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Homesick at the though of moving out

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm looking to finally move out on my own now, but I can't help already feeling homesick, even though I haven't even decided on a place yet!

I'm looking round my room thinking this is my home, and the currently empty house that will soon contain 4 strangers is not. At uni it was only for a short while and I could come home any weekend to sleep in my own bed whenever I wanted.

My parents have of course said I can home and stay over but I don't want to start half living away and half living at home. If I'm going to move out I want to do it properly.

How do I stop feeling nervous and homesick about leaving and start seeing the new place as my new home? I guess as I'll be sharing with 4 others it can't really be mine as I'll always have to be thinking of others.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your room can be yours though.

    I've got my own place now, so it's a bit different, but when I lived in shared houses I always had things that personalised the space and made it mine.

    My sheets, my duvet, my rug on the floor, my scatter cushions, my books on the bookshelves. My kitchen staples in the cupboard.

    Yes, the bed might be different - but if it's got your duvet, your sheets, and your pillows on it, you'll find it's a lot like yours. Same applies to quite a few things.

    Whether you take stuff from your parents, or get new things doesn't matter so much - just make it what you want it to be. Most rental places will either have a few pictures on the wall, or nails where you can put stuff. You can take down the stuff that's up, put it behind the wardrobe and then replace it with your own things. Ikea/Wilkinsons/Supermarkets are all good for cheap nice frames that you can fill and make a space your own pretty quickly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea i suppose because the landlord has only just bought the house so is looking to fill all 4 rooms from scratch, its empty, white and impersonal, rather than looking round a place thats already lived in.

    I already have quite alot of stuff from uni I can take like kitchen stuff etc which will probably help in associating the place with it being my place to live, and I have lots of empty picture frames to fill as well
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And im soooooo nervous about my new housemates!

    Ill be meeting the first tenant on wednesday but there's still 2 more rooms to rent out. The landlord did say that she would like to give existing tenants a say but that doesnt seem likely to happen, or that our say would even get noted.

    Im terrified of hating them, having a messy and hostile house, or unsociable people who i never see
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Eep! Exciting! And also understandably nerve-wracking... ;) Let us know how the meeting goes today.

    Once you're all in, it might be worth all sitting down and agreeing on some ground rules and finding out things like..does everyone want to buy everything separately or do you want to have a kitty for the essentials like loo roll and milk - do people want a cleaning rota or can everyone agree to muck in as needs be etc.? Or, it might be that things just settle in naturally and you work it out as you go along - I guess right now it's all about the anticipation or what it's going to be like.. fingers crossed for you and keep us posted :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I took my mum and dad to have a second look today and met the other girl who's moving in, didnt get to talk much but she seems nice.

    I think Im going to take it, I just need to let the landlord know and arrange a date to sign the agreement. Even more nerve wracking now because when I say yes thats sort of it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Moving on from feeling homesick..... My moving day is this saturday now. Feeling excited and scared all at once!

    Im not so much worried about missing home now as feeling guilty about my sister. Ive asked her and she says its fine that im moving out but her boyfriend told me shes starting to feel weird about it.

    Ive lived away before for uni and that was fine, and i will only be living about 10 miles away but i know she missed me alot last time and i feel like im abandoning her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I moved in yesterday, all unpacked. I've come home for Sunday dinner and promptly burst into tears on the doorstep.

    I don't hate the new place but I really miss home and am so lonely. My parents have said I can come home at weekends and stay there during the week for work which sounds ok.

    I'm in a 6 month contract so can't just leave, but even after I would feel so ashamed at moving back home at the age of 24. I don't know what to do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to give it a chance.

    Take the time to settle it, start to make it feel like your new home. Think about the words you use. You went back to your parents for Sunday dinner - and after that you went home to the place you now live. It takes a bit of time to get used to saying that once you've moved.

    You say you're lonely - can you think of the reasons that you wanted to move out? You were looking for freedom and some more independence from what I can remember. Now's the chance to start making the most of it. If it's any consolation, I've always found Sundays the most difficult, so getting into a habit of going back to your parents for Sunday lunch/dinner sounds like a great plan. Make it your space in the week - tweak your routine so that you make the most of having your own space.

    Do you prefer radio or tv on in the background in the morning? Shower or breakfast first? What is your ideal thing to do when you walk through the door in the evening? Feet up and Neighbours? Cup of tea? You've got the chance now to do things your way.
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