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Not coping. (Caution, contains accidental swearing)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
I don't know how to describe how I feel right now, if I know by the time I finish typing I'll mention it. I just feel wrong, I've just had 2 weeks off school and I feel like I've had barely any time to myself even though I've been up in my room and alone for the majority, I feel to have done nothing useful, I've spent most of the time revising for my upcoming exams but when it comes to recalling any information I can't, I tried doing some set questions from a past paper, eventually I had the answers open in the opposite window and I still didn't know what to put. I'm struggling to maintain a decent frame of mind, Overly the last two weeks I can count on my fingers how many times I have felt good about myself, from a maths teacher who isn't my teacher who genuinely made me feel like I could do something right, from the small slivers of time that I've actually got to spend time with my girlfriend (when I didn't feel to be fucking everything up) and at Tae Kwon Do. During these holidays my gran was put back in hospital for a week, I've struggled with all manner of school work, I felt to fail my grading (which I surprisingly passed), and I dealt with a side of my girlfriend that I hadn't seen in a long time and one of my best friends needed me and that scared me (for extra info I've always been there no matter what so I don't get why I was scared).

I just don't know what's wrong with me, I don't want to go back to school tomorrow but I have to, otherwise I can't get to uni because I really will fail my exams. I have very low confidence if you hadn't already guessed and I think I should've gotten more Ibuprofen because my back hurts a lot (by this point I'm just typing out my thoughts as I think them) but yeah, I think I'm just going to fuck June up, I can't cheat my way through a mock, how am I going to manage to do an actual exam properly. No matter how much work I put in, it always goes to shit. Anyone, please help, I have nowhere left to turn and I'm scared, I don't know what to do? :crying:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi :)
    meagain wrote: »
    I've spent most of the time revising for my upcoming exams but when it comes to recalling any information I can't, I tried doing some set questions from a past paper, eventually I had the answers open in the opposite window and I still didn't know what to put.

    The fact that you've managed to do so much revision is great, so well done! What kind of revising have you been doing? Just reading through things or have you been trying to make it more interesting?

    There's some good quiz and flashcard making software on The Student Room (here), that might be worth a try?
    meagain wrote: »
    Over the last two weeks I can count on my fingers how many times I have felt good about myself, from a maths teacher who isn't my teacher who genuinely made me feel like I could do something right, from the small slivers of time that I've actually got to spend time with my girlfriend (when I didn't feel to be fucking everything up) and at Tae Kwon Do.

    It's really good that you've managed to have some time when you've felt good about yourself, have you got any other times like this planned soon or throughout exams to give you something to look forward to?

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Gran, how's she doing now? Also well done on your grading! For such a stressful time you've done really well to pass :)

    Remember that it's most important to look after yourself, I understand that your friend and girlfriend need you but you won't be able to support them properly unless you're ok yourself. It's perfectly alright to say you can't help them at the moment and I'm sure they'll understand.

    Best of luck with your exams and remember to keep posting if it helps :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi, when it comes to revision I've tried all medias possible, trialling few new methods given by a close teacher, so I'll have to see how that goes. Free time, got a few little bits here and there, not that mum's happy. The whole gran situation, well her vomit isn't black any more, so that's good? I mean she's arrogant as hell, she bothered putting her pants in for a wash but left her top on saying "well what's the point changing it?", this coming from the woman who complained about not having her hair done before being administered...

    As for the whole maths confidence thing, yeah thats gone after a mock led to me realising how shit I am as I left mine over half blank. And then there's everyone else obsessing over orals/oral resits which yeah they should because its determining their futures, but due to the timing I never got my little window of time where people would be proud of me and saying nice things for once but because of oral timings the shouts of those doing orals outweigh the voice of one person who kicked and punched for 2.5 hours, so ah well, no biggie.

    As for the two friends, I can't win, because they both need me, although one is back to barely talking to me because I showed a smidge more attention to the other so now they're alone again and it's my fault.

    Thanks for being the one person that gives enough of a shit to respond to my pety whinges..
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    JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey Meagain,

    From everything you've said, it seems like there's a ton of stuff whizzing around your head about exams, revision, your gran, your friends and how you fit into everything going on. That's got to be hard and pretty overwhelming. It sounds like it's building and building, meaning that it every new thing that happens seems negative and feeds into this downward feeling. Does that sound a bit like what's happening?

    It's understandable that concentrating on revision must feel impossible with so much else on your mind. How are the new revision methods your teacher gave you going? Do they help you get in the zone a bit more?

    Mocks are scary, but they can be useful. They can be a chance to try out revision/exam techniques and show you the areas you find difficult in preparation for the real ones later on.

    I'm glad that your gran is a little better - grandparents can have pretty funny habits!
    ninaballet wrote:
    Remember that it's most important to look after yourself, I understand that your friend and girlfriend need you but you won't be able to support them properly unless you're ok yourself.

    :yes:

    With so much going on, it definitely wouldn't make you a bad person to focus on yourself and getting through these exams

    I hope it's getting easier
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