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I need help,am i just Bi-Curious or straight still figuring somethings out?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ive always identified as straight,always had crushes on girls,major crushes,im currently in another major crush on a girl right now(im 21),felt an emotion about women ive never felt about guys,but when i was younger i stumbled across some gay porn pop up on a site,and it got me curious ever since. Im still a virgin,and disucssions ive had with a couple friends came to the conclusion that maybe my lack of male friends growing up has led to me feeling this way,and liking gay porn along with straight porn. Im black,and being mistreated,bullied by my own a whole lot i have none of these curious feelings towards black males,only white,hispanic,ect... I feel its just lust not emotion as i could never love a guy,just the thought of the word related to a dude turns me off majorly.so whats you guys take on this,need some good feedback/opinions

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does it really matter?

    Straight/bi/bi curious are all labels.

    As long as you don't think you're being forced into anything, and you're not hurting anyone else then keep exploring your own feelings.
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    no one can truly answer this question for you ... only you can know .... just go with what feels good and what you want to do 'in the moment' :)
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What Scary Monster said, you are what you are, whatever it is isn't wrong and doesn't need a label.

    I've known people who are sexually attracted towards those of the same gender but could never be in a relationship with one. It was purely a physical or sexual thing.

    It sounds as if you're going through a rough time and of course social problems can of course affect who you become attracted to.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi king101,

    Welcome to the boards :wave:

    Being unsure about your sexuality will inevitably feel difficult and confusing, so it's good you could be honest on here and that you say you have had discussions about this with friends before.

    As others have mentioned, there is no pressure to label yourself - as it says in this article on exploring sexuality;
    We’re desperate in our society to attach labels on everything and everyone. Gay. Straight. Bi. Lesbian. We like to push people, and their sexualities, into teeny tiny boxes but….
    …SEXUALITY DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT.
    It’s much more fluid and complicated, so no wonder you’re confused.

    It's ok to be bi-curious, whether you end up deciding your preference or not - as cliche as it sounds, sexuality is a journey we continually experience rather than an aim to achieve a label to fit in. And sometimes it's more about the person then the gender, whether it be lust or emotions *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hellfire wrote: »
    What Scary Monster said, you are what you are, whatever it is isn't wrong and doesn't need a label.

    I've known people who are sexually attracted towards those of the same gender but could never be in a relationship with one. It was purely a physical or sexual thing.

    It sounds as if you're going through a rough time and of course social problems can of course affect who you become attracted to.


    your right,since i was 6 yrs old i was really treated bad by black people,always picked on,my own people,and i had 1 issue with 2 white boys in middle school but we eventually became cool ironic huh,and thats always puzzled me,in middle school i had 1 white friend,he was real,cool,mind you i never was into guys or even though about that around that time,but out of all the people,he was there for me. Fast forward in college now a white guy sold me some books for very low prices,and another guy gave me some software i really needed for free. To sum it up,i wonder if my slight attraction to white guys & other races has more of a psychological issue than a sexuality issue. Could it be im so desperate for affection & intimacy that i contemplate sexual acts(maybe kissing,receiving & giving blowjobs,ect...) with white guys primarily because i feel an attachment of them being nicer to me compared to my own race. Its weird after i watch gay porn those feelings go away,could it be just a taboo that turns me on,it is very confusing,i know i love women,the only confusing part is with some guys you know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    christele wrote: »
    Hi king101,

    Welcome to the boards :wave:

    Being unsure about your sexuality will inevitably feel difficult and confusing, so it's good you could be honest on here and that you say you have had discussions about this with friends before.

    As others have mentioned, there is no pressure to label yourself - as it says in this article on exploring sexuality;



    It's ok to be bi-curious, whether you end up deciding your preference or not - as cliche as it sounds, sexuality is a journey we continually experience rather than an aim to achieve a label to fit in. And sometimes it's more about the person then the gender, whether it be lust or emotions *hug*

    since i was 6 yrs old i was really treated bad by black people,always picked on,my own people,and i had 1 issue with 2 white boys in middle school but we eventually became cool ironic huh,and thats always puzzled me,in middle school i had 1 white friend,he was real,cool,mind you i never was into guys or even though about that around that time,but out of all the people,he was there for me. Fast forward in college now a white guy sold me some books for very low prices,and another guy gave me some software i really needed for free. To sum it up,i wonder if my slight attraction to white guys & other races has more of a psychological issue than a sexuality issue. Could it be im so desperate for affection & intimacy that i contemplate sexual acts(maybe kissing,receiving & giving blowjobs,ect...) with white guys primarily because i feel an attachment of them being nicer to me compared to my own race. Its weird after i watch gay porn those feelings go away,could it be just a taboo that turns me on,it is very confusing,i know i love women,the only confusing part is with some guys you know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    king101 wrote: »
    since i was 6 yrs old i was really treated bad by black people,always picked on,my own people,and i had 1 issue with 2 white boys in middle school but we eventually became cool ironic huh,and thats always puzzled me,in middle school i had 1 white friend,he was real,cool,mind you i never was into guys or even though about that around that time,but out of all the people,he was there for me. Fast forward in college now a white guy sold me some books for very low prices,and another guy gave me some software i really needed for free. To sum it up,i wonder if my slight attraction to white guys & other races has more of a psychological issue than a sexuality issue. Could it be im so desperate for affection & intimacy that i contemplate sexual acts(maybe kissing,receiving & giving blowjobs,ect...) with white guys primarily because i feel an attachment of them being nicer to me compared to my own race. Its weird after i watch gay porn those feelings go away,could it be just a taboo that turns me on,it is very confusing,i know i love women,the only confusing part is with some guys you know.

    There could be many reasons why you feel an attachment. And it could be possible that what you are actually looking for is that feeling you got when those "white" guys were good to you (helping you out, being a friend etc) which perhaps you didn't get from anyone else. That need could have been transformed into a sexual curiosity.

    Is there someone you can speak to about the bullying you were faced with? Have you ever told anyone?
    Perhaps talking about it will allow you to deal with it better and thus allow this "curiosity" about "white" men to fade. If it doesn't, then perhaps there is another underlying feeling that is triggering the attraction, and - depending on who you meet and where your life takes you - with time you will eventually understand more whether you actually have that attraction for men or not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    christele wrote: »
    There could be many reasons why you feel an attachment. And it could be possible that what you are actually looking for is that feeling you got when those "white" guys were good to you (helping you out, being a friend etc) which perhaps you didn't get from anyone else. That need could have been transformed into a sexual curiosity.

    Is there someone you can speak to about the bullying you were faced with? Have you ever told anyone?
    Perhaps talking about it will allow you to deal with it better and thus allow this "curiosity" about "white" men to fade. If it doesn't, then perhaps there is another underlying feeling that is triggering the attraction, and - depending on who you meet and where your life takes you - with time you will eventually understand more whether you actually have that attraction for men or not.

    wow,that really makes sense,that need for friendship,those good things happening has led me to a sexual curiosity. Btw ive had a few sexual fantasies about a friend i train/wrestle with at a gym(who happens to be white),good guy,yet when he would be on top of me,and vice versa when training certain moves i feel nothing,im actually disgusted,even when making physical contact with other guys in the gym who happen to be white mostly,with a couple black guys. So that puzzles me as well.
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