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Can I get adopted at my age

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited December 2020 in Care Experienced Zone
Hey
So I'm 17, 18 next week, and I am craving a mum. Mines abusive, hense why I'm in care, but I really do want a mum that will love me... Sounds stupid I know. So I was wondering if I could be adopted at my age? I very much doubt it

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Post edited by Mike on

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, once past 16 you can't be adopted as far as I'm aware. But most social workers won't look to have children older than 9 adopted, they normally go into long term foster care.

    What you could do is look for someone to be a parental figure in your life, is this something you could talk to your social worker/key worker?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is the big brother thing from years gone by still a real thing? If so does it apply to females as well. For those who don't know back in the day you could be taken under the wing of a "big brother" who would be a mentor e.t.c. just don't know if it still exists. Maybe that would be something?

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    No, once past 16 you can't be adopted as far as I'm aware. But most social workers won't look to have children older than 9 adopted, they normally go into long term foster care.

    What you could do is look for someone to be a parental figure in your life, is this something you could talk to your social worker/key worker?

    I've got mother figures in my life but they can't/won't offer the love I need :(

    Sent from my HTC Desire C using Tapatalk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whowhere wrote: »
    Is the big brother thing from years gone by still a real thing? If so does it apply to females as well. For those who don't know back in the day you could be taken under the wing of a "big brother" who would be a mentor e.t.c. just don't know if it still exists. Maybe that would be something?

    Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

    I've never heard of this :) New to me

    Sent from my HTC Desire C using Tapatalk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BeckiBoo wrote: »
    I've got mother figures in my life but they can't/won't offer the love I need :(

    Sent from my HTC Desire C using Tapatalk

    That's why I'm suggesting to look else where. I'm not sure the thing that whowhere is talking about still exists but it's worth talking to your social worker or key worker about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    That's why I'm suggesting to look else where. I'm not sure the thing that whowhere is talking about still exists but it's worth talking to your social worker or key worker about.

    I'm not sure what I'd say but thanks for the advice
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to seek out much older friends who would like of take me under their wing - which is great but you need to make sure they aren't taking advantage because not everyone has good intentions.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry to hear you have such a big gap in your life at the moment. I hope you are ok *big hugs*. I understand the want for a mother figure, but try to remember that you can get that maternal/ nurturing relationship in many ways too if you can't get it at home. Often really strong friendship bonds can be similar to that caring, loving relationship that a mother can generally be seen to offer. Have you thought about perhaps trying a few new activities or hobbies to get meeting new people? There will be the bonus of getting you out of the house too and it means you may meet many likeminded people, have fun and be able to bond over something. Obviously true caring and trust takes a while to build, but if you take one small step today, that is one step closer. Perhaps just looking to enrich your life with other people who care may help you a lot. You could also look into volunteering/ mentoring and perhaps try and help provide what you crave for other people, as this could be a fulfilling role for you too and allow you to have a close and really caring relationship. Within new hobbies and anything you go out and do, you may meet people who could be a mentor for you and become that rolemodel, who you can form that mutual bond with. It will never replace what you don't have with you mum, but it could be a good step in realising many people will care about you in life and that you can build good relationships.
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