    If found counselling on the NHS pretty poor, I saw a different person each week and it wasn't very useful. My friend has had private therapy and found it very good.

    If you feel that taking MDMA isn't worth the come down, then don't take it. I had some horrific come downs from MDMA. As well as feeling very paranoid and anxious I also experienced feeling pretty rough physically, night terrors, sleep paralysis and black outs.

    I think as you get older and do MDMA more the come downs get worse and worse, even now when I have not done it in years I know if I took it I would have a terrible down.


    I think talking to someone about what happened to you is important and you might find it helps. I've suffered with paranoia and anxiety for a long time now, it does get better with time, you just have to learn to deal with it. Take small steps at a time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Lou

    Welcome to TheSite - and well done for being brave and posting about this - it must be difficult to open up about what happened.

    The others have offered some great advice - I'd definitely echo both Piccolo's advice about getting some professional help and support to help you deal with the sexual assault. Also, as John Smithy explained, MDMA can give you some pretty powerful comedowns - and paranoia is one of the biggest parts of the comedown. Even without the other problems, you may find that you become paranoid after taking this drug, so try not to see it as a negative part of your own personality.

    We have some articles you might find useful - a factsheet about MDMA to give you the basics and also an article about coping with comedowns.

    You might also find it helpful to talk to someone about these comedowns. Talk to Frank has a helpline you can call for more advice on these kinds of issues - tel: 0800 776600.

    Let us know how things progress for you. Don't forget we also have other forums if you want to get peer support on others issues and we also have lots of chat sessions which users find really helpful for getting support.

    Spanner :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi there.

    Iv casually used different drugs for about 6 or so years now, this post is quite detailed and I'm really just looking to see if anyone can relate to almost everything I experienced, Iv always known my "limits", i have strong will power, never get pressured into doing what i dont want to do and generally have a high tolerance to alcohol so when i first decided to try mdma, i was with trusted friends at a hippy rave, even though i was a newbie to it all i knew i just had to keep calm, keep hydrated, keep positive with friends and know my limits.. ie. when i convince myself that it ll be fine to do some more because it feels so good... dont, just have fun and ride out the high.
    anyway, your post really stood out to me because of one of the things you said about maybe having underlying issues and never wanting to reveal too much about yourself, i recently had a night out with my partner and a few of his friends in London, before we left he bombed a small amount just to start but i decided to snort it (not ideal but if i bomb i throw up and just feel sick for hours) so we headed out to the rave, met his friends, did a little more, smoked, drank a little, feeling nice and buzzed but ultimately just waiting for that awesome taken over feeling, the initial feeling was nice, a little high (would just appear tipsy to people) then i started to wonder if i had taken enough or maybe too much?! a strange very very paranoid feeling took over me, i decided to keep calm and put it out of my mind but knew this wasnt mdma... not like i had always known it, i felt heavy, my speech and mind were heavy and slow feeling and sounding, it made me very uncomfortable as i couldnt help but constantly apologies to anyone I was speaking to for not finishing my sentences, there was no sense of bliss, happiness and general just wanting to socialise! on some level i knew what i wanted to say but just couldnt get the words out and the more i tried, the more upset, awkward and paranoid i felt... I felt so negative, i didnt want to involve myself in anything. i truely felt like everything about my energy was being portrayed negativity, my movememts were very rigid, the smalles
    t movememts were a lot of effort (for anyone reading this, if this or something similar happens to you, dont freak out and force your movements, sit down and focus your mind on smooth, easy motions, keep that in your mind), the journey home was horrific, my mind was full of things to say but i felt like a shell of a person, the only word i could half get out was "yeah". the "coming down" feeling was so over the top, i couldnt stop staring at people, even when they would look back, i felt so embaressed inside but couldnt look away... also, no sickness, not even a slight feeling in my stomach. the whole experience was very interesting but very strange... was your experience as detailed as mine?

    ... i dont think i need to point out to anyone who knows even a little about drugs that it clearly was not "mdma". the heaviness and slowness in mind and body strike me as ket/heroine type effects, (please anyone correct me if I'm wrong in anyway, I'm not stating any facts concerning what chemicals were used, just simply describing feelings that are familiar to me from past usage, also the paranoia but i have only experienced slight paranoia the days after taking ket. I feel I should say this also, I'm not trying to and am not interested in scaring, intimidating or encouraging anyone to do anything. I don't have or want the right to.
    im not an overly negative or positive person, id rather use logic and keep level headed/open minded until i have all the facts, the main reason i love the effects of mdma and various different drugs is, I believe when you have an understanding of your own reasons for doing it and have respect for the consequences then you can truly explore your minds potential..to me, its a few hours of real freedom.

    :) love.
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