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depression and anxiety

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 14. It think I have depression and anxiety. I've looked on lots of websites that have symptoms and examples of situations you could be in and how you would react. I have days which my sister calls 'those days' where I feel a content urge to repeat actions until I feel like im/everyone is 'safe'. I also don't like going to some places where it's highly likely people I know will be because it gives them an opportunity to judge me. I also don't like meeting new people. It's not that I have trouble sleeping, but I don't tend to be able to go to sleep until around 2 in the morning. I've noticed than I can feel very sad and cry at anything(like today). Schools coming up which is making it worse I guess. I've had a lot at trouble at school and my only friend is deciding to be friends again with the girls who bullied us. Ive also just got some GCSE results and am starting my first full year of GCSE timetable. On days, like today, I was walking slower, not talking much, over thinking things and getting so wound up about life that I just started to cry. I don't want to see a doctor because that would mean having a serious conversation with my Mum about it, but whenever I suggest there's something wrong she always says it's school jitters or something. Any advice??

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Lostangel *hug*

    Big hugs for you today. Sounds like things are very pressured for you at the minute and that can be really tough.

    You say that your worried about opening up and talking to professionals? Is it possible to talk to your sister at all. It sounds like she might have some understanding that something might be wrong. I understand that can be difficult too.

    If you're really worried about talking to someone face-to-face, you can call, email or even text a professional support group anonymously.

    For example Get Connected is a great place to start if you want some confidential advice or support. Their details are below

    Get Connected
    Free helpline finding young people the best help whatever the problem. They can provide a free connection to any local or national service, or text information to mobiles. They also organise regular web chats.
    Web: www.getconnected.org.uk
    Tel: 0808 808 4994 (1pm-11pm everyday)
    Email: help@getconnected.org.uk

    Keep posting and let us know how things get on for you. You've taken a brave first step and sometimes just wirting things down can give you a bit of perspective and make things seem clearer.

    Stay in touch.

    Phil :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Phil:) my sister is almost 12 and is starting secondary school soon so I don't really feel in the right situation to be a massive burden on her shoulders.
    I think things would be easier if people actually listened to me in life rather than brush me off as if I'm so squished bug.
    I've cut before, for about 2-3 years. Not badly but it was getting worse. But there was this guy friend I had at school. I guess I kinda liked him and he got a bit upset when I showed him. He said he already knew for about 2 years and didn't understand why I hadn't told him. But he helped me stop. But now he's gone and im worried that I will start again.
    I don't really have much family to talk to. As I already said I don't really want to talk to my Mum, and my Sister is too young. My aunt and I aren't really in a great place at the moment and my cousins just had her baby. I also only have one friend who I trust at school and I've tried to talk to her but she gets worried I will start cutting again.
    I don't want to worry anyone. I don't know if it's that big a deal at all or whether I have depression(btw I think I had it before, when I had like a mental breakdown). I'm just a bit confused I guess.
    Thanks again:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you feel bad, you should find a therapist. Try to convince your Mum, talk to her honestly and tell her the truth.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've tried
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been reading online. Could this be a breakdown. I think I've been through depression and had one before(previously this year) but I don't know. I don't understand.
    I am coping though. Some people say I can't be but I am. I'm coping fine. There's nothing wrong. Just a little ill. I'll be fine. Right?
  • Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Hi Lostangel

    Sorry you’re having a hard time, it doesn’t sound like you have the support around you that you need at the moment.

    I think maybe the important thing isn’t so much whether you’d be classed as having depression and anxiety, but how you feel right now and what you can do about it.

    As you’ve been looking up symptoms online, it might also be worth looking up things that you could do about it? Sites like Young Minds and Childline have lots of information on issues like self-harm, depression and anxiety. You can also call Childline on 0800 1111 any time you want to chat through stuff – that way you can talk about whatever you feel without having to worry about worrying anyone else.

    It sounds like the important thing right now is to be able to talk to someone and share how you’re feeling. If there are any other friends or family around, even if you’re not that close, then maybe they would understand if you explained your situation? If you want to look into find a counsellor, you can use this page to find something local.

    Keep posting :)
    Danny
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Danny,
    I don't feel like there is anyone to talk to though. My Dad has depression, I don't know about any other family members. Could this be a problem?
    I used top have a counsellor for other reasons but I never felt I could really talk to her about anything other than my dad and school. I started self harming around then as well.
    I guess I feel like asking for help or talking to someone who can help is like giving up. I've felt this way only last year and I got through it. I know I can do it but there are more obsticales this time round.
    I just don't want to let anyone down. Especially my Mum and Sister. We need to stay together.
  • Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    That's tough you don't have anyone to talk to, I'm sorry to hear that. I think anyone would have a hard time if they had things going on and didn't have any kind of a release, just talking through things and knowing someone's there who you can be yourself with can make such a difference.

    Getting counselling or any kind of support tends to be something people don't talk bout very much. So it can be easy to think that no one else does it. But it's really common to have difficult times (the Mental Health Foundation predict that one in four people suffer from a mental health problem in the course of a year), and there's no shame in asking for help. It's a brave thing to do to say that you need advice and support. You've already started that here, but maybe that's less like giving up than not doing anything?

    It can take time to get used to opening up to a counsellor, so it might well be worth giving it another try. And different counsellors are different (I know that sounds obvious!), so it might really be worth giving it another go.

    It sounds like you're already being strong for your Mum and sister, which is great. But make sure you look after yourself too.

    Let us know how things go...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe.
    I've had 4 different counsellors over the space of about 5 years. The shortest was for about 3-6 weeks, and the longest was 2 in a row that I had for 2 and a bit years each.
    Those 2 were great but I wasn't feeling like this when I had them there for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hiya :)

    i feel exactly the same as you. i think i have depression and anxiety as well. i've been self harming since last year and every day seems a battle to me. i have a horrible feeling in my head most of the time and i've only went out once with my friends in the whole summer. i have disgusting intrusive/unwanted thoughts that stick in my head and i literally overthink everything. i am going to have an aspergers screening test-i have a lot of the symptoms like finding it difficult talking to people and being shy and awkward.

    do you have a school counsellor? maybe you could go and talk to them when we go back to school (if you feel like it,i know how difficult it is plucking up the courage to talk to someone). there is an other website called kooth.com. (i used it a lot before i joined here) someone came in and talked to us about it when we first started high school,they offer online chatting with a counsellor and it's very good,it makes me feel better!

    i love you okay,hang in there <3
    ellen x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Lostangel,
    For depression and anxiety, talk with family and friends to share your worries with them, remember to laugh and accept the things you cannot change. Engage in daily physical activities and start yoga, exercise or sport. Slow down, try not to worry and avoid alcohol, smoking and caffeine.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you Ellen. Sorry it has taken me long to reply, not been having the best of months:( I'm here for you if you need to talk at all:)
    Thanks Samual. I only have a couple of friends, and they aren't the most reliable, and I only speak to a few members of my family. My mum is having a hard enough time with me kicking off without me trying to tell her this. Plus when I try to speak to her or drop hints it's as if she thinks the same but is just in denial. All of what you have said is harder than you think.
    It's not like I can suddenly start doing all of this. I am not strong enough. I stopped my self harming and I'm trying so hard not to start again. Everything has gotten worse since I stopped.
    It's not fair.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi lostangel , I suffer from anxiety and depression as well, it is really really hard! Have you tried meditation? I laughed at the idea at first but now it really helps me just calm down even if its just for five minutes, it gives your brain a little break. It didn't work at first but now it really does!
    Also i have to do 2 lots of 10 minutes of cardio a day , I hate doing it but afterwards it lifts you up a bit for about 2hours, its not much but its a start :) I really hope it gets better :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't have time. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm doing my GCSE's and lots of coursework. I barely get any peace and quiet as it is.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, I'm doing my gcses as well , but it helps just to try? Even if its just 5 mins?
  • AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    Danny! wrote: »
    Hi Lostangel

    Sorry you’re having a hard time, it doesn’t sound like you have the support around you that you need at the moment.

    I think maybe the important thing isn’t so much whether you’d be classed as having depression and anxiety, but how you feel right now and what you can do about it.

    As you’ve been looking up symptoms online, it might also be worth looking up things that you could do about it? Sites like Young Minds and Childline have lots of information on issues like self-harm, depression and anxiety. You can also call Childline on 0800 1111 any time you want to chat through stuff – that way you can talk about whatever you feel without having to worry about worrying anyone else.

    It sounds like the important thing right now is to be able to talk to someone and share how you’re feeling. If there are any other friends or family around, even if you’re not that close, then maybe they would understand if you explained your situation? If you want to look into find a counsellor, you can use this page to find something local.

    Keep posting :)
    Danny

    Just to add on to this, have you considered online counselling? Mindfull offer support to young people aged 11-17, and have online counsellors and peer mentors, I've personally never tried it, but I know many people who have, and find the regular support in place to be helpful. In comparison to hay wire support.
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